Matrimonial Ads

Matrimonial ads

FISHERMAN

Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms

and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please

send photograph of motorboat.

SALESMAN

Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the

original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and

smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife.

And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own

house, car and successful career!

ECONOMIST

I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my

requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my

demands should not bear too heavy a burden

upon the national interest.

MATHEMATICIAN

Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must

be numerate and understand complex algebraic

logarithms. Needed to help further my family

unit.

IT CONSULTANT

Well there is definite room for improvement in my

life. The speed of my current flows of information and

processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife

into my life is bound to improve efficiency.

Compatibility could be an issue.

BUSINESS MAN

Wife wanted for company.

POLITICIAN

I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the

ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and

to build upon past differences and short comings. I

believe that we the people need someone to share our

lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the

social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized

society..... ......... ... (etc

etc and never getting to the point)

CAR DEALER

Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife.

Should be in excellent working condition. Resale value also important!

FARMER

Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breeding.

LAWYER

I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible

candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The

person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a

girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with

evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The

girl should be willing to surrender to the service and

jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections

would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in

limited confidence as all liabilities are null and

void in the event of failure on our part of any

kind whatsoever.

PILOT

Wife required to complete my life. Please, only level

headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the

clouds, but have her feet firmly on the

ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And

she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!

BANKER

Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me

with her service.

ACCOUNTANT

Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head

for figures. She must

be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her

very nature should be

one of generating as few expenses in my life as

possible. She should profit

from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.

SHARABI

Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a

spirits factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who

drinks only when friends come round. Friends

come round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who

can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in

a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be

ample.

MINICAB DRIVER

Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm

calling from x-ud, a wife is needed to pick me

up. Driving license not necessary, but map

reading skills are a bonus.

BUILDER

Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my

life. Must be homely

and willing to build relationship from the ground up.

DOCTOR

I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my

life. However if you feel the need for a second

opinion then it's fine by me.

ARMY COMMANDO

My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife.

Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife

and a compass. She who dares

wins. Camouflage provided.

RACE CAR DRIVER

A model wife required to fit in with my fast track

life. Must be able to

keep pace!

ASTRONAUT

I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life.

Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are

out of this world

11 11 11 - Special Post

11 11 11 

How often have you noticed the numbers 11:11, 12:12, 10:10, 22:22, 12:34, 2:22, 3:33, 4:44 or 5:55 popping up all over the place? These number sequences are not necessarily only time prompts. They can also be number sequences, like 333, 1111 etc. To your mind, is this a coincidence, or are they too frequent to be random? Perhaps you are puzzled or amused by this phenomenon? Possibly even a little bit nervous? The question everyone is asking is "What does 11:11 mean?" and "Is there a reason for this?" And there certainly is.

Millions of folks all around the world are now seeing these amazing 11:11 prompts. They are folks of all colours, all religions, all beliefs. It's spreading, and becoming far more common; it's become a major phenomenon. Someone or something is causing all these folks to look at clocks, number plates, phone numbers or any source of numbers even when they make no effort themselves to look for these things. You can even change your clocks in the house, and you will still be prompted, at the "wrong" time. You can't stop it, because YOU aren't doing it. Sometimes you will even see these numbers flashing after a power outage, even though digital clocks are supposed to reset to 12:00, not 11:11 or 12:12!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45195313/ns/technology_and_science-science/t/whats-so-special-about/#.TryQBPQik5s

7 Simple Tips To Deal With Negative People

“The people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.” ~Peaceful Warrior

Tip #1: Don’t Engage in the Negativity

One thing I found is negative people tend to harp on the bad things and ignore the positive stuff. They also have a tendency to exaggerate issues they are facing, making their predicament seem a lot worse than it actually is.

The first time you converse with a negative individual, provide a listening ear and offer help if needed. Provide support – let him/her know he/she is not alone. However, be sure to draw a line somewhere. If the person keeps harping on the same problems even after the first few conversations, then it’s a sign to disengage.

For starters, try to switch topics. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, let him/her continue, but don’t engage in the negativity. Give a simple reply, such as “I see” or “Okay”. Whereas if he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. When you do it often enough, he/she will soon realize what’s going on, and will start to be more positive in his/her communication.

Tip #2: Hang Out In Groups

Speaking to a negative person can be extremely draining. When I spoke to my negative co-worker, I would be mentally drained for several hours, even though we talked for only 20-30 minutes. That was because I was on the receiving end of all her negativity.

