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Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts
Showing posts with label husband. Show all posts

Thursday, September 27, 2018

Most Romantic 55 Good Morning Messages For Wife



1. “I don’t care whether my morning coffee is a cappuccino, latte, or a mocha. My favorite coffee is the one that I share with you. Good morning, my love.”


2. “Our marriage is the best proof that TRUE LOVE exists, and you are the best proof that PERFECT WIFE is not a myth. Good morning.”
3. “There may be many beautiful girls but not as you, the day you entered my life my whole world was filled with happiness. You always stood by my side and now I promise you that I will shower you with all my love and time.”

4. “The sun doesn’t rise in the east, it rises right next to me in my bed. Good morning, sunshine.”


[ Read: Love Messages For Wife ]

5. “Every day I wake up and choose to be happy, because you give me a reason to. Good morning, my love!”

6. “I always wanted you as my wife, just like how my heart always needed you as its life. Good morning, dear!”


7. “Our marriage gives me a reason to succeed, a reason to work harder, a reason to face challenges, a reason to smile, and a reason to be alive. Good morning, sweetheart!”

8. “The only hashtag trending in my life, right now and forever, is #YOU. Good morning!”

9. “Life is never perfect. It is full of twists and turns which throw up challenges and problems. But it is all worth because the first thing I see when I wake up are your beautiful eyes. Good morning!”

10. “Every morning I am reminded of my life’s best decision – marrying the most beautiful woman in the world. Good morning, sweetheart!”

11. “Every morning I wake up to the thought of having a beautiful wife and a loving family. I feel thankful for getting more than I could have asked for. I don’t mind if time pauses right now for eternity. Good morning.”

12. “Every morning I feel thankful for two beautiful things – my life and my wife. Good morning.”

13. “My love is not blind, but I am blinded by your sheer beauty. Good morning, baby.”

14. “I may not be a knight in shining armor, but I will always be there to do the best I can. Good morning, my pretty princess!”

15. “We’re supposed to wake up and count our blessings each day. I’ve got it really easy… I just roll over and look at your sweet face.”


16. “Although we are rushed in the morning, I want to take a moment to tell you how much it means to me to see your face when I open my eyes.”


17. “Good morning, honey. Thanks for helping me get out of the house on time, even though I didn’t want to leave you. You’re the best!”

18. “My dear wife, you are my happiness which gives me peace, you are my life which gives me comfort. You are the key to my success. Good morning, my cute wife.

19. “I love you so much, sweetheart, I just don’t know where to start. Maybe because my love for you is like the sunrise, every day it is a new prize. Good morning.”

20. “Every morning I wake up to realize that my life is not ordinary, because I have a wife who is extraordinary. Good morning”.

21. “I always thought that our wedding would be the most beautiful memory of my life but I was wrong. Every day of our marriage is becoming a more beautiful memory.”

22. “Life is never perfect. It is full of twists and turns, and challenges and problems. But it is all worth it because the first thing I see when I wake up is the romantic look in your beautiful eyes. Good morning.”

23. “As the cool morning breeze blows and you open your beautiful eyes, let my unblemished love put a soothing smile on your pretty face. Good morning, darling.”

24. “It takes only a second for me to think of you every morning, but the soothing smile you put on my face lasts through the day. Your smile is my inspiration. Your voice is my motivation. Your love is my happiness. I love you, dear. Good morning!”

25. “Amidst the suffocation caused by life’s problems, your love comes as a breath of fresh air. Love you, my darling!”



26. “Your smile is the only sunshine I need. Good morning!”


27. “Every morning I wake up to my life’s biggest truth – my love for you. Good morning, my love!”

28. “I don’t care whether it’s day or night, as long as I have my beautiful wife in my sight. Good morning!”

29. “Your smile is the only inspiration I need. Your voice is the only motivation I need. Your love is the only happiness I need. Good morning!”

30. “Sweetheart I am right behind you, I support you and I want all your dreams to come true. Good morning. I love you.”

