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Showing posts with label manager jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label manager jokes. Show all posts

Friday, September 18, 2020

Management Consultantancy !!

 Management Consultantancy



There was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road.
Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt.
The driver,
a man dressed in an Armani suit,
Cerutti shoes,
Ray-Ban sunglasses,
TAG-Heuer wrist watch,
& a Pierre Cardin tie
gets out and asks the shepherd,
'If I can tell you how many sheep you have,
will you give me one of them?'
The shepherd looks at
the young man,
then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies,
'Okay.'
The young man parks the car,
connects his laptop to the mobile-fax,
enters a NASA Website,
scans the ground using his GPS,
opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot
tables.
He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech
mini-printer,
turns to the shepherd and says,
‘'You have exactly 1,586 sheep.'.
The shepherd cheers,
"That's correct,
you can have your choicest sheep from the herd".
'The young man takes one of the animals which he likes most and cute from the flock and puts it in the back of his Porsche.
The shepherd looks at him and asks,
'If I guess your profession,
will you return my animal to me?'
The young man laughed and answers,
'Yes, why not?'
The shepherd says,
'You are a MANAGEMENT CONSULTANT.'
'How did you know?'
asks the young man.
'Very simple,'
answers the shepherd.
1. First,
you came here without being wanted.
2. Second,
you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew.
3. Third,
you don't understand anything about my business.
Now, *May I please have my DOG back? "*
😆

Friday, April 6, 2018

A Manager !!! - A Super Hilarious Joke


A highly successful manager was going home in his car when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass
Astonished by the sight, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the manager said.

"But sir, I have a wife and five children with me. They are over there, under that tree".

"Bring them along," the manager replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also."

The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and seven children with me!"

"Bring them all, as well," the manager answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as it was.

One of the poor fellows turned to the Manager and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."

The manager replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 meter high!"
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