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Showing posts with label Love jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

How much do you love me?


Mrs - How much do you love me? Me - Well, look at the stars and count them. That's how much I love you. Mrs - but, its morning. Me - Exactly.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

This is all your fault!


"This is all your fault!" my wife moaned this morning. "Fucking hell, what have I done now?" I asked her. "Give me a chance to think," she said, "I've only just woke up.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Boyfriend's new Sports car


A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed. "If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes. Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel. "Go and get help!" he cried. "But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!" "Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself." Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!" The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Charges for Love !! - Joke


A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Ex-Girlfriend


The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.

He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Valentines Day Offer !! 100% Free - Bring Both - Funniest offer ever

Valentines Day Offer !! 100% Free - Bring Both - Funniest offer ever 
Dare to do this?


Sunday, February 24, 2013

The Love Dress - Joke


The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's
house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her
daughter-in-law standing naked by the door, "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law
answered. "But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.  
"This is my love dress" the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress?" But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes
me happy too. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be
home from work any minute."

The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. But on the
way home she thought about the love dress. When she got home she got
undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door.
Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

"What in the world are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress" she replied.

"Needs ironing! What's for supper?"
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