31. “I love gazing at my wife in the morning. Because I know that her eyes hold the key to my future. Good morning.”

32. “Got your coffee and newspaper? Then all that’s missing is my kiss. Good morning!”

33. “I wish I could always be beside you and look into your cute eyes. I would brush my fingers through your hair, as you smile looking at me. Good morning!”

34. “Good morning babe. Just letting you know that no matter what happens, I will love you more than anything else in the world.”

35. “If life is a book and every day a new page, let the first words for today be ‘I love you’ from me to you.”


36. “A million things get me down every day, but every morning I need only one reason to go through it all again – you. Good morning!”

37. “Can’t believe you are not here next to me, but thank God for mobile phones, eh! Good morning, sweetheart!”

38. “I am sending you lots of hugs and kisses wrapped in the warmth of love to say “good morning”. Have a wonderful day!”

39. “I feel like the luckiest person alive knowing that I have someone as amazing as you in my life. Good morning, my love!”


40. “Do you know how good it feels to wake up every day
And know that you are mine
And I am yours?
Good Morning and Love You.”

41. “A smile to start your day,
A prayer to bless your way.
A song to lighten your burden
A message to wish you good day
Good Morning!

42. “With a sweet smile on your face,
And, a cup of coffee in your hand,
All that remains is a good morning message from me.
Have a great morning!”

43. “Wake up, sweetheart!
It’s time to embrace the new day.
Welcome happiness and success,
Good morning!”

44. “My beautiful wife,
Have I ever confessed
That you look so pretty in the morning
That I cannot stop looking at you,
Good morning!”

45. “You are the light of my world,
The music for my heart and
The first thought of my day.
Good Morning, my dear.”


46. “My heart knew that we are meant to be
And my mind is filled with joyThe day you came in my life
You made it complete in every way
And, I just want to say
That you are the reason I am alive!
A very good morning to you!”


47. “There is a reason why I love you so much
There is a reason why I want your touch
A reason why I love your company
A reason why I want you to see
That I cannot live without you
That I truly love you, my love
Wishing you a good morning!”

48. “You look so pretty early in the day
Your smile gives me a reason
That makes me say
Good morning, my pretty wife
You are my life!”

49. “Mornings will come
Then they will go
But I will always be there
I hope you know

50. “The sun will rise
It will go down too
But I will always
Be there for you
Good Morning.”


51. “Nothing makes me sad anymore
Nothing puts me down
Nothing makes me upset
Nothing makes me frown
To make me feel low
Nothing has the power
For I wake up every morning
Thinking of our life together.”

52. “Everyday brings so much more,
To look forward to flying high,
Every moment brings so much delight,
Just being with you makes everything feel right.”

53. “You and I,
Welcome the new day with smile.
We embrace the joy and happiness
And, enjoy our day to the fullest!
Have a great day!
Good morning!”

54. “The beauty of your eyes grows more with the radiance of the morning sun.
So let us wait for the light to shine
As I see my bright future in your sparkling eyes.
Good morning, darling!”

55. “No matter how gloomy the night is,
the best morning always bring my princess’ sweetest kiss.
Sharing this cup of coffee with you
was the dream of my dreams coming true.
Good morning, baby!”

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

A shopping - Husband and wife - Awesome Joke


Husband and wife went shopping to get new dresses for the wife.
After seeing numerous dresses, she shortlisted around 100 and further brought it down to 25.
Out of these, she asked her husband to choose 5 dresses among them.
Then she finally picked up one dress.
It took 5 hours to finalise one dress.
The husband settled the bill and commented :
"Adam was very lucky because he and Eve used to wear only leaves. He need not have wasted too much of time."
Ultimate comment of wife :
"Who knows how many trees Adam had to climb and finally choose the leaves as per the wish of Eve. You are lucky u have to just sit in AC shop..."

Moral : Never argue with a woman while shopping.

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Men Will Be Men !!!


