Custom Search

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Smoking and Non smoking





Smoking INJURES your Health
No-Smoking INSURES your health

Smoking BATTERS your Health
No-Smoking BETTERS your health

Smoking ENDURES poor Health
No-Smoking ENSURES good health

Smoking TORTURE your Health
No-Smoking NURTURE your health

Smoking PACK-UP your Health
No-Smoking BACK-UP your health

Smoking MEDDLE your Health
No-Smoking METTLE your health

Smoking SHOOT your Health
No-Smoking SOOTHE your health

Smoking SLICE your Health
No-Smoking SPLICE your health

Smoking BEND your Health
No-Smoking MEND your health

Smoking BEND your Health
No-Smoking TEND your health

Smoking END your Health
No-Smoking M END your health

Smoking SCARES your Health
No-Smoking CARES your health

Smoking DE-LIGHT your Health
No-Smoking DELIGHT your health

Smoking UPSET your Health
No-Smoking SET-UP your health

Smoking FAIL your Health
No-Smoking BAIL your health

Smoking TEAR your Health
No-Smoking STEER your health

Smoking STALL your Health
No-Smoking INSTALL your health

Smoking DEFORM your Health
No-Smoking REFORM your health

Smoking EXCEL your Health
No-Smoking EXPEL your health

Smoking IMPAIRS your Health
No-Smoking IMPROVES your health

Smoking bring a CLOWN image
No-Smoking bring a CLEAN image




Artist ....




No Smoking Slogans



  • Arsenic kills if you swallow it; tobacco kills if you smoke it.
  • Be Cool - Don't Be a Smoking Fool.
  • Be smart don't start.
  • Breathe healthily, live happily.
  • Cancer cures smoking.
  • Chicks really dig pre-cancerous lungs.
  • Cigarettes burn holes in your pocket.
  • Cough twice for Philip Morris.
  • Did you know your mouth is on fire?
  • Don't be a butthead. Smoking kills.
  • Don't be a Kool Fool.
  • Don't puff your life away.
  • Don't smoke you will choke!
  • Don't smoke - there are cooler ways to die.
  • Everyone has a right to clean air.
  • Hang Tough, Don't Puff!
  • Health is wealth.
  • How the Tobacco Industry Killed American Soldiers
  • I like smoking. It kills off a lot of stupid people.
  • I quit because my kids love me.
  • I would give up smoking but I’m not a quitter.
  • If God had wanted us to smoke, he would have given us a separate hole for it.
  • If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.
  • If you can’t stop smoking, cancer will.
  • If you don’t smoke, I won’t fart!
  • If you smoke, you're a joke.
  • If you think smoking is cool, you're a fool.
  • Is smoking good for business? Not if you want long-term customers.
  • Kissing a smoker is like licking an ashtray.
  • Live it or Burn it...
  • Make your choices, it's your life.
  • No smoke no life, but No life with smoke.
  • Please keep smoking. Our planet is overcrowded.
  • Put it out before it puts you out.
  • Put your money where your butt is.
  • Quit smoking. It kills!
  • Quit smoking before smoking quits you.
  • Save a fortune on Botox - quit smoking now!
  • Save Money - Quit Smoking!
  • Save your lungs, save your life.
  • Share clean air.
  • Smoke away your worries, not your lungs.
  • Smoke can cause a slow and painful death.
  • Smoke. Stink. Die.
  • Smokers are Jokers - Don't Smoke.
  • Smokers don’t get to smoke, they have to smoke.
  • Smoking - Suicide for Cowards.
  • Smoking cigarettes is so yesterday.
  • Smoking is a stupid habit for really stupid people.
  • Smoking is bad for your sex life.
  • Smoking is like paying someone to kill you. They’re rich; you’re dead.
  • Smoking is very glamorous, if you like deep wrinkles.
  • Smoking kills.
  • Smoking makes no cents.
  • Smoking makes you ugly.
  • Smoking Stinks!
  • Smoking? You must be joking...
  • Stop smoking, or you will be croaking. 
  • STOP...and take a step in the right direction!
  • QUIT NOW...Your life depends on it.
  • THINK... about it.
  • Tar the roads, not your lungs.
  • Thank you for not smoking.
  • The Cigarette is dead.
  • The Marlboro Man Died of Lung Cancer.
  • There are cooler ways to die than smoking.
  • Tobacco companies kill their best customers.
  • Too much smoke will leave you broke.
  • Trash the Ash.
  • Weapons of mass destruction.
  • When you smoke, everyone can smell you coming.
  • When you smoke, you are not cool. In the end, however, you are extinct. 
  • Who’s going to retire on your hard-earned dollars… you or some tobacco company executive?
  • Winston Tastes Good, Like a Carcinogen Should.
  • You don't want to smell my butt, don't make me smell yours
  • You smoke, you die early, you save the government money.
  • You take my breath away. 
  • You're a fool if you think smoking is cool.
  • Your freedom ends where my nose begins.
  • Your Money Going Up in Smoke

