Custom Search

Monday, February 27, 2017

I Wish You Enough

At an airport I overheard a father and daughter in their last moments together. They had announced her plane's departure and standing near the door, he said to his daughter, "I love you, I wish you enough." 
She said, "Daddy, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I wish you enough, too, Daddy." They kissed good-bye and she left.

He walked over toward the window where I was seated. Standing there I could see he wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on his privacy, but he welcomed me in by asking, "Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?" "Yes, I have," I replied.

Saying that brought back memories I had of expressing my love and appreciation for all my Dad had done for me. Recognizing that his days were limited, I took the time to tell him face to face how much he meant to me. So I knew what this man was experiencing.

"Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?" I asked.

"I am old and she lives much too far away. I have challenges ahead and the reality is, her next trip back will be for my funeral, " he said.

"When you were saying good-bye I heard you say, 'I wish you enough.' May I ask what that means?"

He began to smile. "That's a wish that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone." He paused for a moment and looking up as if trying to remember it in detail, he smiled even more.
"When we said 'I wish you enough,' we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with enough good things to sustain them," he continued and then turning toward me he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright. I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more. I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive. I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger. I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting. I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess. I wish enough "Hello's" to get you through the final "Good-bye." 

He then began to sob and walked away.
[ Original story by Bob Perks, in Chicken Soup For the Grieving Soul ]


Friday, February 24, 2017

What are you doing - Joke


A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to investigate. As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing?” “It’s ok,” his father replied. “Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.” The small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face. Several weeks later, the little boy was walking past the bathroom and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to his father. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing now?” “Son, there’s been a change of plan,” his father replied. “Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW.”

Thursday, February 23, 2017

"Sex breaks" for Office staff proposed by Swedish politician


Workers in a small town in northern Sweden could get more productive after a councillor's proposal for staff 'sex breaks'.
The idea of one-hour paid breaks for workers to go home and get intimate is aimed at improving Swedish couples' relationships, local politician Per-Erik Muskos says.
"There are studies that show sex is healthy," he told AFP news agency.
Couples aren't spending enough time with each other in today's busy world, he says.
He did point out there was no way to prove workers would take the opportunity to jump in the sack, but says they should be trusted with the break.
"You can't guarantee that a worker doesn't go out for a walk instead," he told AFP.
Swedish employees have an envied work-life balance. After Finland and France, they work the fewest hours, compared with the rest of Europe. In 2015, they worked an average of 1685 hours per year.
Newshub.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

100 Ways to Date Your Spouse

Here are some ideas to get you started.  
I promise they won't break the bank and you don't even have to leave the house for most of them!