To address this, have someone else around when conversing with the negative individual. In fact, the more people, the better. This way, the negative energy is divided between you and the other members, and you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negative energy.

The plus point of having someone else around is that people bring out a different side to an individual. By having another party around, it may bring out a more positive side in the negative person. I experienced this before and it helped me to see the “negative” individual in a different, more positive light.

Tip #3: Objectify the Comments Made

Negative people can be quite critical at times. They tend to drop insensitive comments that are hurtful, especially if they are directed at you.

For example, I once had a friend who was quite tactless. She would drop jarring comments which were dismissive and critical. Initially I was bothered by her words, wondering why she had to be so critical every time she spoke. I also wondered if there was something wrong with me – that perhaps I wasn’t good enough. However, when I observed her interactions with our common friends, I realized she did this to them too. Her comments were not personal attacks – it was just her being the way she was.

Recognize that the negative person usually means no harm – he/she is just caught up in his/her negativity. Start by learning how to deal with critical comments. Objectify the comments made – Rather than take his/her words personally, recognize that he/she is just offering a point of view. Sieve out the underlying message and see if there is anything you can learn from what he/she said.

Tip #4: Go with Lighter Topics

Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. For example, one of my friends turns into a self-victimizer whenever we talk about work. No matter what what I say, he’ll keep complaining about everything in his job, which becomes quite a conversation dampener.

If the person is deeply entrenched in his/her negativity, the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation. Bring in a new topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, hobbies, happy news, make for light conversation. Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.

Tip #5: Be Mindful of the Time You Spend With Them

As Jim Rohn puts it – “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. What this quote means is that who you spend your time with has an impact on the person you eventually become.

I find it to be very true. Think about the times you hang out with negative people – Do you feel more positive or negative after that? Same for positive people – How do you feel after spending some time with them?

Whenever I’ve an encounter with negative people, I’d often feel negative after that, like a bad aftertaste. Whereas with positive people, I’d feel extremely upbeat and exuberant. Clearly, there is a spill over effect that takes place even after the interaction! By spending more time with negative people, your thoughts and emotions will slowly become negative too. At first it might be temporary, but over time it’ll slowly become ingrained in you.

If you feel certain people in your life are negative, then be conscious of how much time you’re spending with them. I recommend to limit the duration where you can help it. For example, if they want to hang out with you but you don’t enjoy their company, learn to say no. If it’s a meeting or phone call, set a limit to how long you want it to be. Keep to the objective of the discussion, and don’t let it extend beyond that time.

Tip #6: Identify Areas You Can Make a Positive Change

Negative people are negative because they lack love, positivity and warmth. A lot of times, their negative behavior is a barrier they erect to protect themselves from the world.

One of the best ways you can help a negative individual is to usher positivity into his/her life. Think about what’s bothering the person at the moment, and think about how you can help him/her in your own way. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, and you definitely don’t have to go out of the way to help if you don’t want to. The key here is to be sincere in your desire to help, and to show him/her the upsides in life.

A while back, I had a friend who was unhappy with her job, due to the stagnating environment and culture mismatch. There was a job opportunity that arose in my (now former) workplace, so I introduced that opportunity to my friend. She eventually got the job, and she has been working there for over 3 years now, and doing very well.

Today, she’s a lot happier, forward-looking and proactive in life. She’s definitely a lot more positive than she was a few years ago. While I do not take any credit for what she has carved for herself in her career, I feel very happy knowing that I helped in a small way at the right time. Likewise, there’s always something you can do for others too – keep a look out and help where you can. Just a small act on your part may well make a huge difference in their lives.

Tip #7: Drop Them From Your Life

If all else fails, reduce contact with them or drop them from your life.

Rather than spend your time with negative people, focus on the positive people instead. In the past, I spent a lot of time with negative people, trying to help them with their issues. It drained up a lot of my energy and was often futile, which led me to rethink my methods. Ever since then, I worked on cultivating positivity by hanging out with positive friends and business partners. This has turned out to be a lot more rewarding and fruitful.

Remember that your life is yours to lead, and it’s up to you on how you want it to be. If there are negative people who make you feel bad about yourself, work on those issues with the 7 steps above. With the right actions, you can create a dramatic difference in what you get out of your relationships.