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Showing posts with label Russian Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Russian Jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 19, 2018

MI5, CIA and KGB !! - The Best Joke of The Decade

The MI5, the CIA and the KGB are having a competition.

Three small parties of all three Agencies meet on neutral ground, on the edge of a big German forest.

For the goal of the competition, they decided that each of their parties should catch a rabbit, using their espionage skills. The party that manages to catch the rabbit the quickest, wins.

First, the MI5 leaves for the forest. When they emerge eight hours later, they carry a live rabbit in a cage. "We posted lookouts around the forest, and after spotting the rabbit, we shadowed it until it showed us his hideout, we then just placed the cage over the entrance and waited for the rabbit to fall in our trap. Neat and simple."

Now, it's the turn of the CIA. They leave into the forest and emerge four hours later, holding a rabbit which seems to have been shot and badly beaten several times. "We used satellite surveillance to aquire our target, but during the tracking with four inconspicious vans, the subject tried to escape, so we had to use drastic measures. Still counts." Nobody objects.

Now, it was the turn of the KGB. The four agents disappear into the forest, and return after only an hour. But they are not carrying a rabbit, but hold a bear between two of the agents. The bear is badly bruised, has a limp and keeps his gaze to the ground. Absently, he mumbles "I am a rabbit. My parents were both rabbits."

Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Three Bills at a bar - Joke


Three men, one from America, one from Australia and one from Russia were sitting at a bar. To show off, the American picks up his revolver, shoots the cap off his bottle of beer, and proudly exlaims:

"My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."

The Australian, not wanting to be any less of a man, picks up his boomerang and gives it a swing across the bar. It does a big circle, and on its way back it knocks the cap off his beer as well. He then says:

"My name is Bill. Crocodile Bill."

The Russian looks around nervously, then pulls his pants down, and proudly shows his two penises. He then saiys:

"My name is Bill. Cherno Bill."

Saturday, February 3, 2018

One Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet !!!


During winter war soviet general hears someone shouting from wood - "One finnish soldier is better than ten soviet". 

Angry general sends ten man to deal with annoying Fin. After short period of shots and dying soviets screams, comes another shout - 
"One finnish soldier is better than hundred soviet". 

General sends hundred soldier and again none of them comes back. Then general hears third shout - 
"One finnish soldier is better than thousand soviets". 

Furious general sends thousand man to deal with him. 
This time one of his soldiers manage to survive and reports to general - 

"Sir, please don't send more our troops, it's a trap, there's two of them".

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Freedom ! - A 1980s American & Russian Joke

Freedom ! - A 1980s American & Russian Joke



An American and a Russian were discussing their respective freedoms in the 1980's...


American: We have more freedom. I can go over to the president and say "Mr. Reagan, I don't like the way you are running this country".

Russian: What's the big deal in that? I too can go to my president and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Reagan is running his country".
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