  1. Build a snowman or play in the snow together.  Don't forget the hot chocolate afterwards.
  2. Pull out your favorite board game or card game for a night of friendly competition.
  3. Cook a meal together for someone in need.  Deliver it together with a homemade card.
  4. Go on a hike and take along a picnic.
  5. Pick a home project (like painting or organizing the garage) that you'll both enjoy and work on it together.
  6. Do dinner and a movie from the comfort of your living room.
  7. Volunteer together.  Check out your local animal shelter, soup kitchen, or church for ideas.
  8. Read a book together.
  9. Go see a high school play.
  10. Visit each others grandparents.  Enjoy the stories of when your spouse was little.
  11. Go ice-skating.
  12. Make handmade Valentines together.
  13. Bake and decorate a cake together.
  14. Go sledding or snow-tubing.
  15. Take a class together.  Your local Community Center is a great resource for this!
  16. Browse at your local pet store or animal shelter and play with the puppies.  Even if you can't take one home, you'll enjoy the cuddles.
  17. Check out a coffee shop.  Bonus points if they have live music!
  18. Go to a baseball game (Little League, Minor League, or Major League).
  19. Create a scrapbook of your relationship together or finally put all those pictures into an album!
  20. Visit a local museum.
  21. Plan your dream vacation (even if you can't go).
  22. Take dance classes together.
  23. Visit a local farm.  Many areas have Farm Days or are open to the public on certain days.  
  24. Go play at the park.
  25. Go to the gym together.
  26. Make homemade pizza.
  27. Make a special egg hunt for your spouse.  Fill the eggs with their favorite candy and love notes.
  28. Bake cookies together.
  29. Go to the local zoo.
  30. Find a local Shakespeare in the Park and attend an outdoor production.
  31. Go fishing!
  32. Try out horseback riding.
  33. Play Frisbee Golf.
  34. Pick flowers together and make a beautiful centerpiece for your kitchen table or give them to someone to brighten their day!
  35. Go play mini-golf.
  36. Try your hand at the batting cages.
  37. Dye Easter eggs together.
  38. Spend an evening looking through each others old yearbooks and photo albums.
  39. Take a tour of a historic home or spend the day strolling through a historic Downtown area.
  40. Put together a puzzle.
  41. Plant something or start a garden together.
  42. Hit the driving range.
  43. Go to Cosco (or a local grocery store) and try all the samples!  (Free Lunch!)
  44. Feed the ducks.
  45. Go shooting at a firing range, or make your own out of plastic bottles and use a water gun to knock them down.
  46. Buy some cheap canvases and paint a masterpiece together.
  47. Go hiking.
  48. Make homemade bird feeders.
  49. Go for a bike ride.
  50. Wash the car together and have a water fight.
  51. Lay a blanket in the grass and watch the clouds.
  52. Run a 5K together.
  53. Fill a time capsule together and bury it in your backyard.
  54. Go roller-skaing at a local rink or even in your neighborhood.
  55. Find a free outdoor movie and pack your own snacks.
  56. Make homemade ice cream or popsicles together.
  57. Spend an evening looking at the stars.  You can check out a book on constellations at the library and see how many you can find.
  58. Try out geocaching.
  59. Visit a toy store together (WITHOUT the kids).  You'll be amazed at how fun the toys can be when you're not telling your kids that you can't buy them!
  60. Go to the State or County Fair.
  61. Search for treasures at garage sales.
  62. Catch fireflies.
  63. Go apple picking.
  64. Visit a Farmer's Market together.
  65. Play in the rain.
  66. Make your own Drive-in movie by watching a movie on your laptop in the front yard.
  67. Search for seashells at the beach.
  68. Make s'mores over a campfire.
  69. Take advantage of the free local fireworks displays or buy some of your own and have your own show.
  70. Tour a local chocolate factory and enjoy the free samples.
  71. Grab some other couples for a game of flashlight hide-and-seek.
  72. Join a book club together.
  73. Play darts (at home).
  74. Enjoy a hayride.
  75. Try karaoke or host your own karaoke night.
  76. Make a slideshow together with old family photos.
  77. Go play at the arcade and challenge each other to a game of PacMan or Skee-Ball.
  78. Tour your local fire station.
  79. Go fly a kite!  Better yet, build one together and see if it flies.
  80. Attend a concert in the park.  
  81. Learn origami.
  82. Make a scavenger hunt for your spouse.
  83. Try a new food together.
  84. Play in the leaves.
  85. Carve a pumpkin together.
  86. Visit an aquarium.
  87. Cook a new recipe together.
  88. Write love notes to each other.
  89. Have professional photos taken.
  90. Start a new holiday tradition (for any holiday)
  91. Go for a drive to see Christmas lights.
  92. Get a group together to go caroling.
  93. Challenge each other to a billiards competition.
  94. Make your own homemade ornaments.
  95. Attend a local festival.
  96. Go to a parade or join in a help decorate a float for a local church or organization.
  97. Go test-drive your dream car.
  98. Spend an evening at the batting cages.
  99. Go rock-climbing.
  100. Have a picnic (even if it's only on your living room floor).
Honestly, it doesn't matter WHAT you do.  The most important thing is to have fun with each other and let each other know how much you enjoy spending time with each other.  My husband and I can have fun folding the laundry or cuddling on the couch, especially when the kids are in bed!


It's all in how you approach your relationship.  
Choose joy!  Choose gratitude!  Choose forgiveness!  Choose love!

