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Tuesday, February 27, 2018

The Investment - A real Life example

The Investment - A real Life example 


Thursday, February 22, 2018

A golfer and his wife - Hilarious #joke

A golfer and his wife - Hilarious #joke




Monday, February 19, 2018

A little (girl) fire fighter - Funniest Joke

A little (girl) fire fighter - Funniest Joke




Saturday, February 17, 2018

Why hasn't the towns most successful lawyer ever made a donation? - Read till the end

Why hasn't the towns most successful lawyer ever made a donation? - Read till the end 


A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. 

The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you did not give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" 

The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" 
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um, no." 
The lawyer interrupts, "Or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" 
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "Or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" 
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea." 

On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

Monday, February 12, 2018

Wife !!!


A man wakes up after a heavy night of drinking to his wife happily cooking breakfast.
Confused, he approaches his daughter for an explanation of last night when he arrived home.
"You kicked in the door when you couldn't get your key in the lock, fell through the table and broke it, and pissed your pants.
" "Jesus! So then why the hell is she in such a good mood?"
"When she tried to take your pants off to wash them, you slapped her hand away and said, 'Get your hands off me! I'm married!'"

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Paranoid Neighbor - Joke

My attractive female neighbor is completely paranoid.


She thinks I'm following or even stalking her, she is worried that I may be obsessed with her and any time she hears a noise in her house she is...purified?
Oh, wait: petrified. Sorry, it's not easy reading a diary through binoculars from a tree.

Wednesday, February 7, 2018

Nude British Lady and Chinese Taxi Driver !


Fully Nude British Lady gets into taxi. Chinese Driver looks at her top to bottom repeatedly..

British Lady asks,
"Haven't u seen a naked woman before?"

Chinese Driver: I no look you naked. I plenty frightened. I look look. Where you keep money pay me?

MORAL:

Be Chinese!
Concentrate on your Business, no matter what!

Saturday, February 3, 2018

One Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet !!!


During winter war soviet general hears someone shouting from wood - "One finnish soldier is better than ten soviet". 

Angry general sends ten man to deal with annoying Fin. After short period of shots and dying soviets screams, comes another shout - 
"One finnish soldier is better than hundred soviet". 

General sends hundred soldier and again none of them comes back. Then general hears third shout - 
"One finnish soldier is better than thousand soviets". 

Furious general sends thousand man to deal with him. 
This time one of his soldiers manage to survive and reports to general - 

"Sir, please don't send more our troops, it's a trap, there's two of them".

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Doctor, Doctor.. A hilarious #Joke

Doctor, Doctor.. A hilarious #Joke 


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