Custom Search

Wednesday, July 19, 2017

What's up Whatsapp :)

What's up Whatsapp :)



Economics is not that difficult if we have the *Right Examples*.

*Interviewer*: What is Recession? 

*Candidate*: When *Wine & Women* get replaced by *Water & Wife*, 
that critical phase of life is called *Recession*!!😜

*Accountancy fact*:

What is the difference between *Liability* & *Asset*?

A *drunk friend* is *liability*...

But

A *drunk Girlfriend* is an *Asset*....
😜😜😜😜😜

*Law of equality* πŸ’ 

The time taken by a wife when she says *I'll get ready in 5 min* is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says *'I'll call u in 5 min*!πŸ“žπŸ“±
😜😜😜😜
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰

I arguedπŸ‘Ώ... She arguedπŸ‘Ώ...

I shouted😑... She shouted😑 and then she cried😭

*Result*: She won by *duckworth lewis* method😱
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
*Chess* is the only game in the world,
which reflects the status of the *husband*.

This *poor king* can take only *one step at a time* ...

While the *mighty queen can do whatever she likes*....
-------------πŸ™‹πŸ™†πŸ’πŸ™…
〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰〰
All Men are Brave...

Horror Movies don't Scare them....

But *5 Missed Calls from Wife* ..surely does...😝😝😝

One Smart Guy Invented
*WhatsApp*

His Wife Added a feature in it called
*Last Seen At*'πŸ˜œπŸ‘Œ

Thank god she didnt add
*Last Seen With*
πŸ˜‰πŸ˜πŸ˜--------------------------------------------------------------
Punch Of D Day ....
✨✨πŸ‘ŠπŸ‘Š✨✨

Once A Man Asked
God....

Why All Girls Are So *Cute & Sweet*, And All Wives Are *Always Angry*????

*God Answered*: Girls Are Made By Me ... And *You make them Wives*..!!!

*Your Problem*.. !!! πŸ˜‰
😝

*What's Marriage*?

*Answer* - MARRIAGE Is The *7th Sense Of Humans*
That *Destroys* All The *Six Senses*
And Makes The Person *NON Sense*..!

😜😜😝😝😜😜😝😝

Definition Of *Happy Couple* -

HE Does What *SHE Wants*…

*SHE Does What SHE Wants*......

😜😝😜😝😜😝😜😝

*Wife*: Dear, this computer is not working *as per my command*.

*Husband*: Exactly darling! its a computer, *Not a Husband*...!!

😜😝😜😝😜😝😜😝

'Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life."
- *Shakespear*...

"Laughing At ur Wife's Mistakes, Can Shorten ur Life."

- *Shakespear's Wife*

😜😝😜😝😜😝😜

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Facebook Facebook - Beware

Facebook Facebook - Beware 



Police Questioning a Robber:_
Police: How did you come to know that there was no one in the house?
Robber:The update of the entire family with 15 photos was available on facebook. 
"Enjoying Holidays away from home for one week".

Think about this seriously.
Be careful what you put on facebook.
Discuss this with your children and realtives.

Stop sharing personal information on the social media!!!

πŸ“› Don't advertise your happiness on social media.
πŸ“› Don't advertise your happy marriage On social media.
πŸ“› Don't advertise your holidays on social media.
πŸ“› Don't advertise your kids achievements on social media.
πŸ“› Don't advertise your pregnancy on social media.
πŸ“› Don't advertise your expensive buys on social media. (Car, house etc).

‼ No one is going to be happy for you.
‼ All the "nice" comments you get are just fake.
‼ You just attracting the evil eye on you and your family.
‼ You are just attracting jealous people into your life.
‼ You don't know who's saving your pictures, & checking your updates.
‼ You really need to stop this, as it is going to ruin your life, family, marriage.
‼ Social media is the devil's eyes,  ears & mouth.
Don't fall into the devil's trap.
May God help us, and  save us from social media disaster !!!
*

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Phone Bill - A damn Good joke

Phone Bill - A damn Good joke  

πŸ‘‡


The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss.

Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use home phone, I use my work phone.

Mum: Me too. I hardly use home phone. I use my companies phone

Son: I use my office mobile, I never use the home phone.

All of them shocked and together looked at the maid who's patiently listening to them.

Maid: "What? So we all use our work phones. What's the Big deal??
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜†

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

37 Rules all Men Must Know...

You don’t have to agree with these rules but these are all characteristics of a good man.