Monday, February 20, 2017

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

The Ultimate Rejection Letter



Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA  34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Black ??!! - An Awesome Joke


A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack. He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed. An young nurse came to cleanse his body with sponge. The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am just setting you clean” The patient repeated again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse was quite embarrassed to answer the question and said “Sir everything should be OK” The patient just kept on asking again and again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse could not bear a patient concerned so much. So she raised his gown, moved her hand to find and grab his penis and testicle, moved it all around, checked very closely and suddenly man ejaculated on nurse’s hand. The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at the fiasco says loudly enough, “Ma’am, Thanks but I still need to know 'Are my tests results back?’”

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Fallen - Joke


A person once went for an interview in a very reputed company. While entering the room, he slipped and fell on the ground. Humiliated, one might think. Documents scattered all over the place.

The man picked himself up. And with a smile on his face he spoke out loud, "Finally, I have fallen into right place!".
He was hired the very next moment.

Monday, February 13, 2017

36 Rules all Men Must Know

These are the 37 Rules all Men Must Know...

You don’t have to agree with these rules but these are all characteristics of a good man.

  1. Know what you want. Don’t go around asking for approval.
  2. Always love and respect your parents.
  3. Never cheat on your girlfriend/wife.
  4. On the bus always give up your seat to the elderly, pregnant women, and mothers with their kids.
  5. Don’t lend money to your family. Give it.
  6. Don’t put others down.
  7. Don’t participate in gossip.
  8. Exercise.
  9. At the gym wear nice clothes. You will interact with a lot of different kinds of professionals there and first impressions are everything.
  10. Don’t ever take selfies.
  11. In emails and texts don’t use short form.
  12. No matter how mad you may be at your family, keep it in the family.
  13. Don’t brag.
  14. Listen. Girls like to talk about themselves.
  15. Never use the term: “Shit happens.” Put in more efforts into comforting that person.
  16. If talking to someone you don’t want to, make a polite excuse and leave.
  17. Never talk religion with anyone. Keep it to yourself.
  18. Don’t follow others.
  19. Don’t waste your life away being on your phone and computer all the time.
  20. When making plans, call. Don’t text.
  21. Know how to fix things around the house.
  22. Don’t be intimidated by anyone.
  23. Know how to fight.
  24. Have hobbies.
  25. Don’t be afraid to go and watch a movie alone.
  26. Learn to be patient and relaxed.
  27. Never stop learning new skills.
  28. Read books and keep the mind fresh.
  29. Read the newspaper.
  30. You don’t need a reason to buy your mom flowers.
  31. Never split the check. Always pay it.
  32. Play chess at least twice a week. Keeps the mind super fresh.
  33. Own a pair of expensive sunglasses, gloves and nice scarf.
  34. Own at least two nice watches.
  35. Use a money clip. Not a wallet.
  36. Don’t buy things you can’t afford.

New Nighty - Joke


The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, "You look so beautiful and sexy my darling." The wife says, "I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me that."

Friday, February 10, 2017

Old Couple and SEX - Joke


An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about s*x?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently ", she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"

Wives !!!!













Wives !!!!


Wife : "why are u home so early?"
Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!"
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Doctor : How is ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town 
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a
better model in his neighbourhood 
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego! ๐Ÿ˜ท
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Whisky is a brilliant invention.
One double and you start feeling single again. ๐Ÿ˜‡
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen of them

๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Q - If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
Ans - Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day๐Ÿ˜‚

๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened....๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Wives are magicians........
They can change anything into an argument....๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜œ
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT man replied:
Women don't have a wife!๐Ÿ˜œ ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜œ
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Share this with all men for a good laugh and with women who can handle it...

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Shadow sex

Shadow Sex


Pregnancy Test !!!


Pregnancy Test !!!


Monday, February 6, 2017

Making a Puppy - Joke


A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex. The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?" The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says "they're just making a puppy." "OK" says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn't probe further. The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having sex. The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing he's in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table. His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?" Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says "me and mommy were making a baby." His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies "flip mommy over, I want a puppy!"

Saturday, February 4, 2017

A Sunday quickie - Joke


Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Boyfriend's new Sports car


A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Share/Save/Bookmark