Funny Finger Paintings

<*-*> Humor of Sterven Wright <*-*>

Humor of Steven Wright

[1]  All of the people in my building are insane. The guy
 above me designs synthetic hairballs for ceramic
 cats. The lady across the hall tried to rob a
 department store... with a pricing gun... She said,
 "Give me all of the money in the vault, or I'm marking
 down everything in the store."

[2]  And when I get real, real bored, I like to drive
 downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my
 car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

[3]  Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at
 the beach... it ticks me off! I'll go over to a
 little baby and say, "What are you doing here? You
 haven't worked a day in your life!"

[4]  Do you think that when they asked George Washington
 for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

[5]  Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you
 know it will be up all night?

[6]  Ever notice how irons have a setting for PERMANENT
 press? I don't get it...

[7]  For a while I didn't have a car...I had a
 helicopter...no place to park it, so I just tied it to
 a lamp post and left it running... [slow glance
 upward]

[8]  For my birthday I got a humidifier and a
 dehumidifier...I put them in the same room and let
 them fight it out.

[9]  He was a multimillionaire... Wanna know how he made
 all of his money? ... He designed the little
 diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in.

[10]  I bought some batteries, but they weren't included, so
 I had to buy them again.

[11]  I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a
 house.

[12]  I broke a mirror in my house. I'm supposed to get
 seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can
 get me five.

[13]  I collect rare photographs. One of them is of Houdini
 locking his keys in his car....

[14]  I got a new shadow. I had to get rid of the other one
  It wasn't doing what I was doing.

THE POWER OF WORDS...

The Power Of Words

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. All the other frogs gathered around the pit. When they saw how deep the

 pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead.

The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all of their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as goo

d as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.

The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and fina

lly made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, "Did you not hear us?" The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him

 the entire time.

This story teaches two lessons:

1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day.

2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them. Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path.

The power of words....it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the

 spirit to continue in difficult times!

Freaky!!!

Some unidentified scary, ghost images captured in the photographs..

Ghosts??????

Decide it yourself....

What does your Signature mean About you

WHAT DOES YOUR SIGNATURE MEAN ABOUT YOU… The various types of Signatures you come across & the attitude of a person are listed below: # SINGLE UNDERLINE BELOW THE SIGN!! These persons are very confident and are good personalities. They are a little bit selfish but believe in "Happiness of human life" # TWO DOTS BELOW THE SIGN!! These persons are considered to be Romantic, can easily change their fiancées as if they change their clothes. They prefer beauty in other persons & they themselves try to look beautiful. They easily attract others. # SINGLE DOT BELOW THE SIGN! These persons are more inclined towards classical arts, simple & are very cool. If you loose faith with them, then these persons will never look back at you. Hence its always better to be careful with these people. # NO UNDERLINES OR DOTS BELOW THE SIGN!! These persons enjoy their life in their own way, never pay attention to others views. These are considered to be good natured but are selfish too. # RANDOM SIGN, NO SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN!! These persons try to be very smart, hide each & every matter, never say anything in straight forward manner, never pay attention to the other person of what he is talking of. # RANDOM SIGN, SIMILARITY BETWEEN NAME & SIGN!! These persons are considered to be intelligent but never think. These people change their ideas & views as fast as the wind changes its direction of flow. They never think whether that particular thing is right or wrong. You can win them just by flattering them. # SIGN IN PRINTED LETTERS!! These persons are very kind to us, have a good heart, selfless, are ready to sacrifice their life for the sake of their near & dear. But these seem to think a lot and may get angry very soon. # WRITING COMPLETE NAME AS THEIR SIGN!! These persons are very kind hearted, can adjust themselves to any environment & to the person they are talking.These persons are very firm on their views & posses a lot of will power.

