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Showing posts with label engineer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label engineer. Show all posts

Thursday, June 7, 2018

An Engineer in Hell ! - Joke



An engineer dies and goes to Hell.

"Welcome to my domain!" Satan says, with a malicious grin and a nod to the lava pools and torture devices. "I hope it's to your liking."

"It's alright," the engineer says. "But it could do with some improvements. I'd be happy to help if you give me good treatment."

"What kind of improvements are we talking about?" Satan asks.

And so over the next few months, the engineer undertakes a comprehensive programme of refurbishment. He installs escalators, flushing toilets, motion-activated lighting and air conditioning. Satan is delighted with his work.

One day, God comes down to Hell (as he does every so often to check how things are going). He's shocked to see the changes that have been made and demands an explanation. Satan tells him all about the engineer.

"This isn't fair," God says. "I should get to use his services as well. If he helps me out, I'll let him in to Heaven."

"You can't do that," Satan says. "He's mine. We agreed that people went to either Heaven or Hell. I'm not letting you have him."

"Fine," God says. "I'll sue to be released from our agreement."

"Good luck with that," Satan says. "Not even God can find a good lawyer in Heaven."

Friday, September 9, 2016

God is an Engineer? - Joke


Three engineers, mechanical, electrical, and civil, were sitting in a bar arguing about God.

The mechanical engineer says "It's obvious God is a mechanical engineer. Look at the human body. Look at all the joints, tendons, and muscle systems. Only an ME could figure all that out so that we walk upright."

The electrical engineer takes a drink and rolls his eyes. "You're wrong. God is an electrical engineer. Look at the human body! You've got neurons firing, nerve cells, signal transfers, only an EE could have even come up with that."

The civil engineer finishes off his beet and laughs. "You're both wrong. God's obviously a civil engineer. Look at the human body! Who else but a CE would run a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"

Friday, August 3, 2012

Latest technology - Joke



Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by selling those programs in the Sunday market. 


One day, while he was working, his machine tumbled off the table and fell in the river. Encouraged by the Panchatantra story of his childhood (the woodcutter and the axe), he started praying to the River Goddess. 


The River Goddess wanted to test him and so appeared only after one month of rigorous prayers. The engineer told her that he had lost his computer in the river. As usual, the Goddess wanted to test his honesty. She showed him a match box and asked, "Is this your computer ?" Disappointed by the Goddess' lack of computer awareness, the engineer replied, "No." She next showed him a pocket-sized calculator and asked if that was his. Annoyed, the engineer said "No, not at all!!" 


Finally, she came up with his own Pentium machine and asked if it was his. The engineer, left with no option, sighed and said "Yes." The River Goddess was happy with his honesty. She was about to give him all three items, but before she could make the offer, the engineer asked her, "Don't you know that you're supposed to show me some better computers before bringing up my own ?" 


The River Goddess, angered at this, replied, "I know that, you stupid idiot! The first two things I showed you were the Trillennium and the Billennium, the latest computers from IBM!" So saying, she disappeared with the Pentium!! 


Moral: If you're not up-to-date with technology trends, it is better keep your mouth shut and let people think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it !!!



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