  1. Know what you want. Don’t go around asking for approval.
  2. Always love and respect your parents.
  3. Never cheat on your girlfriend/wife.
  4. On the bus always give up your seat to the elderly, pregnant women, and mothers with their kids.
  5. Don’t lend money to your family. Give it.
  6. Don’t put others down.
  7. Don’t participate in gossip.
  8. Exercise.
  9. At the gym wear nice clothes. You will interact with a lot of different kinds of professionals there and first impressions are everything.
  10. Don’t ever take selfies.
  11. In emails and texts don’t use short form.
  12. No matter how mad you may be at your family, keep it in the family.
  13. Don’t brag.
  14. Listen. Girls like to talk about themselves.
  15. Never use the term: “Shit happens.” Put in more efforts into comforting that person.
  16. If talking to someone you don’t want to, make a polite excuse and leave.
  17. Never talk religion with anyone. Keep it to yourself.
  18. Don’t follow others.
  19. Don’t waste your life away being on your phone and computer all the time.
  20. When making plans, call. Don’t text.
  21. Know how to fix things around the house.
  22. Don’t be intimidated by anyone.
  23. Know how to fight.
  24. Have hobbies.
  25. Don’t be afraid to go and watch a movie alone.
  26. Learn to be patient and relaxed.
  27. Never stop learning new skills.
  28. Read books and keep the mind fresh.
  29. Read the newspaper.
  30. You don’t need a reason to buy your mom flowers.
  31. Never split the check. Always pay it.
  32. Play chess at least twice a week. Keeps the mind super fresh.
  33. Buy your mom flowers for no reason.
  34. Own a pair of expensive sunglasses, gloves and nice scarf.
  35. Own at least two nice watches.
  36. Use a money clip. Not a wallet.
  37. Don’t buy things you can’t afford.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Champions Trophy 2017 - Truly a SEXY tournament




This Champions Trophy has truly been unique. 
Australia has a guy named Cumming!
Bangladesh has a guy named Mossdicka!
England has a guy named Balls!
India has a guy named Hardick!
New Zealand has a guy named Raunchy!
Pakistan has a guy named Fakkar!
South Africa has a guy named Kock!
Sri Lanka has a guy named Dickwala!


No wonder its been a sexy tournament so far and rightly so on Sunday we get to witness an epic climax of Hardick-Fakkar!

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Men Will Be Men !!!


One day a woman wanted to know how the husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. 
So she decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore and after writing she put the letter on the table in the bedroom and then hid under the bed...
When the husband came back home, saw the letter and read it, he replied on the same paper and then began to sing and dance changing his clothes. He got his phone, dialled someone then said: "Hey babe, am just changing clothes then will join you, as for the other fool it has finally dawned on her that I was fooling around with her and has left. I was wrong..really wrong to have married her, I wish I had known you earlier. See you soon honey!" The husband walked out of the room and left. In tears and very upset, the woman got up from under the bed and decided to go and read what the husband wrote on the letter. 
When she got the letter, it said: "I COULD see your feet under the bed, I didn't make any phone call.. I am going to buy bread. Stand up, stop your silly games and prepare me a meal....

I LOVE YOU!"


Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Top 5 BANNED Commercials in India

Top 5 BANNED Commercials in India

These are the top 5 commercials that were BANNED from Indian television by the Censor Board. Enjoy!


Saturday, June 3, 2017

17 Of The Greatest One-Line Jokes.

17 Of The Greatest One-Line Jokes



  1. A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps.
  2. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
  3. I removed the shell from my racing snail to make him go faster, but if anything it made him more sluggish.
  4. Alcoholics don’t run in my family — they mostly stumble around and bump into things.
  5. A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks, “some asshole has my pen.”
  6. “I have an L-shaped couch… Lower case.”
  7. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
  8. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.
  9. What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?
  10. My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn’t actually say that, but I could tell it was what the snide bastard was thinking.
  11. Saw this somewhere: If your parachute doesn’t open, don’t panic; you have the rest of your life to fix it!
  12. Saw a sign outside of an office building which said:”Today’s workshop ‘How To Cope With Disappointment’ has been cancelled.”
  13. What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?
  14. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was, and then it dawned on me.
  15. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ mean the same thing, except when at a funeral.
  16. My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
  17. “Yes, I have reservations… but I’ll eat here anyway”

Thursday, June 1, 2017

Best BANNED Commercials of All Time - Video Compilation

Best BANNED Commercials of All Time


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Life's Instructions for happy and successful life