Tick Tock: A Brief History of Clocks

Throughout the millenniums various groups of people have developed ways in which to record time. The Sumerians and Egyptians used Sundials, although telling time during the night was somewhat difficult. In order to keep track of time when no sunlight was available, waterclocks were developed in Greece. The clock as we visualize it today evolved in the Far East and Europe from approximately 100 - 1600 AD. Early inventors struggled with the dilemma of finding a reliable power source as sun, water, and sand can be somewhat undependable. The power source “turns a wheel and a system of gears that move the hands of the clock and are controlled by an arresting mechanism called an escapement, which allows the teeth of one of the gears to ‘escape’ one by one.” (trollvalley.com) A major breakthrough came in 1500/1510 when Peter Henlein developed “spring power.” This was followed by Christian Huygens’ pendulum clock in 1656, although Galileo is credited with the original design. Huygens again advanced the clock’s evolution by inventing a balance wheel and spring assembly, similar to what we use in wrist watches today. The size of timepieces has changed radically over the years. Many early clocks were large due to the need to encase large group(s) of mechanisms. Finally Peter Henlein’s development of a ‘spring powered’ clock allowed for a reduction in the size of the clock. ‘Spring powered’ clocks could be made mantle or table size. In fact, Henlein went so far as to develop the first portable watch; it was six inches high. The development of the long pendulum ushered in a new era, not only in timepieces but in furniture. To house and protect this long pendulum and its mechanism required a tall case. Why shouldn’t that case be reflective of current furniture styles?

Time Line of Clocks c. 3500 BC “Shadow” clocks or Sundials first appear. c.325 BC Waterclocks are invented. 100 - 1300 Clocks evolve in Far East & Europe 1088 Complex mechanism using water driven power source first used. 1500 - 1510Spring powered mechanism designed 1505 Peter Henlein designs first portable timepiece. 1577 Minute hand mechanism designed. 1582 Design for long pendulum invented. 1656 Development of long pendulum clock . 1657 Christian Huygens invents balance wheel & spring assembly (as used in wristwatches today). 1660 Longcase or tallcase clocks become popular. 1660 - 1730 “Golden age” of clock making. 1671 Anchor or “recoil” escapement invented. c. 1685 Tall case clocks imported to American Colonies. c. 1695 First tall case clocks constructed in American Colonies. 1721 New design to improve accuracy developed. 1880 Term “grandfather’s clock” becomes popular based on a song Grandfather’s Clock that was popular in England and America.

The “golden age of development” (Edwin) of English tall case clocks was from 1660 to 1730. The first of the tall case clocks was made for kings, queens, and nobles. Early clocks were constructed using the popular classical proportions of the day. These clocks were characterized by a narrow pendulum cabinet and a portico type bonnet. Eventually cabinet and clock makers developed ways to bring down the cost of these tall case clocks making them more widely affordable and thereby developing a greater demand for tall case clocks. Early American tall case clock construction was based on the English tradition. Having no trained clockmakers in the colonies, the first tall case clocks were imported from England. Eventually only the mechanisms of the clocks were imported for ease in shipment, requiring a craftsman for assembly. The first clocks made in the American colonies were copies of those being made for the English market in the “then popular Baroque style.” New York, New England, Pennsylvania and Virginia were colonial clockmaking centers. Benjamin Chandlee from Philadelphia developed a case under seven feet in height for colonial homes which often had lower ceilings. (Johnson) Each early American-made clock was constructed using hand tools and took months of work. Machinery that might have aided colonial production was “prohibited by law from being exported to the colonies” (Johnson). Therefore, tall case clocks were found in the most well to do homes in the colonies and would have been a symbol of one’s socio-economic status within the community. John and Elizabeth Chads were well-to-do Chester Countians. John oversaw several businesses and owned a quantity of land. Elizabeth came from a family equally well established. The architecture of their house and, I’m sure, its furnishings were symbols of their success and position within early Chadds Ford society. While we are far from determining if our “new” clock was, in fact, John and Elizabeth’s, those who have seen it can attest that it looks right at home in its surroundings. By Elizabeth Rump

What Do Unborn Babies Think Of?

Resource Management

A good example of Resource Management

Coke Brrr !!! Amazing and Artistic

Hit any Key

New customer to Tech Support: "It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens'.

Tech Support: Can you try again and tell me what happens?

Customer: 'Tried but nothing"

Tech Support: "What key did you hit?

After a moment and some chick ling sound the customer replied: Well, first I tried my car key and just now my office key.

Confusing Picture

The REAL World