Sri Lankans are the Best in the World !!

Mathematician: How do you write 4 in between 5?

China: Is this a Joke?
Japan: Impossible!
America: The question's wrong.
UK: Not found on the Internet.
 
Lankan:  F(IV)E

This is the reason you find Sri Lankans everywhere in the world...
in finance, business, medicine, engineering....
anything to do with using your brain.

British: Can u Swim?
Lankan: No
British:  Then a Dog is Better than you because It Swims.
Lankan: Can you Swim?
British: Yes!
Lankan: Then What's the Difference between you and the Dog…

British Shocked, Sri lankan Rocks! 👍 😜 😂 . . .

Britisher : WHY are you Sri lankans differ in colors, look we are all white..?
Lankans: Horses are in different colors but donkeys r all the same..!

Sex with the priest's wife

Sex with the priest's wife.

Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... "I'm sleeping with the priest's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?" The friend doesn't like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, 

Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he's really up to. 

Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest... "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."

The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob's shoulder and says... "You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago".

*BITCOIN* - A Monkey story

A lot of monkeys lived near a village.🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒

One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys!🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵

He announced that he will buy the monkeys @ $100 each. 🐵💵

The villagers thought that this man is mad.😇

They thought how can somebody buy stray monkeys at $100 each?🤔

Still, some people caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave $100 for each monkey. 😬

This news spread like wildfire and people caught monkeys and sold it to the merchant.😬

After a few days, the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys @ 200 each. 🐵💵💵

The lazy villagers also ran around to catch the remaining monkeys!🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒

They sold the remaining monkeys @ 200 each.😋

Then the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys @ 500 each!
😮💵💵💵💵💵

The villagers start to lose sleep! ... They caught six or seven monkeys, which was all that was left and got 500 each.🙊🐵🐵🐵🐵🐵🐒

The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement.🙄

Then the merchant announced that he is going home for a week.  And when he returns, he will buy monkeys @ 1000 each!🐵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵

He asked his employee to take care of the monkeys he bought.  He was alone taking care of all the monkeys in a cage.🤠🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒

The merchant went home.😎

The villagers were very sad as there were no more monkeys left for them to sell it at $1000 each.☹️😞😓

Then the employee told them that he will sell some monkeys @ 700 each secretly. 😶

This news spread like fire.  Since the merchant buys monkey @ 1000 each, there is a 300 profit for each monkey.😬

The next day, villagers made a queue near the monkey cage.🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐵🐒🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑

The employee sold all the monkeys at 700 each.  The rich bought monkeys in big lots.  The poor borrowed money from money lenders and also bought monkeys!
🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒🐒💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵

The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return. 😕

But nobody came! ...😤 Then they ran to the employee...🤠

But he has already left too !😉

The villagers then realised that they have bought the useless stray monkeys @ 700 each and unable to sell them! 😩😫😨😰😭😭😭😭😭😭
The Bitcoin will be the next monkey business
😜

It will make a lot of people bankrupt and a few people filthy rich in this monkey business. 🐒😉😅

That' how it will work🤣

WHY MEN ARE SO HONEST - New Version Story

*WHY MEN ARE SO HONEST*

New Version Story 

If you are female and reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if male, then feel proud after reading it!

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, *"Why are you crying?"*

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water and he needed it to make a living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a *Golden Axe*. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied: *"No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a Silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied: "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an Iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied: *"Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all 3 Axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him: "Why are you crying?"

*"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Deepika Padukone.

"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. 
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" 
The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'NO' to  Deepika padukone , you would have come up with KATRINA. Then if I said 'NO' to her, you would have come up with *MY WIFE*. Had I then said 'YES,' you would have given me all 3.*
Lord, I'm a poor man, & not able to take care of 3 wives, so THAT'S why I said YES to Deepika."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a *good and honorable reason and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it

*MEN ARE TRULY HONORABLE!*
😜😋😝😀😄😜😋😝😃

Miss Universe 2017: 5 Things to Know about Miss South Africa Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters

1. Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters is the second South African to win the title of Miss Universe since the pageant's inception in 1956: Back in 1978, Margaret Gardiner was Miss South Africa when she won the Miss Universe crown. Nel-Peters brought home another shiny accessory and a whole bunch of pride for the bottom tip of the African continent.

