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Friday, October 28, 2016

TEN (10) GOLDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE

*TEN (10) GOLDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE:*





*TO THOSE WHO ARE MARRIED AND/OR ARE PREPARING TO GET MARRIED SOON*
1. *EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS*
Only God has no weakness. Every rose flower has its own thorn. If you focus too much on your spouse's weakness, you can't get the best out of his/her strength.
2. *EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A DARK HISTORY*
No one is an Angel, therefore, avoid digging one's past. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away. try to forgive and forget. The past can't be changed. So Focus on the present and the future!
3. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT'S OWN CHALLENGES*
Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every shinning marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proven in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!
4. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS*
Don't compare your marriage with anyone! We can never be equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.
5. *TO MARRY IS TO DECLARE A WAR*
When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, Wife battery, Laziness, Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.
6. *THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE*
There is no ready made marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a CAR with Gear oil, gear box, back hassles and If this parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and exposing the occupant to unhealthy circumstances. - Many of us are careless about our marriage... Are you? If you are, pls pay attention to your marriage.
7. *GOD CANNOT GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE PERSON YOU DESIRE*
He (God) gives you, him or her in the form of raw materials in order for you to mould what you desire. You may desire a woman who can pray for 1 hour but your wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve and vice versa.
8. *TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK*
You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situation may change, so, leave a room for adjustment. Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years. You may get marry to her because she's slim but she becomes 100% fatter after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at last.
9. *MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT, IT IS A COVENANT*
Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce
10. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY*
Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdraw. If you don't deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.
May the Lord Give us the Grace And Wisdom To Build A Heaven on Earth Marriage Amen.

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Poor Dog ! - Joke


One fine morning, a billionaire was taking a walk with his dog.
Suddenly a man ran out from the bushes in front of him and shot the poor dog three times. The dog was dead.
The billionaire screamed at the killer, "Why did you do that?".
The killer answered, "Your wife gave me $50,000 and said, "Go, kill that son-of-a-bitch"".
The billionaire hugged the killer & with tears in his eyes said...
"I don't know who your English teacher was, but I am forever grateful to her".

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Dilbert's one liners

*Dilbert's one liners:*

1. I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen. πŸ˜€πŸ˜Š
2. A friend in need is a pest indeed.
3. Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.πŸ˜πŸ˜”πŸ˜—
4. Work is fine if it doesn't take too much of your time. πŸ˜πŸ˜›
5. When everything comes in your way you're in the wrong lane. πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜
6. The light at the end of the tunnel may be an incoming train.. πŸ˜„πŸ˜ƒ
7. Born free, taxed to death. πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜€
8. Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.
9. Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first. πŸ˜™πŸ˜œ
10. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking. πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜
11. If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on yourpants. πŸŒΏπŸŒΎπŸ„πŸ˜„πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜
12. It's not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere. πŸŒ·πŸŒΏπŸŒΉ
13. I love being a writer... what I can't stand is the paperwork. πŸπŸ’πŸŒΈ
14. A printer consists of 3 main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and theblinking red light.πŸŒΈπŸ‚πŸŒ°
15. The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented theother three, he was the genius.🌹🌻🌺
16. The trouble with being punctual is that no one is there to appreciate it.
17. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills? πŸŒΈπŸ‚πŸŒΏ
18.. If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one? πŸ€πŸŒΏπŸŒΉ
19. Beat the 5 O'clock rush, leave work at noon!πŸ’πŸŒΈπŸŒ·
20. If you can't convince them, confuse them. πŸ’πŸ˜œπŸ‘
21. It's not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end. 😨🌺🌲
22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. πŸ˜œπŸ˜€πŸ˜ƒ
23. Hot glass looks same as cold glass. - Cunino's Law of Burnt Fingers
24. The cigarette does the smoking you are just the sucker. 🌺🌻🌷
25. Someday is not a day of the week
26.. Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
27. To Err is human, to forgive is not a Company policy.πŸ’ƒπŸ„
28. The road to success.... Is always under construction. πŸ’πŸƒ
29. Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk. πŸ˜–πŸ˜€
30. In order to get a Loan, you first need to prove that you don't need it.
And the Best!
31. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to someone else! πŸ˜œπŸ˜ƒ
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