One day a woman wanted to know how the husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. 
So she decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore and after writing she put the letter on the table in the bedroom and then hid under the bed...
When the husband came back home, saw the letter and read it, he replied on the same paper and then began to sing and dance changing his clothes. He got his phone, dialled someone then said: "Hey babe, am just changing clothes then will join you, as for the other fool it has finally dawned on her that I was fooling around with her and has left. I was wrong..really wrong to have married her, I wish I had known you earlier. See you soon honey!" The husband walked out of the room and left. In tears and very upset, the woman got up from under the bed and decided to go and read what the husband wrote on the letter. 
When she got the letter, it said: "I COULD see your feet under the bed, I didn't make any phone call.. I am going to buy bread. Stand up, stop your silly games and prepare me a meal....

I LOVE YOU!"


Friday, February 24, 2017

What are you doing - Joke


A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to investigate. As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing?” “It’s ok,” his father replied. “Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.” The small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face. Several weeks later, the little boy was walking past the bathroom and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to his father. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing now?” “Son, there’s been a change of plan,” his father replied. “Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW.”

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

100 Ways to Date Your Spouse

Here are some ideas to get you started.  
I promise they won't break the bank and you don't even have to leave the house for most of them!


  1. Build a snowman or play in the snow together.  Don't forget the hot chocolate afterwards.
  2. Pull out your favorite board game or card game for a night of friendly competition.
  3. Cook a meal together for someone in need.  Deliver it together with a homemade card.
  4. Go on a hike and take along a picnic.
  5. Pick a home project (like painting or organizing the garage) that you'll both enjoy and work on it together.
  6. Do dinner and a movie from the comfort of your living room.
  7. Volunteer together.  Check out your local animal shelter, soup kitchen, or church for ideas.
  8. Read a book together.
  9. Go see a high school play.
  10. Visit each others grandparents.  Enjoy the stories of when your spouse was little.
  11. Go ice-skating.
  12. Make handmade Valentines together.
  13. Bake and decorate a cake together.
  14. Go sledding or snow-tubing.
  15. Take a class together.  Your local Community Center is a great resource for this!
  16. Browse at your local pet store or animal shelter and play with the puppies.  Even if you can't take one home, you'll enjoy the cuddles.
  17. Check out a coffee shop.  Bonus points if they have live music!
  18. Go to a baseball game (Little League, Minor League, or Major League).
  19. Create a scrapbook of your relationship together or finally put all those pictures into an album!
  20. Visit a local museum.
  21. Plan your dream vacation (even if you can't go).
  22. Take dance classes together.
  23. Visit a local farm.  Many areas have Farm Days or are open to the public on certain days.  
  24. Go play at the park.
  25. Go to the gym together.
  26. Make homemade pizza.
  27. Make a special egg hunt for your spouse.  Fill the eggs with their favorite candy and love notes.
  28. Bake cookies together.
  29. Go to the local zoo.
  30. Find a local Shakespeare in the Park and attend an outdoor production.
  31. Go fishing!
  32. Try out horseback riding.
  33. Play Frisbee Golf.
  34. Pick flowers together and make a beautiful centerpiece for your kitchen table or give them to someone to brighten their day!
  35. Go play mini-golf.
  36. Try your hand at the batting cages.
  37. Dye Easter eggs together.
  38. Spend an evening looking through each others old yearbooks and photo albums.
  39. Take a tour of a historic home or spend the day strolling through a historic Downtown area.
  40. Put together a puzzle.
  41. Plant something or start a garden together.
  42. Hit the driving range.
  43. Go to Cosco (or a local grocery store) and try all the samples!  (Free Lunch!)
  44. Feed the ducks.
  45. Go shooting at a firing range, or make your own out of plastic bottles and use a water gun to knock them down.
  46. Buy some cheap canvases and paint a masterpiece together.
  47. Go hiking.
  48. Make homemade bird feeders.
  49. Go for a bike ride.
  50. Wash the car together and have a water fight.
  51. Lay a blanket in the grass and watch the clouds.
  52. Run a 5K together.
  53. Fill a time capsule together and bury it in your backyard.
  54. Go roller-skaing at a local rink or even in your neighborhood.
  55. Find a free outdoor movie and pack your own snacks.
  56. Make homemade ice cream or popsicles together.
  57. Spend an evening looking at the stars.  You can check out a book on constellations at the library and see how many you can find.
  58. Try out geocaching.
  59. Visit a toy store together (WITHOUT the kids).  You'll be amazed at how fun the toys can be when you're not telling your kids that you can't buy them!
  60. Go to the State or County Fair.
  61. Search for treasures at garage sales.
  62. Catch fireflies.
  63. Go apple picking.
  64. Visit a Farmer's Market together.
  65. Play in the rain.
  66. Make your own Drive-in movie by watching a movie on your laptop in the front yard.
  67. Search for seashells at the beach.
  68. Make s'mores over a campfire.
  69. Take advantage of the free local fireworks displays or buy some of your own and have your own show.
  70. Tour a local chocolate factory and enjoy the free samples.
  71. Grab some other couples for a game of flashlight hide-and-seek.
  72. Join a book club together.
  73. Play darts (at home).
  74. Enjoy a hayride.
  75. Try karaoke or host your own karaoke night.
  76. Make a slideshow together with old family photos.
  77. Go play at the arcade and challenge each other to a game of PacMan or Skee-Ball.
  78. Tour your local fire station.
  79. Go fly a kite!  Better yet, build one together and see if it flies.
  80. Attend a concert in the park.  
  81. Learn origami.
  82. Make a scavenger hunt for your spouse.
  83. Try a new food together.
  84. Play in the leaves.
  85. Carve a pumpkin together.
  86. Visit an aquarium.
  87. Cook a new recipe together.
  88. Write love notes to each other.
  89. Have professional photos taken.
  90. Start a new holiday tradition (for any holiday)
  91. Go for a drive to see Christmas lights.
  92. Get a group together to go caroling.
  93. Challenge each other to a billiards competition.
  94. Make your own homemade ornaments.
  95. Attend a local festival.
  96. Go to a parade or join in a help decorate a float for a local church or organization.
  97. Go test-drive your dream car.
  98. Spend an evening at the batting cages.
  99. Go rock-climbing.
  100. Have a picnic (even if it's only on your living room floor).
Honestly, it doesn't matter WHAT you do.  The most important thing is to have fun with each other and let each other know how much you enjoy spending time with each other.  My husband and I can have fun folding the laundry or cuddling on the couch, especially when the kids are in bed!


