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Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Father Murphy walks into a pub


Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, ‘Do you want to go to heaven?’
The man said, ‘I do, Father.’
The priest said, ‘Then stand over there against the wall.’

Then the priest asked the second man, ‘Do you want to go to heaven?’
‘Certainly, Father,’ was the man’s reply.
‘Then stand over there against the wall,’ said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O’Toole and said, ‘Do you want to go to heaven?’
O’Toole said, ‘No I don’t Father.’

The priest said, ‘I don’t believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?’
O’Toole said, ‘Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.’

Friday, January 18, 2019

Colours - Men and Women

Colours - Men and Women


Friday, December 28, 2018

A man goes to an ice sculpture showcase...

A man goes to an ice sculpture showcase...


At the showcase, hundreds of people were milling around admiring the works of art. But for some reason, everyone was really quiet and only whispering. The man, being a talkative and social guy, did not like this so he tried to change the mood.

He went around to different groups of people and tried to strike up a conversation with some of them. But, people either pushed him away or just ignored him.

In a fit of frustration, he grabbed the nearest ice sculpture and smashed it on the ground. Amazingly, it didn't shatter. The man started stomping on it. Again, the ice sculpture didn't even crack a bit. Enraged, the man threw everything he got at it, punching, kicking and stomping. Somehow, the ice sculpture still remained intact.

Around him, people were horrified. An old lady called out "What are you doing! That's my sculpture!"

The man looked around, embarrassed "Oh, I was just trying to break the ice."

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Christ Cartoons !! Jesus Jokes

Christ Cartoons !! Jesus Jokes 




Monday, July 30, 2018

BUMP…BUMP…BUMP - The Scariest Story Ever !!!


This guy’s walking home from work, really late, in the pitch black of night. 

There isn’t another soul on the street. Suddenly, from out of the gloom, comes an ominous bump…bump…bump. 
He looks behind him and spots a furtive, shadowy thing coming down the street after him. Unnerved, he picks up his pace, finally breaking into a panicked run.

He looks behind him again, and the shadow is closer. Bump…bump…bump. The glow of a streetlight illuminates the shadow momentarily, and, to the man’s horror, it is a coffin, bumping down the sidewalk. He quickens his pace, running as fast as he can go, but the coffin only pursues more quickly. BUMP…BUMP…BUMP!

He reaches his house, fumbles frantically for his keys, and slips in the door just as the coffin reaches his front steps. He slams the door and leans against it, catching his breath. Bump…bump…bump. There is a moment’s silence, and the man wonders if he dares to breathe.

Suddenly…. Bump…bump…bump…Bump…BUMP! BUMP! 
BUMPBUMPBUMPCRAAAAASH!!!! 

He rebounds away as the door breaks off its hinges. Scrambling to his feet, he charges up the stairs, and the coffin races after. 

BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP! 

Terrified, he backs into a corner and starts throwing everything within reach at the coffin — a handful of papers, a vase, a box of crackers, a lamp — but the coffin keeps coming!

BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP BUMP INCHESFROMHISFACE, and nothing seems to slow it down! His hands fall upon a bottle of cough syrup, and he throws that at the coffin, too!

The coffin stops.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Father, Son and Explanation of System - An Awesome Joke


A Son comes home from school and tells his father : "Dad, we are learning about our system in school, but I don't think I really got it, can you explain it to me?" 

The father answers: "Sure, imagine it like this: I bring home the money, so I'm the capital. Your mom spends the money, so she is the government. Granpa, is the unions, because he checks if everything is going the right way. Anna, the girl that lives with us and cleans the house is the working class. And we are all doing it for you. You are the citizens. And your baby brother is the future." The son is a bit sceptical and says: "I think I will have to sleep a night over it."

In the middle of the night the boy is woken up by the crying of his little brother who has shit his diapers, so he goes to the parents room. There he only finds his mother and she sleeps so tight that he can't wake her up. So he goes to Anna's room where the father is having sex with the girl and the grandfather is watching through the window. He decides to go back to sleep.

The next morning at the breakfast table the father asks the son: "Have you understood what I told you?" "I think so" the son said "The capital screws the working class, the unions are watching, the government sleeps, the citizens are ignored and the future is lying in shit!"