  1. Have a firm handshake.
  2. Look people in the eye.
  3. Sing in the shower.
  4. Own a great stereo system.
  5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.
  6. Keep secrets.
  7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
  8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
  9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
  10. Whistle.
  11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
  12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
  13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
  14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
  15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
  16. When playing games with ! children, let them win.
  17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.
  18. Be romantic.
  19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
  20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
  21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
  22. Be a good loser.
  23. Be a good winner.
  24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
  25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
  26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
  27. Keep it simple.
  28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
  29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
  30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets
  31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the
  32. things you didn't do more than the one's you did.
  33. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
  34. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
  35. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
  36. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
  37. Begin each day with some of your favorite music.
  38. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
  39. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'
  40. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
  41. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.
  42. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
  43. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
  44. Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.
  45. Become someone's hero.
  46. Marry only for love.
  47. Count your blessings.
  48. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.
  49. Wave at the children on a school bus.
  50. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
  51. Don't expect life to be fair.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Melania Trump swatting Donald's hand away

Melania Trump swatting Donald's hand away

First Lady Melania Trump swatting away president Donald Trump's hand on the tarmac in Israel


Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Collapse and Cheating !!!

A University professor  wrote an expressive message to his students at the doctorate, masters and bachelors levels and placed it at the entrance in a university in South Africa.
And this is the message;



*"Collapsing any nation does not require use of atomic bombs or the use of long range missiles.*
*It only requires lowering the quality of education and allowing cheating in the examinations by the students".*
The patient dies in the hands of the doctor who passed his exams through *cheating.*
And the buildings collapse in the hands of an engineer who passed his exams through *cheating.*
And the money is lost in the hands of an accountant who passed his exams through *cheating.*
And humanity dies in the hands of a religious scholar who passed his exams through *cheating.*
And justice is lost in the hands of a judge who passed his exams through *cheating.*
And ignorance is rampant in the minds of children who are under the care of a teacher who passed exams through *cheating.*
*"The collapse of education is the collapse of the nation"*

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

A letter to Sun


😩 42°+ temperature in many places.... 
Some one wrote to Sun...

Dear Sun,
Please go to settings, display and brightness and please lower your brightness! 
Please, its too hot to handle!


🌞 Sun's reply...

I have not changed any settings. Please go to your settings and...
1. Increase number of trees...
2. Reduce carbon emissions levels...
3. Reduce concrete jungles...
4. Increase number of lakes...
Basically, switch to
"Human Mode"
from auto mode...!!!

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Killer English.

Killer English...


πŸ˜€Plz forgive me if u die laughingπŸ˜€

This is an actual letter taken from the Times of India in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement:

Madam,
I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna. I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.
I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna. I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School, Bezna Road.
I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.
I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing.
I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.

πŸ’RIP ENGLISHπŸ™

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Seven Superb Sentences.....

Seven Superb Sentences.....



         *Shakespeare*
Never  play  with the feelings   of  others, because  you may win the game,.. but the risk is that you will surely  lose the person for a  life time.

           *Napoleon*
The world suffers a lot, not because of the violence of bad people, but because  of the silence of good people!

            *Einstein*
I am thankful to all those who said NO to me, as it's because of them I did it myself.

      *Abraham Lincoln*
If friendship is your weakest point, then, you are the strongest person in the world.

       *Shakespeare*
Laughing faces do not mean that  there is absence of sorrow!,... but it means that they  have the ability to deal with it.

      *William  Arthur*
Opportunities are like Sunrises, if you wait far too long you can miss them.

            *Hitler*
When you are in the light, everything follows you,...but when you enter into the dark,...even your own shadow leaves you.

                       ❤☮🎢

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Two beggars in London - An Awesome Joke

Two beggars in London


Ali and Habib are beggars.
They beg in different areas of London ...
Habib begs just as long as Ali does,  but only collects £2 to £3 every day.
Ali brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.
Habib asks Ali :-
'I work just as long and hard as you do but how is it that you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'
Ali says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?
Habib's sign reads
'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.
Ali  says No wonder you only get £2- £3
Habib says... 'So what does your sign say'?
Ali shows Habib his sign....
It reads,
'I only need another £10 to move back to Pakistan'.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Useless Facts



