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Friday, May 18, 2018

Father, Son and Explanation of System - An Awesome Joke


A Son comes home from school and tells his father : "Dad, we are learning about our system in school, but I don't think I really got it, can you explain it to me?" 

The father answers: "Sure, imagine it like this: I bring home the money, so I'm the capital. Your mom spends the money, so she is the government. Granpa, is the unions, because he checks if everything is going the right way. Anna, the girl that lives with us and cleans the house is the working class. And we are all doing it for you. You are the citizens. And your baby brother is the future." The son is a bit sceptical and says: "I think I will have to sleep a night over it."

In the middle of the night the boy is woken up by the crying of his little brother who has shit his diapers, so he goes to the parents room. There he only finds his mother and she sleeps so tight that he can't wake her up. So he goes to Anna's room where the father is having sex with the girl and the grandfather is watching through the window. He decides to go back to sleep.

The next morning at the breakfast table the father asks the son: "Have you understood what I told you?" "I think so" the son said "The capital screws the working class, the unions are watching, the government sleeps, the citizens are ignored and the future is lying in shit!"

Saturday, May 12, 2018

US HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029 !!!

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029



Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California 


White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. 


Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 



Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. 


Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. 


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. 

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica 
. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! 


Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. 


George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 



Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 



85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. 


Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. 



Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. 


Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States.


Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays. 



Massachusetts
executes last remaining conservative. 


Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. 



Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. 



New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030


IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. 


Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines. 


Now, share this with whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or very, very scared.


I Love This Country! 


It's The Government That Scares Me!
 


Wednesday, May 9, 2018

3 Wishes - Genie and Me


Genie: You have 3 wishes.

Me: I've seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way.

Genie: I promise that won't happen. I'm so sure it won't I'll give you infinite wishes if it does.

Me: Okay. I wish for a boomerang with teeth.

Genie: You son of a ........

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