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Friday, December 28, 2018

A man goes to an ice sculpture showcase...

A man goes to an ice sculpture showcase...


At the showcase, hundreds of people were milling around admiring the works of art. But for some reason, everyone was really quiet and only whispering. The man, being a talkative and social guy, did not like this so he tried to change the mood.

He went around to different groups of people and tried to strike up a conversation with some of them. But, people either pushed him away or just ignored him.

In a fit of frustration, he grabbed the nearest ice sculpture and smashed it on the ground. Amazingly, it didn't shatter. The man started stomping on it. Again, the ice sculpture didn't even crack a bit. Enraged, the man threw everything he got at it, punching, kicking and stomping. Somehow, the ice sculpture still remained intact.

Around him, people were horrified. An old lady called out "What are you doing! That's my sculpture!"

The man looked around, embarrassed "Oh, I was just trying to break the ice."

Saturday, December 22, 2018

A Sexy Lady in an airplane - Best Joke of 2018

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding.


He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really?” he said.

“And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Always let your boss have the first say.


A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish”


“Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk.

“I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone.

“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep.

“I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone.

“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral: Always let your boss have the first say.

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Sundar Pichai vs US Congress - Google's congressional hearing highlights in 11 minutes

Google's congressional hearing highlights 

in 11 minutes


Lawmakers questioned Google's CEO Sundar Pichai for over three hours, looking for answers on alleged anti-conservative bias, plans for a censored search engine for China, and data collection.


Thursday, December 13, 2018

8 Big Differences Between Great Leaders And Bad Leaders

8 Big Differences Between Great Leaders And Bad Leaders










Sunday, December 9, 2018

I had a threesome last night..



Man: Father, I have sinned. I had a threesome last night....


It was with two, beautiful, gorgeous young women who did everything I wanted and kept coming back for more, all night long.
Priest: son, although you did a bad thing outside of marriage, you are forgiven.
Man: I don't want forgiveness...
Priest: then why are you telling me?
Man: I'm telling EVERYONE!

Thursday, December 6, 2018

DIVORCE vs. MURDER


A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I'd like to buy some cyanide. The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband.

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy!  I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law.  I'll lose my license!  They'll throw both of us in jail!  All kinds of bad things will happen.  Absolutely not!  You CANNOT have any cyanide.  Just get a divorce!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and said, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription... "
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

Monday, December 3, 2018

Lucky Postman and an important Management Lesson


A Postman was retiring after 35 years of service. The towns people appreciated his work and presented him different gifts.

In one house a young lady took him to her bedroom gave him good sex, a good lunch and $5.

The Postman was very happy and asked "But why the $5"?

Lady: "Actually yesterday I asked my husband what to present you"?

He said "Fuck him,  just give him $5"

"But the lunch was my idea."

MANAGEMENT LESSON: Always give clear instructions ...
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