Mulla and KIng's singing horse

Nasrudin was caught in the act and sentenced to die. 
Hauled up before the king, he was asked by the Royal Presence: "Is there any reason at all why I shouldn't have your head off right now?" 
To which he replied: "Oh, King, live forever! Know that I, the Mullah Nasrudin, am the greatest teacher in your kingdom, and it would surely be a waste to kill such a great teacher. So skilled am I that I could even teach your favorite horse to sing, given a year to work on it." 

The king was amused, and said: "Very well then, you move into the stable immediately, and if the horse isn't singing a year from now, we'll think of something interesting to do with you."

As he was returning to his cell to pick up his spare rags, his cellmate remonstrated with him: "Now that was really stupid. You know you can't teach that horse to sing, no matter how long you try." 

Nasrudin's response: "Not at all. I have a year now that I didn't have before. And a lot of things can happen in a year. The king might die. The horse might die. I might die."
"And, who knows? Maybe the horse will sing."

Dilbert's one liners

*Dilbert's one liners:*

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen. 😀😊☺

2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.

3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.😁😔😗

4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time. 😝😛

5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane. 😊😍

6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.. 😄😃

7. Born free, taxed to death. 😃😀

8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first. 😙😜☺

10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. 😊☺😍

11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on yourpants. 🌿🌾🍄😄😃😍

12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere. 🌷🌿🌹

13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork. 🍁💐🌸

14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and theblinking red light.🌸🍂🌰

15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented theother three, he was the genius.🌹🌻🌺

16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.

17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills? 🌸🍂🌿

18.. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one? 🍀🌿🌹

19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!💐🌸🌷

20. If you can't convince them, confuse them. 💐😜👍

21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end. 😨🌺🌲

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. 😜😀😃

23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers

24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker. 🌺🌻🌷

25. Someday is not a day of the week

26.. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.💃🍄

28. The road to success.... Is always under construction. 💐🍃

29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk. 😖😀

30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.

And the Best!

31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else! 😜😃

Diamond Necklace :D - Joke

Wife:(waking up from her sleep)
I just had a dream that
you bought me
a diamond necklace

Husband : go back to sleep and wear it!

This is our Brain

This is our Brain 

A Little Engineer Humor

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost.  He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: :Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below says: "Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude."

"You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.

"I am" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost."

The man below says "You must be a manager."

"I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

Engineers - Funny Side ;)

How many software customer-support people does it take to change a light bulb ?

What makes you think the problem is with the light bulb? Have you tried reinstalling your house's electrical wiring?

---

Two bytes were at a bar. One byte turns to the other and says "Hey, I'm not feeling too well, I think I have a parity error." The other byte says "Yeah, I thought you looked a bit off."

---

Power = Work / Time (physics)

but

Time is Money and
Knowledge is Power

therefore,

Knowledge = Work / Money
and
Money = Work / Knowledge

Therefore, the more you know, the less you get paid.

---

What's the difference between a civil engineer and an aerospace engineer?

Aerospace engineer's build weapons, civil engineers build targets!

God is an Engineer? - Joke

Three engineers, mechanical, electrical, and civil, were sitting in a bar arguing about God.

The mechanical engineer says "It's obvious God is a mechanical engineer. Look at the human body. Look at all the joints, tendons, and muscle systems. Only an ME could figure all that out so that we walk upright."

The electrical engineer takes a drink and rolls his eyes. "You're wrong. God is an electrical engineer. Look at the human body! You've got neurons firing, nerve cells, signal transfers, only an EE could have even come up with that."

The civil engineer finishes off his beet and laughs. "You're both wrong. God's obviously a civil engineer. Look at the human body! Who else but a CE would run a toxic waste line through a recreation area?"

Trust me - I am an Engineer

Trust me - I am an Engineer

Things youll never hear a man say

LIFE is to enjoy - Live life with laugh

An Old man has 8 hair on his head.

He went to Barber shop.

Barber in anger asked: shall i cut or count ?

Old man smiled and said: "Colour it!"

LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you, keep smiling.
------------------

If you feel STRESSED,

Give yourself a Break,

Enjoy Some..

Ice cream

Chocolates

Cake

Why?

B'Coz

STRESSED in reverse Spelling - DESSERTS !!!

Alphabetic advice for you:

A B C - Avoid Boring Company..

D E F - Don't Entertain Fools..

G H I - Go for High Ideas .

J K L M - Just Keep a friend like ME..

N O P - Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..

Q R S - Quit Reacting to Silly tales..

T U V - Tune Urself for ur Victory..

W X Y Z - We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

If you see the moon ..... You see the beauty of God .....
If you see the Sun ..... You see the power of God ..... And ....
If you see the Mirror..... You see the best Creation of GOD .

So Believe in YOURSELF.

Our aim in life should be
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

9 - glass drinking water.
8 - hrs sound sleep.
7 - wonders tour with family.
6 - six digit income.
5 - days work a week
4 - wheeler.
3 - bedroom flat
2 - cute children.
1 - sweetheart.
0 - tension !