Monday, May 30, 2011

Bronze Rat and Big story..



A Sri lankan tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco.

Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very lifelike,

Life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag,

But is so striking he decides he must have it.

He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?"

"Twelve dollars for the rat, one hundred dollars for the Story,"says the owner.

The tourist gives the man twelve dollars.

"I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story."


As he walks down the street carrying his bronze rat,

He notices that a few real rats crawl out of the alleys

And sewers and begin following him down the street.

This is disconcerting; he begins walking faster.

But within a couple blocks, the herd of rats behind

Him grows to hundreds, and they begin squealing.



He begins to trot toward the Bay, looking around to see

That the rats now numbered in the MILLIONS, and are still

Squealing and coming toward him faster and faster.



Concerned, even scared, he runs to the edge of the Bay

And throws the bronze rat as far out into the Bay as he

Can. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jump into the Bay

After it, and are all drowned.



The man walks back to the curio shop.


"Ah ha," says the owner, "You have come back for the Story?"

"No," says the man, "I came back to see if you have a statue of an Sri lankan politician in bronze!!



Friday, May 27, 2011

Top 10 Dumbest Criminals





 

RUNNER-UP #9
Yankton, South Dakota: A woman was arrested at her step son's Boy Scout meeting. While watching a policeman demonstrate his drug dog's ability, the dog found a bag of grass in her purse.


 
RUNNER-UP #8
Colorado Springs: A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but he refused and said "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he didn't believe him. At this point the robber took his drivers license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.

RUNNER-UP #7
A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

RUNNER-UP #6
San Francisco: A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police before he reached the teller window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he was not the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said "OK" and left. The Wells Fargo teller then called the police who arrested the man a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.
 

 
RUNNER-UP #5
From England: A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for 40 Pounds and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of 40 Pounds. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture...of handcuffs. The motorist promptly sent the money for the fine.

RUNNER-UP #4
Drug Possession Defendant Christopher Jansen, on trial in March in Pontiac, Michigan, said he had been searched without a warrant. The prosecutor said the officer didn't need a warrant because a "bulge" in Christopher's jacket could have been a gun. "Nonsense," said Christopher, who happened to be wearing the same jacket that day in court. He handed it over so the judge could see it. The judge discovered a packet of cocaine in the pocket and laughed so hard he required a five minute recess to compose himself.

RUNNER-UP #3
Oklahoma City: Dennis Newton was on trial for the armed robbery of a convenience store in district court when he fired his lawyer. Assistant district attorney Larry Jones said Newton, 47, was doing a fair job of defending himself until the store manager testified that Newton was the robber. Newton jumped up, accused the woman of lying and then said, "I should of blown your (expletive) head off." The defendant paused, then quickly added, "If I'd been the one that was there." The jury took 20 minutes to convict Newton and recommended a 30-year sentence.


 
RUNNER-UP #2
Detroit: R.C. Gaitlan, 21, walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer felon-location equipment to children in a Detroit neighborhood. When he asked how the system worked, the officer asked him for identification. Gaitlan gave them his drivers license, they entered it into the computer, and moments later they arrested Gaitlan because information on the screen showed Gaitlan was wanted for a two-year-old armed robbery in St. Louis, Missouri. 