It's all in how you approach your relationship.  
Choose joy!  Choose gratitude!  Choose forgiveness!  Choose love!

Friday, August 26, 2016

Marriage Life - Happy Days and Savings




Priya married Hitesh this day. At the end of the wedding party,
Priya’s mother gave her a newly opened bank saving passbook.
With Rs.1000 deposit amount.
Mother: Priya, take this passbook. Keep it as a record of your marriage life.
When there’s something happy and memorable happened in your new life, put some money in.
Write down what it’s about next to the line.
The more memorable the event is, the more money you can put in.
I’ve done the first one for you today.
Do the others with Hitesh.
When you look back after years, you can know how much happiness you’ve had.
Priya shared this with Hitesh when getting home.
They both thought it was a great idea and were anxious to know when the second deposit can be made.
This was what they did after certain time:
- 7 Feb: Rs.100, first birthday celebration for Hitesh after marriage
- 1 Mar: Rs.300, salary raise for Priya
- 20 Mar: Rs.200, vacation trip to Bali
- 15 Apr: Rs.2000, Priya got pregnant
- 1 Jun: Rs.1000, Hitesh got promoted
…. and so on…
However, after years, they started fighting and arguing for trivial things.
They didn’t talk much.
They regretted that they had married the most nasty people in the world…. no more love…
Kind of typical nowadays, huh?
One day Priya talked to her Mother:
‘Mom, we can’t stand it anymore. We agree to divorce.
I can’t imagine how I decided to marry this guy!!!’
Mother: ‘Sure, girl, that’s no big deal.
Just do whatever you want if you really can’t stand it.
But before that, do one thing first.
Remember the saving passbook I gave you on your wedding day?
Take out all money and spend it first.
You shouldn’t keep any record of such a poor marriage.’
Priya thought it was true.
So she went to the bank, waiting at the queue and planning to cancel the account.
While she was waiting, she took a look at the passbook record.
She looked, and looked, and looked.
Then the memory of all the previous joy and happiness just came up her mind.
Her eyes were then filled with tears.
She left and went home.
When she was home, she handed the passbook to Hitesh, asked him to spend the money before getting divorce.
The next day, Hitesh gave the passbook back to Priya.
She found a new deposit of Rs.5000. And a line next to the record:
‘This is the day I notice how much I’ve loved you thru out all these years.
How much happiness you’ve brought me.’
They hugged and cried, putting the passbook back to the safe.
Do you know how much money they had saved when they retired?
I did not ask.
I believe the money did not matter anymore after they had gone thru all the good years in their life.

