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Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts

Saturday, August 12, 2017

iPhone 7 plus - A Damn Good Joke

Husband on second day of marriage :-



He went to the makeup artist  who did his wife's bridal make up, and gifted her a beautifully packed iPhone 7 plus box.

Make up artist opened the box with great happiness but was suddenly depressed to see a Nokia 1100. 

Husband smiled and said "same feeling I had when I saw my wife this morning"
😂🤣😝😛😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

🙌🙌🙌

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Newlywed couple and Pastor - Joke


A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks." The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?" "Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man replied. "What happened?" inquired the pastor. "My wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was over come with lust and took advantage of her right there." "You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor. "That's okay," said the young man. "We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."

Friday, October 28, 2016

TEN (10) GOLDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE

*TEN (10) GOLDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE:*





*TO THOSE WHO ARE MARRIED AND/OR ARE PREPARING TO GET MARRIED SOON*
1. *EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS*
Only God has no weakness. Every rose flower has its own thorn. If you focus too much on your spouse's weakness, you can't get the best out of his/her strength.
2. *EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A DARK HISTORY*
No one is an Angel, therefore, avoid digging one's past. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away. try to forgive and forget. The past can't be changed. So Focus on the present and the future!
3. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT'S OWN CHALLENGES*
Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every shinning marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proven in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!
4. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS*
Don't compare your marriage with anyone! We can never be equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.
5. *TO MARRY IS TO DECLARE A WAR*
When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, Wife battery, Laziness, Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.
6. *THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE*
There is no ready made marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a CAR with Gear oil, gear box, back hassles and If this parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and exposing the occupant to unhealthy circumstances. - Many of us are careless about our marriage... Are you? If you are, pls pay attention to your marriage.
7. *GOD CANNOT GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE PERSON YOU DESIRE*
He (God) gives you, him or her in the form of raw materials in order for you to mould what you desire. You may desire a woman who can pray for 1 hour but your wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve and vice versa.
8. *TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK*
You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situation may change, so, leave a room for adjustment. Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years. You may get marry to her because she's slim but she becomes 100% fatter after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at last.
9. *MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT, IT IS A COVENANT*
Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce
10. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY*
Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdraw. If you don't deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.
May the Lord Give us the Grace And Wisdom To Build A Heaven on Earth Marriage Amen.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Newly Married and For Sale - Joke

Newly married husband puts a notice in front of his residence:
FOR SALE
Computer and Encyclopedia both in good condition. 

Reason for selling: No longer needed. Got married. Wife knows EVERYTHING ...with backup server called
"Mother In Law "😂😂😜😜



Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Satan


One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

Friday, January 28, 2011

Aishwarya Rai's sister's Wedding

Aishwarya Rai's sister's Wedding







Tuesday, December 28, 2010

WEDDING CAKE



A Doctor at a health conference said,
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG.
High fat diets can be destructive,
and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it.
Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of silence, a 70-year-old man sitting in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."


Sunday, April 18, 2010

Marriage Thoughts

Monday, April 12, 2010

Hot Husband..

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Life of men, Before and After marriage


Life of men Before Marriage



Life of men After Marriage






Monday, March 22, 2010

Getting married...


*Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Devon, are all excited
about their decision to get married. *

*They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a
chemist.. Jacob suggests they go in. *

*Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are you the owner?" *

*The pharmacist answers, "Yes." *

*Jacob: "We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?" *

*Pharmacist: "Of course we do." *

*Jacob: "How about medicine for circulation?" *

*Pharmacist: "All kinds " *

*Jacob: "Medicine for rheumatism?" *

*Pharmacist: "Definitely." *

*Jacob: "How about suppositories?" *

*Pharmacist: "You bet!" *

*Jacob: "Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, and Alzheimer's?" *

*Pharmacist: "Yes, a large variety. The works." *

*Jacob: "What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for
Parkinson's disease?" *

*Pharmacist: "Absolutely.." *

*Jacob: "Everything for heartburn and indigestion?" *

*Pharmacist: "We sure do." *

*Jacob: "You sell wheelchairs and walkers and walking sticks?" *

*Pharmacist: "All speeds and sizes." Jacob: "Adult incontinence pants?" *

*Pharmacist: "Sure." *

*Jacob: "We'd like to use this store for our wedding presents list..."*

Friday, March 19, 2010

Marriage cartoons




Friday, January 29, 2010

Sri Lankan cricketer Lasith Malinga's Wedding Photos


Slinga Malinga ties knott..

Sri Lankan cricketer Lasith Malinga's Wedding Photos







Thursday, December 31, 2009

Some rare wedding photos







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