RUNNER-UP #1
Another from Detroit: A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

THE WINNER!
A Charlotte, NC, man having purchased a case of very rare, very expensive cigars, insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of cigars and without having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the man filed a claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the man stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The man sued....and won. In delivering the ruling the judge agreeing that the claim was frivolous, stated nevertheless that the man held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure against fire, without defining what it considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid the man $15,000 for the rare cigars he lost in "the fires." After the man cashed the check, however, the company had him arrested on 24 counts of arson. With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the man was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine.





Dolls...! Dolls...! Dolls...! Dolls...!












Thursday, May 26, 2011

50 COMMON INTERVIEW QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS

50 COMMON INTERVIEW QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS



Review these typical interview questions and think about how you would answer them. Read the questions listed; you will also find some strategy suggestions with it.

1. Tell me about yourself:
The most often asked question in interviews. You need to have a short statement prepared in your mind. Be careful that it does not sound rehearsed. Limit it to work-related items unless instructed otherwise. Talk about things you have done and jobs you have held that relate to the position you are interviewing  for. Start with the item farthest back and work up to the present.

2. Why did you leave your last job?
Stay positive regardless of the circumstances. Never refer to a major problem with management and never speak ill of supervisors, co-workers or the organization. If you do, you will be the one looking bad. Keep smiling and talk about leaving for a positive reason such as an opportunity, a chance to do something special or other forward-looking reasons.

3. What experience do you have in this field?
Speak about specifics that relate to the position you are applying for. If you do not have specific experience, get as close as you can.

4. Do you consider yourself successful?
You should always answer yes and briefly explain why. A good explanation is that you have set goals, and you have met some and are on track to achieve the others.

5. What do co-workers say about you?
Be prepared with a quote or two from co-workers. Either a specific statement or a paraphrase will work. Jill Clark, a co-worker at Smith Company, always said I was the hardest workers she had ever known. It is as powerful as Jill having said it at the interview herself.

6. What do you know about this organization?
This question is one reason to do some research on the organization before the interview. Find out where they have been and where they are going. What are the current issues and who are the major players?

7. What have you done to improve your knowledge in the last year?
Try to include improvement activities that relate to the job. A wide variety  of activities can be mentioned as positive self-improvement. Have some good  ones handy to mention.

8. Are you applying for other jobs?
Be honest but do not spend a lot of time in this area. Keep the focus on this job and what you can do for this organization. Anything else is a distraction.

9. Why do you want to work for this organization?
This may take some thought and certainly, should be based on the research you have done on the organization. Sincerity is extremely important here and will easily be sensed. Relate it to your long-term career goals.

10. Do you know anyone who works for us?
Be aware of the policy on relatives working for the organization. This can affect your answer even though they asked about friends not relatives. Be careful to mention a friend only if they are well thought of.


11. What kind of salary do you need?
A loaded question. A nasty little game that you will probably lose if you answer first. So, do not answer it. Instead, say something like, That's a tough question. Can you tell me the range for this position? In most cases, the interviewer, taken off guard, will tell you. If not, say that it can depend on the details of the job. Then give a wide range.

12. Are you a team player?
You are, of course, a team player. Be sure to have examples ready. Specifics that show you often perform for the good of the team rather than for yourself are good evidence of your team attitude. Do not brag, just say it in a matter-of-fact tone. This is a key point.

13. How long would you expect to work for us if hired?
Specifics here are not good. Something like this should work: I'd like it to be a long time. Or As long as we both feel I'm doing a good job.

14. Have you ever had to fire anyone? How did you feel about that?
This is serious. Do not make light of it or in any way seem like you like to fire people. At the same time, you will do it when it is the right thing to  do. When it comes to the organization versus the individual who has created a harmful situation, you will protect the organization. Remember firing is not the same as layoff or reduction in force.

15. What is your philosophy towards work?
The interviewer is not looking for a long or flowery dissertation here. Do you have strong feelings that the job gets done? Yes. That's the type of answer that works best here. Short and positive, showing a benefit to the organization.

16. If you had enough money to retire right now, would you?
Answer yes if you would. But since you need to work, this is the type of work you prefer. Do not say yes if you do not mean it.

17. Have you ever been asked to leave a position?
If you have not, say no. If you have, be honest, brief and avoid saying negative things about the people or organization involved.