2. Her self-defense platform is rooted in personal experience: Nel-Peters herself was "hijacked and held at gunpoint" a month after winning the Miss South Africa title. This harrowing experience led her to found a self-defense campaign called Unbreakable. The campaign is all about equipping women with knowledge and skills to empower themselves so they can avoid a similar situation.

3. In her limited free-time, she loves playing golf: She often posts Instagram pictures of videos of her various workouts, but turns out, this royal loves the calming game out on the green best of all.

4. She's a recent college graduate: Nel-Peters earned a business degree from South Africa's North West University before coming to Las Vegas to compete.

5. Her biggest motivator in life is her 10-year-old half-sister Franje: She said, "My half-sister was born without a cerebellum and is completely disabled. She is my biggest motivator and inspiration, because her situation makes me realize how special life is and I always want to work twice as hard, enjoy life twice as much so that I can enjoy it for her as well. Therefore each experience I encounter is that much more special."

Congrats to the new Miss Universe! We hope she continues on using her crown to empower more women to stand up for themselves and go after their dreams.

Source : http://www.eonline.com

A Collection of Strangeness

A Collection of Strangeness

• When Leo Tolstoy and his brother were children, they created a club with a peculiar, almost impossible initiation ceremony. In order to become a member, one had to stand in a corner for a half an hour and not think of anything white.
• Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of the blue whale
• Mrs. Caroline Squires of Cincinnati filed for a divorce from her husband in 1949 on grounds of desertion. She testified he'd stepped out "for a beer" on the Fourth of July, 1917, and had never come back.
• The French national anthem, "La Marseillaise," derived its title from the enthusiasm of the men of Marseilles, France, who sang it when they marched into Paris at the outset of the French Revolution. Rouget de l'Isle, its composer, was an artillery officer. According to his account, he fell asleep at a harpsichord and dreamt the words and the music. Upon waking, he remembered the entire piece from his dream and immediately wrote it down.
• Most elephants weigh less than the tongue of the blue whale
• A law passed in Nebraska in 1912 really set down some hard rules of the road. Drivers in the country at night were required to stop every 150 yards, send up a skyrocket, then wait eight minutes for the road to clear before proceeding cautiously, all the while blowing their horn and shooting off flares..
• Birds do not sleep in their nests. They may occasionally nap in them, but they actually sleep in other places.
• The formula for cold cream has hardly changed at all in the 1,700 years since it was originally made by the Roman physician Galen.
• George Lumley, aged 104, married Mary Dunning, aged 10, in Nortallerton, England on August 25, 1783. She was the great-great granddaughter of the woman who'd broken her engagement to Lumley, eighty years before.
• Caesar salad has nothing to do with any of the Caesars. It was first concocted in a bar in Tiajuana, Mexico on July 4, 1924 by Caesar Cardini (born Cesare) (1896-1956), an Italian hotel owner, restaurateur and chef.
• Objects weigh slightly less at the equator than at the poles.
  If the Earth was a non-rotating sphere, it would show equal gravitational values (values of g) at any point on its surface. However, the Earth is not spherical but elliptical, with a greater radius at the equator than at the poles. As a result, one might expect gravitational readings to be lower at the equator than at the poles. And, because the Earth is rotating, there is a tendency for objects to be thrown away from the Earth. This tendency is greatest at the equator and zero at the poles, reducing the gravitational attraction.
• Crocodiles and alligators are surprisingly fast on land. Although they are rapid, they are not agile; so if you ever find yourself chased by one, run in a zigzag line. You'll lose him or her every time.
• After Albert Einstein had been at Princeton for some months, local news hounds discovered that a twelve-year-old girl happened to stop by the Einstein home almost every afternoon. The girl's mother hadn't thought to ask Einstein about the situation until the newspapers reported it, but when she got the opportunity after that she did so. What could her daughter and Einstein have in common that they spent so much time together? Einstein replied simply, "She brings me cookies and I do her arithmetic homework."
• When the French Academy was preparing its first dictionary, it defined "crab" as, "A small red fish which walks backwards." This definition was sent with a number of others to the naturalist Cuvier for his approval. The scientist wrote back, "Your definition, gentlemen, would be perfect, only for three exceptions. The crab is not a fish, it is not red and it does not walk backwards."

