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Showing posts with label funny stories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny stories. Show all posts

Monday, September 8, 2014

The Four Cats !!!!




The Four Cats

 

Four men were bragging about how smart
their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,
the second man was an Accountant,
the third man was a Chemist, and
the fourth man was a Government Employee.

 
To show off, the Engineer called his cat,
'T-square, do your stuff.'

 
T-square pranced over to the desk,
took out some paper and pen and promptly
drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.
Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

 
But the Accountant said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said,
'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned
with a dozen cookies.
He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good!

 
But the Chemist said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said,
'Measure, do your stuff.'

 
Measure got up, walked to the fridge,
took out a quart of milk,
got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard
and poured exactly 8 ounces
without spilling a drop into the glass.

 
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the
Government Employee and said,
'What can your cat do?'

 
The Government Employee called his cat and said,
'Coffee Break, do your stuff.'
Coffee Break jumped to his feet.......
ate the cookies..... ..
drank the milk.......
sh-t on the paper.......
screwed the other three cats.......
claimed he injured his back while doing so.......
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.. .....
put in for Workers' Compensation. ......... .....and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.
AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO
WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!

Saturday, January 18, 2014

LIFE is to enjoy - Live life with laugh

An Old man has 8 hair on his head.

He went to Barber shop.

Barber in anger asked: shall i cut or count ?

Old man smiled and said: "Colour it!"

LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you, keep smiling.
------------------



If you feel STRESSED,

Give yourself a Break,

Enjoy Some..

Ice cream

Chocolates

Cake

Why?

B'Coz

STRESSED in reverse Spelling - DESSERTS !!!

Alphabetic advice for you:

A B C - Avoid Boring Company..

D E F - Don't Entertain Fools..

G H I - Go for High Ideas .

J K L M - Just Keep a friend like ME..

N O P - Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..

Q R S - Quit Reacting to Silly tales..

T U V - Tune Urself for ur Victory..

W X Y Z - We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

If you see the moon ..... You see the beauty of God .....
If you see the Sun ..... You see the power of God ..... And ....
If you see the Mirror..... You see the best Creation of GOD .

So Believe in YOURSELF.

Our aim in life should be
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

9 - glass drinking water.
8 - hrs sound sleep.
7 - wonders tour with family.
6 - six digit income.
5 - days work a week
4 - wheeler.
3 - bedroom flat
2 - cute children.
1 - sweetheart.
0 - tension !


Monday, September 2, 2013

Gujrati Lady !!! Funny and Naughty


A sophisticated looking Gujarati lady walks into a tattoo shop and sits down.
 
The owner, amazed at seeing such a sophisticated lady in his shop, runs over immediately and asks if he could help her.
 
To his shock and utter delight, she lifts up her silk sari and points to her right inner thigh - very high up. 'Right here,' she says, 'I want you to tattoo a clay lamp and underneath it I want the word Diwali.'
 
Then she points to her left thigh just as high up and says, 'On this side, I want you to tattoo an evergreen tree with lights and tinsel and an angel on top and underneath it I want the word Christmas.'
 
The owner looks at her. 'Ooh, lady, it is none of my business, but that is probably the most unusual request I have ever heard. Why in the world do you want to do that?
 
'Well,' the lady said, 'I'm sick and tired of my husband always complaining that there is never anything good to enjoy between Diwali and Christmas.
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