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Wednesday, July 30, 2014

"You must be single." - Joke

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly."

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Some Naughty Jokes ;)


The sex life of my belt's buckle is as frustrating as mine. It also sees many holes everyday but goes in the same again and again!

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Women are a lot like alcohol. They may give you a great night but they're a fucking headache in the morning!
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Female tears and male sperms are so similar. They're always eager to come out and only one in a million is for the right cause!
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Dear Periods,
The only reason we tolerate you is because you're a sign that we're not pregnant.
Sincerely,
Girls
Dear Periods,
We only tolerate you because we get blow jobs that week.
Sincerely,
Boys
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Men like sex, just like their belts...
If it's not tight enough, they'll move it to another hole!
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Responses during Sex:
Mistress: Wow! Darling this is great!
Whore: Come on finish it now!
Girlfriend: Ah! Please slowly!
Wife: Ceiling needs painting!
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A good date ends with dinner,
But An awesome date ends with breakfast!
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Cleavage is like the Sun. You can look at it but you cannot stare - unless you are wearing sunglasses!
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Internal Note from Department Head to all employees:
Dear Employees, We do get to know when you're texting during the meeting. Because seriously, no one looks at their private parts and smiles!
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If you don't get a good appraisal inspite of giving your best, don't be disheartened. Even condoms are thrown away after 100% result oriented😛😂😱😃
If u laughed ... Pls dont laugh alone...

Monday, July 21, 2014

Why don't planes have baby planes? - *An aviation joke!!

SINGAPORE AIRLINES...


Mother and her young inquisitive son were flying Singapore Airlines from Singapore to New York.

The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, 'If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes???? 'The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the pretty flight attendant. 

So the boy dutifully asked the flight attendant, 'If dogs have baby dogs and cats have baby cats, why don't planes have baby planes?' 

 The flight attendant responded, 'Did your mother tell you to ask me that?' The little boy admitted that she did.  “Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Singapore Airlines always pulls out on time. 
Now, let your mother explain that to you.!!!😁


*An aviation joke!!
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