  1. Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
  2. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
  3. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses.
  4. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.
  5. The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing.
  6. shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.
  7. There are more chickens than people in the world (at least before that chicken-flu thing).
  8. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in New Jersey.
  9. The longest one-syllable word in the English language is “screeched.”
  10. All of the clocks in the movie Pulp Fiction are stuck on 4:20.
  11. No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.
  12. “Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.
  13. All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.
  14. Almonds are members of the peach family.
  15. Winston Churchill was born in a ladies’ room during a dance.
  16. Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.
  17. There are only four words in the English language which end in “dous”: tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.
  18. Los Angeles’s full name is “El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciuncula”. And can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size, “L.A.”
  19. cat has 32 muscles in each ear.
  20. An ostrich’s eye is bigger than it’s brain.
  21. Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.
  22. In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.
  23. Al Capone’s business card said he was a used furniture dealer.
  24. The only real person to be a Pez head was Betsy Ross.
  25. When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers plays football at home, the stadium becomes the state’s third largest city.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Religious or Scientific - An Indian Mystery



"Mom, I am a genetic scientist. I am working in the US on the evolution of man. Theory of evolution, Charles Darwin, have you heard of him? " Vasu asked.

His Mother sat down next to him and smiled, "I know about Darwin, Vasu. "But Have you heard of Dashavatar? The ten avatars of Vishnu?" 

Vasu replied in no.

"Then let me tell you what you and Mr. Darwin don't know.
Listen carefully- 

The first avatar was the Matsya avatar, it means the fish. That is because life began in the water. Is that not right?" Vasu began to listen with a little more attention.

"Then came the Kurma Avatar, which means the tortoise, because life moved from the water to the land. The amphibian. So the Tortoise denoted the evolution from sea to land.

Third was the Varaha, the wild boar, which meant the wild animals with not much intellect, you call them the Dinosaurs, correct? " Vasu nodded wide eyed.

"The fourth avatar was the Narasimha avatar, half man and half animal, the evolution from wild animals to intelligent beings.

Fifth the Waman avatar, the midget or dwarf, who could grow really tall. Do you know why that is? Cause there were two kinds of humans, Homo Erectus and the Homo Sapiens and Homo Sapiens won that battle." Vasu could see that his Mother was in full flow and he was stupefied.

"The Sixth avatar was Parshuram, the man who wielded the axe, the man who was a cave and forest dweller. Angry, and not social.

The seventh avatar was Ram, the first thinking social being, who laid out the laws of society and the basis of all relationships.

The Eighth avatar was Balarama, a true farmer showed  value of agriculture in the life

The Ninth avatar was Krishna, the statesman, the politician, the lover who played the game of society and taught how to live and thrive in the social structure.

And finally, my boy, will come Kalki, the man you are working on. The man who will be genetically supreme."

Vasu looked at his Mother speechless. "This is amazing Mom, how did you.. This makes sense!"

"Yes it does Vasu! We Indians knew some amazing things just didnt know how to pass it on scientifically. So made them into mythological stories.  Mythology makes sense. Its just the way you look at it - Religious or Scientific. Your call

Monday, April 3, 2017

Who is your idol ??? Check this out

smiley !
Who has the qualities you wish you had ?
1) Pick your Favorite number between 1-9
2) Multiply by 3 then
3) Add 3, then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator....)
4) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....
5) Add the digits together
Now Scroll down ...
Now with that number see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below :
1. Einstein
2. Nelson Mandela
3. Jacob Zuma
4. Tom Cruise
5. Bill Gates
6. Gandhi
7. Brad Pitt
8. DalaΓ― Lama
9. PIFFE
10. Barack Obama
I know....PIFFE just has that effect on people....

Now change the name on number 9 and send it to all your friends!

Author unknown

Sunday, April 2, 2017

5 surprising benefits of going braless


If there is one thing that almost every woman will agree on it is this: There is nothing quite so freeing as that moment when you slip off your bra at the end of a long day. Even a good bra will pinch, tug and chafe as the day goes on, so is it really any wonder that it feels so good to cast it off and set the ladies free?
If you've ever wondered what it might feel like to go completely braless for a day, why not give it a try on Oct. 13 — a day officially recognized as National No Bra Day? The basic premise is that it is a day set aside to raise awareness about breast cancer (though no reputable cancer organizations claim an association with it) and remind women it's time to take a closer look at what's happening inside their undergarments.
Need more good reasons to go braless? Here are five:
1. Bras do nothing for your boobs. If you're like me, you might be under the impression that wearing a bra may keep your boobs from sagging over time. In fact, the opposite is true. In a study at France's University of Franche-ComtΓ©, professor Jean-Denis Rouillon found that breast muscle tissue was stronger in women who did not wear a bra. The same study, which tracked women over a 15-year-period, found that bras don't actually do anything to improve the overall health or appearance of your boobs.
2. Going braless improves circulation. It's kind of a no-brainer that when you remove your bra — and thereby remove the constricting band encircling your chest — your circulation will improve. Better circulation equates to healthier and firmer skin, and who couldn't use a little bit more of that?
3. Your boobs will be "perkier." Rouillon's study found that the nipples of women who went braless were an average of 7 millimeters higher than those of the women who did wear bras. Higher nipples = perkier boobs.
4. It just feels better. Why not enjoy that end-of-the day comfort all day long by skipping the bra, even if just for one day? If you're worried about how it will look, try wearing a top with a built-in shelf bra to get the benefits of support without the constriction of a bra.
5. Going braless gives you a chance to check things out. Ditching the bra for one day will give you a better opportunity to get up close and personal with your boobs in a way that you would not if they were ensconced in fabric. Now is a good time to do that breast self-exam you keep forgetting about and to make that mammogram appointment you've been meaning to schedule all year.

