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Showing posts with label Indian Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Indian Jokes. Show all posts

Thursday, December 14, 2017

WHY MEN ARE SO HONEST - New Version Story

*WHY MEN ARE SO HONEST*

New Version Story 




If you are female and reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if male, then feel proud after reading it!

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, *"Why are you crying?"*
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water and he needed it to make a living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a *Golden Axe*. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied: *"No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a Silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied: "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an Iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied: *"Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all 3 Axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him: "Why are you crying?"
*"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Deepika Padukone.
"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. 
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" 
The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'NO' to  Deepika padukone , you would have come up with KATRINA. Then if I said 'NO' to her, you would have come up with *MY WIFE*. Had I then said 'YES,' you would have given me all 3.*
Lord, I'm a poor man, & not able to take care of 3 wives, so THAT'S why I said YES to Deepika."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a *good and honorable reason and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it

*MEN ARE TRULY HONORABLE!*
πŸ˜œπŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜€πŸ˜„πŸ˜œπŸ˜‹πŸ˜πŸ˜ƒ

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Killer English.

Killer English...


πŸ˜€Plz forgive me if u die laughingπŸ˜€

This is an actual letter taken from the Times of India in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement:

Madam,
I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna. I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.
I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna. I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School, Bezna Road.
I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.
I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing.
I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.

πŸ’RIP ENGLISHπŸ™

Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Bank Manager at a South Indian restaurant - Joke


Bank Manager  goes to a south Indian restaurant.
He asks the waiter - What have you got?

Waiter - Idly , vada, uppma, pongal, dosa , poori, parotta, naan, oothappam, idiyappam..

Banker - OK ok..bring idly, vada, and dosa. And 2 oothappam for parcel..

Waiter - Sorry sir...all sold out. Nothing is left.

Banker - Why then the hell you recited such a big menu ?

Waiter - Sir ,  I go  to your ATM daily. After asking for  PIN , Account details, Amount required , whether printed receipt required  etc.,
It finally says ' 'No Cash'.....

Now you know how it feels when that happens!!!!!            

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Monday, November 21, 2016

Trump, Modi and Women !!!

Trump, Modi and Women !!!



Sunday, April 24, 2016

You will die laughing - The Best Indian Joke ever ???

Nearly died laughing....

A Sindhi, a Southy and Sardar worked together in an office and had a common boss.
Each day, they watched the boss leave work early. One day, the three decided that when the boss left, they would leave right behind him. After all, he never called or came back to work, so how would he know they went home early?

The Sindhi was happy to be home early. He checked his bank accounts, counted his cash and went to bed early.

The Southy too was elated to be home early. He performed a long pooja, had a leisurely curd rice dinner and went to bed early.

The Sardar was thrilled to get home early and surprise his wife. But when he got to his bedroom, he heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, he cracked open the door and was mortified to see his wife in bed with his boss! 
Gently he closed the door and crept out of the house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the Sindhi and the Southy planned to leave early again, and they asked the Sardar if he too would leave with them.

'No way !' the Sardar exclaimed, 'I almost got caught yesterday !'
πŸ˜„

Monday, September 2, 2013

Gujrati Lady !!! Funny and Naughty


A sophisticated looking Gujarati lady walks into a tattoo shop and sits down.
 
The owner, amazed at seeing such a sophisticated lady in his shop, runs over immediately and asks if he could help her.
 
To his shock and utter delight, she lifts up her silk sari and points to her right inner thigh - very high up. 'Right here,' she says, 'I want you to tattoo a clay lamp and underneath it I want the word Diwali.'
 
Then she points to her left thigh just as high up and says, 'On this side, I want you to tattoo an evergreen tree with lights and tinsel and an angel on top and underneath it I want the word Christmas.'
 
The owner looks at her. 'Ooh, lady, it is none of my business, but that is probably the most unusual request I have ever heard. Why in the world do you want to do that?
 
'Well,' the lady said, 'I'm sick and tired of my husband always complaining that there is never anything good to enjoy between Diwali and Christmas.
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