Thursday, May 3, 2018

The Wong Brothers - A must read story


In ancient China lived the Wong brothers, three wise men who studied the arts of magic. Wong Wan could create beautiful tapestries with the tiniest bit of thread, and Wong Tsu could miraculously make crops grow in barren soil. Wong Lee, however, was much more sinister than his brothers. His magic could bring the dead back to life, but he did so to make them his eternal servants.
One day, Wong Lee was reading one of the ancient scrolls in his tower. He discovered a spell that allowed him to create a stronger, better type of servant, better than the ghouls, ghasts and spectres that he had made in the past. The spell required only three ingredients to cast, but they were very difficult to obtain.
Wong Lee went out to look for the first ingredient: a single scale from a red dragon. He and his servant went to the great hills and valleys in search of the dragon, but found none. Then they went to the wide open desert, but still found none. They climbed the highest mountains in China in search of the dragon, but found none.
It was only when they began to climb down from the summit of the mountain that a red dragon came to visit them. "It would appear that you two are looking for one of my scales," said the dragon in a deep, booming voice.
"Yes, great dragon, it is a reagent for my spell," said Wong Lee.
The dragon looked upon Wong Lee and his servant and slowly nodded its giant head. "I will trade you a scale from my hide for the life of your brother Wan," said the dragon, and Wong Lee agreed, for he cared not about the life of his brother.
Now that Wong Lee had the first ingredient, it was time to find the second: a single pearl from a giant clam. Wong Lee and his servant searched the rivers long and far, but found no clam. They went through every grain of sand on every beach, but found no clam. They sailed the seas and dove into its depths, but found no clam.
It was only when they began to return to shore that a large clam came up from the sea in front of their ship. "You are looking for my pearl, aren't you?" said the clam.
"Yes, great clam, it is a reagant for my spell," said Wong Lee.
The clam looked upon Wong Lee and his servant, and slowly opened its huge shell. "I will trade you my pearl for the life of your brother Tsu," said the clam, and Wong Lee agreed, for he cared not about the life of his brother.
When Wong Lee returned to his tower, he found that the bodies of his brothers had been placed there by the dragon and the clam. "This is good for me," he said to himself, "because the last ingredient is the bodies of two powerful magicians."
Wong Lee drew a ritual circle in his tower, lighting candles and braziers that cast an eerie glow over the bodies of his brothers. He set them perfectly inside the circle, and placed the scale and pearl he had been given upon each body. With the spell ready to recite, Wong Lee began to chant, and a bright red light shone through the chamber for a moment. When it faded, nothing was left but Wong Lee and his servant. The scale, the pearl, and the two bodies had vanished entirely.
"I don't understand!" Wong Lee shouted. "Everything was in its proper place! The spell should have worked!"
"Excuse me, master," his servant interrupted, "but everyone knows that two Wongs don't make a wight."

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Fire !!! - an engineer, a physicist and a mathematician - Joke


In a hotel an engineer, a physicist and a mathematician are sleeping when a fire breaks out.
The engineer wakes up, notices the fire, grabs the next fire extinguisher and starts spraying.

 After what seems hours of heroic fighting the fire is gone and he goes to sleep again.

But the fire breaks out again. The physicist wakes up, notices the fire, grabs the fire extinguisher. Stares at the fire for some minutes, does some calculations in his head - air flow, humidity, thermodynamic whatever - and then - with one blow from the extinguisher at the right point the fire is out and he goes to sleep again.

But the fire breaks out again. 
The mathematician wakes up, notices the fire, sees the extinguisher - "aaaah, the problem is solvable"  
and goes to sleep again.


Wednesday, January 3, 2018

45 Quick And Dirty Riddles That Will Stump Even Your Smartest Friends

45 Quick And Dirty Riddles That Will Stump Even Your Smartest Friends



1. You play with me at night before going to sleep. You can't get caught fiddling with me at work. You only let a select few people touch me. What am I?

Your phone.

2. What's a four-letter word that ends in "k" and means the same as intercourse?

Talk.

3. I start with a "v" and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I?

Her voice.

4. I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?

Your nose.

5. What's in a man's pants that you won't find in a girl's dress?

Pockets.

6. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?

A tent.

7. What's long and hard and has cum in it?

A cucumber.

8. If I miss, I might hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?

The paperboy.

9. What four-letter word begins with "f" and ends with "k," and if you can't get it you can always just use your hands?

A fork.

10. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

An elevator.

11. I'm spread out before being eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. What am I?

Peanut butter.

12. Arnold Schwarzenegger's is really long. Michael J. Fox's is short. Daffy Duck's isn't human. Madonna doesn't have one. What am I?

A last name.

13. What is hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside? The word begins with "c," ends in "t," and there's a "u" and an "n" between them.

A coconut.

14. I start with a "p" and ends with "o-r-n," and I'm a major player in the film industry. What am I?

Popcorn.

15. My business is briefs. I'm a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it regularly. What am I?

A lawyer.

