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Showing posts with label naughty kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label naughty kids. Show all posts

Saturday, April 14, 2018

30+ Hilarious Quotes About Love, From Kids


What Is The Proper Age To Get Married?
“Eighty-four. Because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8)
“Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.” (Tommy, 5)

What Do Most People Do On A Date?
“On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.” (Mike, 10)

When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone
“Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours.” (Kally, 9)

Is It Better To Be Single Or Married?
“It’s better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them.” (Lynette, 9)
“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” (Kenny, 7)

Concerning Why Love Happens Between Two People
“No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.” (Jan, 9)
“I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.” (Harlen, 8)

On What Falling In Love Is Like
“Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life.” (Roger, 9)
“If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long to learn.” (Leo, 7)

On The Role Of Good Looks In Love And Romance
“If you want to be loved by somebody who isn’t already in your family, it doesn’t hurt to be beautiful.” (Jeanne, 8)
“It isn’t always just how you look. Look at me. I’m handsome like anything and I haven’t got anybody to marry me yet.” (Gary, 7)
“Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a longtime.” (Christine, 9)

Concerning Why Lovers Often Hold Hands
“They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off, because they paid good money for them.” (David, 8)

Confidential Opinions About Love
“I’m in favor of love as long as it doesn’t happen when The Simpsons are on TV.” (Anita, 6)
“Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I’ve been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.” (Bobby, 8)
“I’m not rushing into being in love. I’m finding fourth grade hard enough.” (Regina, 10)

Personal Qualities Necessary To Be A Good Lover
“One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills.” (Ava 8)

Some Surefire Ways To Make A Person Fall In Love With You
“Tell them you own a whole bunch of candy stores.” (Del, 6)
“Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as love.” (Alonzo, 9)
“One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries usually works for me.” (Bart, 9)

How Can You Tell If Two Adults Eating Dinner At A Restaurant Are In Love
“Just see if the man picks up the check. That’s how you can tell if he’s in love.” (John, 9)
“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food,” (Brad, 8)
“It’s love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it’s just like their hearts are on fire.” (Christine, 9)

What Most People Are Thinking When They Say “I Love You”
“The person is thinking: Yeah, I really do love him, but I hope he showers at least once a day.” (Michelle, 9)

How A Person Learns To Kiss
“You learn it right on the spot, when the gushy feelings get the best of you.” (Doug, 7)
“It might help if you watched soap operas all day.” (Carin, 9)

When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?
“It’s never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you…that’s why I stopped doing it.” (Jean, 10)

How To Make Love Endure
“Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work.” (Tommy, 7)
“Don’t forget your wife’s name…that will mess up the love.” (Roger, 8)
“Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take the trash out.” (Randy, 8)

Monday, February 6, 2017

Making a Puppy - Joke


A father and his 6-year-old son are walking down the street, and they come across two dogs having sex. The boy is shocked by what he sees and asks his father "Daddy, what are they doing?" The father, not wanting to lie to his son, says "they're just making a puppy." "OK" says the son, and the father is relieved that he doesn't probe further. The next day, the son bursts into his parents' room and sees them having sex. The father jumps up and quickly covers himself. Knowing he's in for an interesting talk, walks downstairs with him and they sit at the dining room table. His son asks him "Daddy, what were you and mommy doing?" Again, wanting to be honest with his son, he says "me and mommy were making a baby." His son pauses for a moment, thinking, and then replies "flip mommy over, I want a puppy!"

Saturday, February 4, 2017

A Sunday quickie - Joke


Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Beware of Naughty Kids

Beware of Naughty Kids



















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