Who says Men are not important?

1. You can't spell Madam without the Adam in it

2. Neither can you spell Woman without the Man

3. You also cannot spell Female without the Male

4. Not spell She without the He

5. You most definitely cannot spell Mrs without the Mr...

6. ... and finally, in prayers, we continue to say Amen and not A-women

This is to all the wonderful men who rise up to their responsibilities daily...

*Dedicated to All Wonderful MEN*

THE 50 GREATEST EVER QUOTES ABOUT LIONEL MESSI 

Whether which club you support, you can't deny Lionel Messi is one the greatest soccer player ever.

From Pep Guardiola to Diego Armando Maradona or Real Madrid legend Zinedine Zidane, here are 50 great quotes that define well what type of soccer player Lionel Messi is:

1) "They tell me that all men are equal in God’s eyes, this player makes you seriously think about those words." - soccer commentator Ray Hudson

2) "I have never seen anyone like Leo Messi. He is a miracle from God! I like it when he does his things on the field. It's not jealousy - I feel good, for instance, when he nutmegs someone." - Arda Turan

3) "Is Messi a real player or a PlayStation character?" - Radamel Falcao

4) "I like Messi a lot, he’s a great player. Technically, we’re practically at the same level." - Pele

5) "Once they said they can only stop me with a pistol. Today you need a machine gun to stop Messi." - Hristo Stoichkov

6) "Messi is the Mozart of soccer." - Radomir Antic

7) "It is clear that Messi is on a level above all others. Those who do not see that are blind." - Xavi

8) "For me, to watch Messi play is a pleasure – it’s like having an orgasm – it’s an incredible pleasure." - Luis Figo

9) "Barca will never have a player like Messi again. Messi’s greatness is present on and off the field of play." - ex-Barcelona president Sandro Rosell

10) "This Barca will be remembered as Messi’s Barca. He’s well above anything else I’ve ever seen. He’s an alien." - Carles Puyol

11) "Messi is the best in the world without any doubt and for me the history of soccer." Luis Enrique

12) "Messi is God, as a person and even more as a player. I knew him when he was a boy and I’ve watched him grow. He deserves it all." - Samuel Eto'o

13) "Although he may not be human, it’s good that Messi still thinks he is." - Javier Mascherano

14) "Newton and Einstein had a certain level of autism - I hope that, like them, Messi surpasses himself every day and continues to give us his beautiful brand of soccer." - Romario

15) "Life with Leo is prettier, of another colour." - Barcelona president Josep Maria Bartomeu

16) "There are three or four important things in life: books, friends, women… and Messi." - Portuguese writer Antonio Lobo Antunes

17) "Seeing Messi play is like watching a video game… What Messi does on a soccer field is simply unthinkable… The way he walks from side to side, and once he sees an opportunity, he simply creates magic." - tennis superstar Victoria Azarenka

18) "He is an anomaly. The rest will have to wait until he falls off a little bit.” - Edgar Davids

19) "At this point I’m starting to believe that Messi is tightly related to Clark Kent." - Bar Rafaeli

20) "Messi is class. There is him, and then there is the rest. What he does is extraordinary." - Franck Ribery

21) "We give him the ball and stand back and watch. People often say to me they saw Pele and Maradona play. In the future, I will be able to say I saw Messi play." - Thiago Alcantara

22) "He is always going forwards. He never passes the ball backwards or sideways. He has only one idea, to run towards the goal. So as a soccer fan, just enjoy the show." - Zinedine Zidane

23) "He sees passes that most people can only see whilst watching the game on TV, not ones that you can normally see on the pitch." - Tata Martino

24) "He does not really seem human to me." - Luis Enrique

25) "For the world of soccer, Messi is a treasure because he is a role model for children around the world… Messi will be the player to win the most Ballons d’Or in history. He will win five, six, seven. He is incomparable. He’s in a different league." - Johan Cruyff