P.S.: Life is about the moments you create, that u can keep it with you FOREVER. After everything is over, THAT is what we have or what we are left with.

Friday, February 5, 2016

The Prisoner


A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns (obviously an American story)
and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed
he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes to the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict,
look at his clothes! He has probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman
in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist,
don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much
he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous if he gets angry,
he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey, I love you."

To which the wife responded, "he wasn't kissing my neck, he was whispering in my ear.
He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline.
I told him it was in the bathroom.
Be strong, honey, I love you too."

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Newly Married and For Sale - Joke

Newly married husband puts a notice in front of his residence:
FOR SALE
Computer and Encyclopedia both in good condition. 

Reason for selling: No longer needed. Got married. Wife knows EVERYTHING ...with backup server called
"Mother In Law "😂😂😜😜



Friday, August 10, 2012

Divorce Next Year...

Divorce Next Year...

A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce. Judge asked:
How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Satan


One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church.
Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared at the front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate.
Soon everyone was evacuated from the Church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.
Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

Monday, July 16, 2012

Ghost !!!


Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. 

Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband shouted , "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. 

A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?" "Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied. "Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a ghost, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll Give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

 "Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for! the rest of my life." "No problem," said the ghost. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!" "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the ghost asked. 

"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said. "Consider it done," the ghost said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire,burglary and natural disasters!" "And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, ghost?" " Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife." 

The husband looked at his wife and said, "honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?" She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?" "You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"

 So the ghost and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The ghost was insatiable. After about three hours of non-stop fun, the ghost rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?" "Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

Ghost smiles –

"Really???
Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in ghosts???"


Monday, June 18, 2012

I live......


Friday, June 1, 2012

Phone Call - Joke





The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened
with relief to the kindly voice in her ear.


"How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?"


"Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such
a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't
had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I
have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and I'm supposed
to have two couples over for dinner tonight."


The mother was shocked and was at once all sympathy.


"Oh, darling," she said, "sit down, relax, and close your eyes. I'll be over
in half an hour. I'll do your shopping, clean up the house, and cook your
dinner for you. I'll feed the baby and I'll call a repairman I know who'll
be at your house to fix the washing machine promptly. Now stop crying. I'll
do everything. In fact, I'll even
call George at the office and tell him he ought to come home and help out
for once."


"George?" said the housewife. "Who's George?"


"Why, George! Your husband!... Isn't this 223-1374?"


"No, this is 232-1374."


"Oh, I'm sorry. I guess I have the wrong number."


There was a short pause and the housewife said,


"Does this mean you're not coming over?"



Thursday, May 31, 2012

Mother In Law - Joke



A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law. 
As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway.
 I know he replied, I thought I saw her move!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Matrimonial Ads



Matrimonial ads



FISHERMAN
Wife wanted, must be able to dig, clean, cook worms
and clean fish. Must have own boat with motor. Please
send photograph of motorboat.