Friday, March 31, 2017

22 of the Very best Quotes of All time


  1. “Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.” – Mark Twain
  2. “I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.” – Abraham Lincoln
  3. “There are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.” – Bill Hicks
  4. “No one is saying that you’ve broken any laws, Mr. President… We’re just saying it’s a little weird that you didn’t have to.” – John Oliver on PRISM
  5. “When Students cheat on exams it’s because our school system values grades more than students value learning.” – Neil Degrasse Tyson
  6. “We ask 18-year-olds to make huge decisions about their career and financial future, when a month ago they had to ask to go to the bathroom.” – Adam Kotsko
  7. “Human nature is like water. It takes the shape of its container.” – Wallace Stevens
  8. “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye hard.” – Winnie the Pooh
  9. “In war, the strong make slaves of the weak, and in peace the rich makes slaves of the poor.” – Oscar Wilde
  10. “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
  11. “Danger seems terrible from a distance; it is not so bad if you have a close look at it.” – Abhishek Vicky
  12. “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss
  13. “The most important things are the hardest to say because words diminish them.” – Stephen King
  14. “You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.” – Tina Fey
  15. “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” – Dumbledore
  16. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates
  17. “Chop your own wood, and it will warm you twice.” – Henry Ford
  18. “You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” – Buddha
  19. “You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.” – Zen adage
  20. “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.” – Raylan Givens
  21. “Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” – Lao Tzu
  22. “Of all sad words of mouth or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been.” – John Greenleaf Whittier


Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Amazing Craft - One man, 100,000 toothpicks, and 35 years: An incredible kinetic sculpture of San Francisco

Thirty five years ago I had yet to be born, but artist Scott Weaver had already begun work on this insanely complex kinetic sculpture, Rolling through the Bay, that he continues to modify and expand even today. The elaborate sculpture is comprised of multiple “tours” that move pingpong balls through neighborhoods, historical locations, and iconic symbols of San Francisco, all recreated with a little glue, some toothpicks, and an incredible amount of ingenuity. He admits in the video that there are several toothpick sculptures even larger than his, but none has the unique kinetic components he’s constructed. Via his website Weaver estimates he’s spent over 3,000 hours on the project, and the toothpicks have been sourced from around the world:
I have used different brands of toothpicks depending on what I am building. I also have many friends and family members that collect toothpicks in their travels for me. For example, some of the trees in Golden Gate Park are made from toothpicks from Kenya, Morocco, Spain, West Germany and Italy. The heart inside the Palace of Fine Arts is made out of toothpicks people threw at our wedding.






Tuesday, March 28, 2017

Bank Manager at a South Indian restaurant - Joke


Bank Manager  goes to a south Indian restaurant.
He asks the waiter - What have you got?

Waiter - Idly , vada, uppma, pongal, dosa , poori, parotta, naan, oothappam, idiyappam..

Banker - OK ok..bring idly, vada, and dosa. And 2 oothappam for parcel..

Waiter - Sorry sir...all sold out. Nothing is left.

Banker - Why then the hell you recited such a big menu ?

Waiter - Sir ,  I go  to your ATM daily. After asking for  PIN , Account details, Amount required , whether printed receipt required  etc.,
It finally says ' 'No Cash'.....

Now you know how it feels when that happens!!!!!            

πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Monday, March 27, 2017

Horse and a Goat - Joke with a Corporate Lesson

There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat…..


One day, the horse became very ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: "Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him to sleep."
Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.
The next day, the Vet gave him the medicine and left.
The goat approached the horse and said:
"Be strong, friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!"
On the second day,  the doc again gave him the medicine and left.
The goat came back and said: - "Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up".