26) "I have played against Platini, Maradona, Cruyff and played with George Best — a lot of big names, but none of them has been able to do what Messi does. Two years ago I said that the best player I played against was Maradona and the best player I have played with was Bestie. But I can now say I have never seen a player as good as Messi. He’s in a league of his own." - Former Tottenham star Gerry Armstrong

27) "Who’s better, Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo? Messi. Ronaldo is good, but Messi is 10 times better." - Klaas-Jan Huntelaar

28) "Diego [Maradona] filled us with emotions. But between the cracks, without doubt, Messi is better than Maradona." - Diego Simeone

29) "There is no doubt, you’re from another galaxy. Thanks Leo." - Maxi Rodriguez

30) "Who is the Best Player in the World? Leo Messi. Who is the Best Player Ever? Leo Messi." - Arsene Wenger

31) "I have seen the player who will inherit my place in Argentine soccer and his name is Messi. Messi is a genius." - Diego Maradona

32) "Messi does not need his right foot. He only uses the left and he’s still the best in the world. Imagine if he also used his right foot, Then we would have serious problems." - Zlatan Ibrahimovic

33) "Fella’s a genius. Best ever by a distance in my life time. Never really saw Pele… Souness, Gullit, Venables and now Rooney agree Messi is the best they have seen. He plays a game with which we are not familiar." - Gary Lineker

34) "I played with Romario, Rivaldo, Ronaldo, Laudrup and Stoichkov but Messi is the best I’ve seen." - Albert Ferrer

35) "It feels good to be in the same generation as him. I believe he’s the best player in the history of the sport." - Gerard Pique

36) "Messi defies the laws of anatomy, he must have an extra bone in his ankle." - Carlos Bilardo

37) "Lionel Messi is quite clearly the best player ever. It’s a pleasure to pit myself against him and when I finish my career it’s something I can look back on and know I’ve tested myself against the very best." - John Terry

38) "In my entire life I have never seen a player of such quality and personality at such a young age, particularly wearing the ‘heavy’ shirt of one of the world’s great clubs... Before a game, you can plan for everything. But Messi can produce a move that no-one expects and change the game in an instant." - Fabio Capello

39) "Messi is better than Maradona; he is more complete, more consistent, more spectacular. He is reinventing the game – a mix of the real and the virtual." - Tostão

40) "I am not crazy enough to compare myself with Messi because he is the best there ever was and the best there will ever be." - Mario Gomez

41) "I was a big fan of Maradona growing up and of the current crop Ronaldo is good but Messi is the best I’ve ever seen. I don’t dish out praise lightly but Messi deserves it. I look for weaknesses in his game and I can’t find them." - Roy Keane

42) "Messi is the best player ever. And this is said by someone who has seen Maradona and Pele play." - AC Milan chief Adriano Galliani

43) "He is the best in the world. soccer seems easy when he plays it." - Bacary Sagna

44) "I wear the number 10 Jersey for the US National Team in honour of the Greatest athlete I have ever seen: Messi." - Kobe Bryant

45) "The only bad thing about Ronaldo’s life is Messi. If it was not for him, Ronaldo would be the best player in the world for five years in a row." - Felipe Scolari

46) "I can’t believe anyone can have played the game of soccer as well as Messi." - Michael Owen

47) "Messi is a genius. He has everything. When I watch him, I see a player who is very, very, skilful, very clever and his left foot is like Diego Maradona’s." - Franz Beckenbauer

48) "Messi or Cristiano? Cristiano Ronaldo is very good, but I prefer Messi. He’s incredible." - Gheorghe Hagi

49) "Comparing CR7 to Messi is an exercise of ignorance in soccer. Messi is Messi and others, soccerers." - Spanish manager Miguel Angel Lotina

50) "The other day I saw one of his games. He was running with the ball at a hundred per cent full speed, I don’t know how many touches he took, maybe five or six, but the ball was glued to his foot. It’s practically impossible." - Real Madrid legend Raul

Bonus: "Don't write about him, don't try to describe him. Just watch him." - Pep Guardiola

Ok then, Pep.