SALESMAN
Once in a lifetime offer, to get yourself the
original, genuine article. One of the most handsome and
smartest bachelor's around is now looking for a wife.
And you could be the lucky one he chooses! Has own
house, car and successful career!

ECONOMIST
I am in demand of a wife. Supply is great though my
requirements are high. However the Elasticity of my
demands should not bear too heavy a burden
upon the national interest.

MATHEMATICIAN
Wife required to complete the formula of my life. Must
be numerate and understand complex algebraic
logarithms. Needed to help further my family
unit.

IT CONSULTANT
Well there is definite room for improvement in my
life. The speed of my current flows of information and
processes is slowing down and the injection of a wife
into my life is bound to improve efficiency.
Compatibility could be an issue.

BUSINESS MAN
Wife wanted for company.

POLITICIAN
I feel there is a need in this world, to improve the
ways we live, to harmonize the processes of life and
to build upon past differences and short comings. I
believe that we the people need someone to share our
lives. To feel the joys of parent hood, and bear the
social responsibilities, as we should in a civilized
society..... ......... ... (etc
etc and never getting to the point)

CAR DEALER
Wanted a sturdy, reliable, low depreciating wife.
Should be in excellent working condition. Resale value also important!

FARMER
Wanted a wife from good stock. Required for breeding.

LAWYER
I hereby propose to solicit myself as an eligible
candidate for the post of wife after marriage. The
person whom I'm looking for should be strictly -a
girl. The girl should be strictly a girl, with
evidence to support this view that she is a girl. The
girl should be willing to surrender to the service and
jurisdiction of My Lord i.e. Myself. Any objections
would be overruled and will not be sustained. Apply in
limited confidence as all liabilities are null and
void in the event of failure on our part of any
kind whatsoever.

PILOT
Wife required to complete my life. Please, only level
headed applicants. She must not have her heads in the
clouds, but have her feet firmly on the
ground. Her heart must be in it for the long haul. And
she absolutely must also be aerodynamically sound!!!


BANKER
Wanted wife who takes interest in me and credits me
with her service.


ACCOUNTANT
Required a girl - 5'8' & 36' 24' 36' with a good head
for figures. She must
be averse to making unnecessary expenditure and her
very nature should be
one of generating as few expenses in my life as
possible. She should profit
from a nice personality and be a credit to her family.

SHARABI
Wanted a girl. Girl's father should preferably have a
spirits factory. I am an occasional alcoholic who
drinks only when friends come round. Friends
come round only seven times a week. Girl preferred who
can carry me from bar to ghar-bar. Meet personally in
a bar or send drinks for trial. Sample should be
ample.

MINICAB DRIVER
Hello! Hello! number 9 calling. This is number 9 I'm
calling from x-ud, a wife is needed to pick me
up. Driving license not necessary, but map
reading skills are a bonus.


BUILDER
Wanted a wife to help build upon the foundations of my
life. Must be homely
and willing to build relationship from the ground up.

DOCTOR
I am looking for a wife to cure the emptiness in my
life. However if you feel the need for a second
opinion then it's fine by me.

ARMY COMMANDO
My mission in life is to find myself the perfect wife.
Successful applicants must be able to use a penknife
and a compass. She who dares
wins. Camouflage provided.

RACE CAR DRIVER
A model wife required to fit in with my fast track
life. Must be able to
keep pace!

ASTRONAUT
I'm searching for a wife to fill the space in my life.
Someone to share my universe. Must have looks that are
out of this world


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

WEDDING CAKE



A Doctor at a health conference said,
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG.
High fat diets can be destructive,
and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it.
Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of silence, a 70-year-old man sitting in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."


Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Anger Management ????


Anger management?  

Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'
Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'
 
Husband: 'How does that help?'
 
Wife: 'I use your toothbrush ...'






Monday, April 12, 2010

Hot Husband..

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