16. You get a lot of it if you're powerful and successful, but significantly less when you're just starting out. You sometimes do it with yourself, but it's a lot better when you do it with another person. What am I talking about?

Email.

17. Name a word that starts with "f" and ends with "u-c-k"?

Firetruck!

18. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?

An arrow.

19. I go in hard but come out soft, and I never mind if you want to blow me. What am I?

Bubblegum.

20. What does a dog do that a man steps into?

Pants.

21. I'm great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?

Gloves.

22. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A seatbelt.

23. What's beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn't trimmed regularly?

The lawn.

24. All men have one, but it's longer on some than others. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife once they're married.

His last name.

25. I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I'm known as a big swinger. What am I?

A crane.

26. You find me in a guy's pants. I'm about six inches long, I have a head, and some women love to blow me. What am I?

A twenty dollar bill.

27. When I go in, I can cause some pain. I'll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit, and not swallow. What am I?

Your dentist.

28. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

29. I grow in a bed, first white then red, and the plumper I get, the better women like me. What am I?

A strawberry.

30. I'm the highlight of many dates. I'm especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?

A bowling ball.

31. What's made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?

Erasers.

32. I'm at least six inches long. I love it wet and foamy when I get to do my job. What am I?

A toothbrush.

33. What's messy and can be really annoying and/or tricky to clean up after sex?

Feelings.

34. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't a maiden for long. Something really big and hard ripped me open. What am I?

The Titanic.

35. It's a fun thing to do and you devote a significant amount of energy to thinking about it, but you hate knowing that your parents are doing it. What is it?

Facebook.

36. What's most useful when it's long and hard?

An education.

37. What's white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?

Toothpaste.

38. A lot of people like these to be as long as possible, but short ones can be effective, and it's definitely possible for them to be too long. What are they?

Tweets.

39. Name a word that's four letters long, ends in "u-n-t" and is used to refer to some women?

Aunt.

40. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

It's not hard.

41. Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts.

42. Who's the most popular girl at the nudist colony?

The one who can eat the last donut!

43. How do you make five pounds of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.

44. What does a woman have two of the a cow has four of?

Legs.

45. Sometimes a finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

Your wedding band.






A.R.V.เฎฒோเฎทเฎฉ்
A.R.V.Loshan

Friday, December 22, 2017

Sex with the priest's wife

Sex with the priest's wife.



Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... "I'm sleeping with the priest's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?" The friend doesn't like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, 

Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he's really up to. 

Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest... "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."

The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob's shoulder and says... "You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago".


Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Hilarious Laws which you have not studied in schools

Hilarious Laws which you have not studied in schools



๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of equality :

The time taken by a wife when she says I'll get ready in 5 minutes  is exactly equal to the time taken by husband when he says 'I'll cal you in 5 minutes!
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of Queue:*
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of Telephone:*
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy tone.๐Ÿ˜…
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of Mechanical Repair:*
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of the Workshop:*

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.๐Ÿ˜
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Bath Theorem:*
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of Encounters:*
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of the Result:*
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of Bio mechanics:*
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Theatre Rule:*
People with the seats at the farthest from the entry arrive last. ๐Ÿ˜…
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of Coffee:*
As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will
last until the coffee is cold. ๐Ÿ˜ฉ
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of Proposal :*

After you accept a proposal you will get a better one...๐Ÿ˜œ
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ *Law of getting late*
When you reach early for something it will never start on time๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‰
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖
๐Ÿ’ฎ  *Law of exam*
If you didn't read a page which is of least importance,  first question will be from that page only. ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜


Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? - Celebrities' replies

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?



KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man.  The chicken “crossed” the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.”  And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.  How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road.  I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  Who cares why?  The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?”
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”  Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom have we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road… it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: It was an instinctive maneuver.  The chicken obviously didn’t see the road until he had already started to cross.
BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road.  Not a single time.  Never.  (It was a boulevard.)
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position.  The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.  Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.  Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.  Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.  The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values.  This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.  Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Monday, August 14, 2017

North Korea and Chicken

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?


Saturday, August 12, 2017

iPhone 7 plus - A Damn Good Joke

Husband on second day of marriage :-



He went to the makeup artist  who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her a beautifully packed iPhone 7 plus box.

Make up artist opened the box with great happiness but was suddenly depressed to see a Nokia 1100. 

Husband smiled and said "same feeling I had when I saw my wife this morning"
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ

Friday, August 11, 2017

Winston Churchill - A Fool ?

Winston Churchill - A Fool ?


During WW II, a man was arrested in London for calling Winston Churchill a fool.

