An Old Man Gets An Urgent Phone Call From His Wife While Driving Home

A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home.

"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90. Please be careful!"

Herman replied, "It's not just one car. There's hundreds of them!"

A man and his Boots - Awesome Joke

A man and his Boots - Awesome Joke

A man always works 3rd shift in construction. He comes home around 3AM, climbs 3 floors to his apartment and gets in, tired from work. Due to habit he slams his left boot, then his right to get the mud and dust off. Then he carefully removes the boots, changes and falls asleep tired. Unfortunately the neighbors all hear the boot noise, and one of them asked the man to no longer do it.

The next day he comes home around 3AM, climbs 3 floors to his apartment and gets in, tired from work. Due to habit he slams his left boot, then remembered about the noise and carefully removes the right one. He then changes and falls asleep tired.

In the afternoon he meets the neighbor again, and noticed he has puffy eyes. The neighbor, very frustrated said: "we were all waiting for you to slam the other boot so we can go back to sleep!"

Three pregnant women in a bar - Joke

Three women were sitting in a bar, (brunette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The brunette says, “I know what I’m going to have.” 

The other to asked how. She replied, “Well I was on top when I conceived so I will have a baby boy”. The red head said, “If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I conceived. 

The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, “PUPPIES, PUPPIES!”.