Let's go! One, two, three... but the poor horse wouldn't get up!
On the third day, the Vet gave one look at the horse and said:
"Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses."

After they left, the goat approached the horse and said: "Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on...... Fantastic! Run, run more!
Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!"

All of a sudden, the owner came back to the farm, saw the horse running on the field ... he was not aware of goats role in this. He began shouting: "It's a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a Grand celebration...
Let's cook the goat!!!!"

Corporate Lesson:
'Whatever you do, always mark a Cc to your boss'.πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Too Old to have a Baby - Cartoon

Too Old to have a Baby - Cartoon


Monday, March 20, 2017

Pregnancy Test - Joke

Pregnancy Test


A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work just jumping for joy. He didn't know why she was jumping for joy but thought, what the heck, and started jumping up and down with her.

She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"

He said, "Great, tell me what you're so happy about!"

She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, when she told him that she was pregnant!

He kissed her and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"

Then, she said, "Oh, honey, there's more!"

He asked, "What do you mean, 'more?'"

She said, "Well, we are not having just one baby, we are going to have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, he asked her how she knew.

She said, "Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out positive!!"


Thursday, March 16, 2017

60 Things Every Girl Wants But Wont Ask For

Hey girls...
 Only you can prove this is this right or wrong . i think most of them are true coz everybody wants to be loved .


  1. Touch her waist.
  2. Actually talk to her.
  3. Share secrets with her.
  4. Give her of your sweatshirts
  5. Kiss her slowly –Are you remembering this?
  6. Hug her.
  7. Hold her.
  8. Laugh with her.
  9. Invite her somewhere.
  10. Hangout with her and your friends together
  11. Smile with her.
  12. Take pictures with her
  13. Pull her onto your lap.
  14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back.
  15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it.
  16. Are you thinking of someone?
  17. Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her.
  18. Kiss her unexpectedly.
  19. Hug her from behind around the waist.
  20. Tell her she’s beautiful.
  21. Tell her the way you feel about her.
  22. Open doors for her, walk her to her car- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman.
  23. Tell her she’s your everything – ONLY if you mean it.
  24. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means SHE DOESN’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT- so dont keep on asking her just hug her
  25. Make her feel loved.
  26. Kiss her in front of OTHER girls you know.
  27. WE MIGHT DENY IT BUT WE ACTUALLY LIKE IT AND KINDA WANT YOU TO TICKLE US
  28. DON’T lie to her! DON’T cheat on her
  29. take her ANYWHERE she wants
  30. Text messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her
  31. Be there for her whenever she needs you, & even when she doesn’t need you, just be there so she’ll know that she can ALWAYS count on you. –ARE YOU STILL READING THIS? YOU BETTER BECAUSE, IT’S IMPORTANT
  32. Hold her close when she’s cold so she can hold YOU too.
  33. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her.
  34. Kiss her on the CHEEK; (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her).
  35. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her LIGHTLY.
  36. Dont EVER tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you’re mad. If shes upset, comfort her.
  37. When she leaves, pull her back. –REMEMBER ALL THESE THINGS WHEN YOU ARE WITH HER NEXT
  38. When people DISS her, stand up for her.
  39. Look deep into her EYES and tell her you love her.
  40. Lay down under the STARS and put her head on your chest so you can cuddle (i think this one is most romantic tip J )
  41. When walking next to each other lightly touch her HAND and softly grab it.
  42. When you hug her HOLD her in your arms as LONG as possible–MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHES LOVED
  43. Call or text her EVERY night to wish her sweet dreams.
  44. Take her for LONG walks at night.
  45. ALWAYS remind her how much you love her
  46. COMFORT her when she cries and wipe away her tears
  47. Rub her back–feels good
  48. Give her your coat if she’s cold-
  49. Write letters on her back with your finger
  50. Let her sit on your lap
  51. DON’T poke her hard…but if you want to mess around just do it lightly.
  52. HOLD her HAND in PUBLIC
  53. Even if she looks BAD one day tell her she’s BEAUTIFUL
  54. Keep conversations flowing…talk about anything usually they just go along with it.
  55. If their hair is in their face move it out of her face and then kiss her passionately and gently.
  56. Surprisingly sneek up on her and hug her from behind–loves it.
  57. Kiss her in the rain.(this one is my favourite … somebody listening?? )
  58. Pick her up like in The Notebook and kiss her
  59. Slow dance with no music
  60. Don’t ignore her or be nervous around her–everythings going to be okay

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Share/Save/Bookmark