The next day in the House of Commons, the opposition members were ready to roast the government for this. "Are we living in a police state", they shouted, "where we cannot call the PM a fool"?

Churchill's reply was truly disarming - "The man was not arrested for calling the Prime Minister a fool", he said, "but for letting out a state secret at a time of war".
๐Ÿ‘

Thats the real sense of Humour..๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ˜

Monday, July 31, 2017

One Reason To Buy A Painting

One Reason To Buy A Painting


At an art gallery, a woman and her ten-year-old son were having 
a tough time choosing between one of my paintings and another artist’s work. They finally went with mine.
“I guess you decided you prefer an autumn scene to a floral,” I said.
“No,” said the boy. “Your painting’s wider, so it’ll cover three holes in 
our wall.”

Monday, June 19, 2017

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?


Saturday, June 3, 2017

17 Of The Greatest One-Line Jokes.

17 Of The Greatest One-Line Jokes



  1. A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps.
  2. A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
  3. I removed the shell from my racing snail to make him go faster, but if anything it made him more sluggish.
  4. Alcoholics don’t run in my family — they mostly stumble around and bump into things.
  5. A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks, “some asshole has my pen.”
  6. “I have an L-shaped couch… Lower case.”
  7. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
  8. I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.
  9. What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?
  10. My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn’t actually say that, but I could tell it was what the snide bastard was thinking.
  11. Saw this somewhere: If your parachute doesn’t open, don’t panic; you have the rest of your life to fix it!
  12. Saw a sign outside of an office building which said:”Today’s workshop ‘How To Cope With Disappointment’ has been cancelled.”
  13. What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?
  14. I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was, and then it dawned on me.
  15. Saying ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ mean the same thing, except when at a funeral.
  16. My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
  17. “Yes, I have reservations… but I’ll eat here anyway”

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Killer English.

Killer English...


๐Ÿ˜€Plz forgive me if u die laughing๐Ÿ˜€

This is an actual letter taken from the Times of India in response to a `Marriage Proposal' advertisement:

Madam,
I am one young gentleman living only with myself in Patna. I am seeing ur advertisement for marriage purpose in the daily newspaper. So I decide to press myself on u and I am hopping you will make the marriage with me.
I am the son of my father & mother of agriculture family from inside Patna. I having no sister and no brother also. I become big in Patna only. I educate myself in the Zuarilal Himmatlal High School, Bezna Road.
I am nice and big, six foots tall and six inches long. My body is filled with hardness why because I am working hardly. I am playing also hardly. Especially I am liking the cricket. I am a good batter also I am fast baller. Whenever I am coming running for the balling, all batters are running everywhere why because they are afraiding my balls. My balls are bouncing too much high. That is very danger for them.
I am not having any bad habits. I drink milk only and no other bad things. I am not chewing cigarettes or eating gutka paan why because it not good for all the peoples. So I am not doing.
I am having very much money in my pant everyday and my pant is everyday open for you why because I am nice gentleman, but still I am living with myself only. What to do? So I am taking my things into my own hands everyday. That is why I want to press myself on you, so that you will come and take my things into your hands.

๐Ÿ’RIP ENGLISH๐Ÿ™

Friday, February 10, 2017

Wives !!!!













Wives !!!!


Wife : "why are u home so early?"
Hubby : "My boss said go to hell!"
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Doctor : How is ur headache ?
Patient : she's out of town 
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
No Man Can Ever Be Satisfied with 4 things in life:
(1) Mobile
(2) Automobile
(3) TV
(4) Wife
Because, there is always a
better model in his neighbourhood 
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Compromising does not mean you are wrong and your wife is right.
It only means that the safety of your head is much more important than your ego! ๐Ÿ˜ท
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Whisky is a brilliant invention.
One double and you start feeling single again. ๐Ÿ˜‡
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
It is said that when a woman closes her eyes, she sees the person she love the most and when a man does that.
The slide show begins.๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Funny quote on a husband`s T-Shirt:
All girls are devils,
but my wife is the queen of them

๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Q - If a Woman is Quiet, which day is it?
Ans - Who Cares, just Enjoy that Day๐Ÿ˜‚

๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
There are 3 kinds of men in this
world.
Some remain single and make
wonders happen.
Some have girlfriends and see wonders happen.
Rest get married and wonder what happened....๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Wives are magicians........
They can change anything into an argument....๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜œ
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Women live a Better, Longer &
Peaceful Life, as compared to men.
WHY?
A very INTELLIGENT man replied:
Women don't have a wife!๐Ÿ˜œ ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜œ
๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ“ผ
Share this with all men for a good laugh and with women who can handle it...
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