18. Explain how you would be an asset to this organization
You should be anxious for this question. It gives you a chance to highlight your best points as they relate to the position being discussed. Give a little advance thought to this relationship.

19. Why should we hire you?
Point out how your assets meet what the organization needs. Do not mention any other candidates to make a comparison.

20. Tell me about a suggestion you have made
Have a good one ready. Be sure and use a suggestion that was accepted and was then considered successful. One related to the type of work applied for is a real plus.

21. What irritates you about co-workers?
This is a trap question. Think real hard but fail to come up with anything that irritates you. A short statement that you seem to get along with folks is great.

22. What is your greatest strength?
Numerous answers are good, just stay positive. A few good examples:
Your ability to prioritize, Your problem-solving skills, Your ability to work under pressure, Your ability to focus on projects, Your professional expertise, Your leadership skills,  Your positive attitude


23. Tell me about your dream job.
Stay away from a specific job. You cannot win. If you say the job you are contending for is it, you strain credibility. If you say another job is it, you plant the suspicion that you will be dissatisfied with this position if hired. The best is to stay genetic and say something like: A job where I love the work, like the people, can contribute and can't wait to get to work.

24. Why do you think you would do well at this job?
Give several reasons and include skills, experience and interest.

25. What are you looking for in a job?
See answer # 23

26. What kind of person would you refuse to work with?
Do not be trivial. It would take disloyalty to the organization, violence or lawbreaking to get you to object. Minor objections will label you as a whiner.

27. What is more important to you: the money or the work?
Money is always important, but the work is the most important. There is no better answer.

28. What would your previous supervisor say your strongest point is?
There are numerous good possibilities:
Loyalty, Energy, Positive attitude, Leadership, Team player, Expertise, Initiative, Patience, Hard work, Creativity, Problem solver

29. Tell me about a problem you had with a supervisor
Biggest trap of all. This is a test to see if you will speak ill of your boss. If you fall for it and tell about a problem with a former boss, you may well below the interview right there. Stay positive and develop a poor memory about any trouble with a supervisor.

30. What has disappointed you about a job?
Don't get trivial or negative. Safe areas are few but can include:
Not enough of a challenge. You were laid off in a reduction Company did not win a contract, which would have given you more responsibility.

31. Tell me about your ability to work under pressure.
You may say that you thrive under certain types of pressure. Give an example that relates to the type of position applied for.

32. Do your skills match this job or another job more closely?
Probably this one. Do not give fuel to the suspicion that you may want another job more than this one.

33. What motivates you to do your best on the job?
This is a personal trait that only you can say, but good examples are:
 Challenge,  Achievement,  Recognition

34. Are you willing to work overtime? Nights? Weekends?
This is up to you. Be totally honest.

35. How would you know you were successful on this job?
Several ways are good measures:
You set high standards for yourself and meet them. Your outcomes are a success.Your boss tell you that you are successful

36. Would you be willing to relocate if required?
You should be clear on this with your family prior to the interview if you think there is a chance it may come up. Do not say yes just to get the job if the real answer is no. This can create a lot of problems later on in your career. Be honest at this point and save yourself future grief.

37. Are you willing to put the interests of the organization ahead of your own?
This is a straight loyalty and dedication question. Do not worry about the deep ethical and philosophical implications. Just say yes.

38. Describe your management style.
Try to avoid labels. Some of the more common labels, like progressive, salesman or consensus, can have several meanings or descriptions depending on which management expert you listen to. The situational style is safe, because it says you will manage according to the situation, instead of one size fits all.

39. What have you learned from mistakes on the job?
Here you have to come up with something or you strain credibility. Make it small, well intentioned mistake with a positive lesson learned. An example would be working too far ahead of colleagues on a project and thus throwing coordination off.

40. Do you have any blind spots?
Trick question. If you know about blind spots, they are no longer blind spots. Do not reveal any personal areas of concern here. Let them do their own discovery on your bad points. Do not hand it to them.

41. If you were hiring a person for this job, what would you look for?
Be careful to mention traits that are needed and that you have.

42. Do you think you are overqualified for this position?
Regardless of your qualifications, state that you are very well qualified for the position.

43. How do you propose to compensate for your lack of experience?
First, if you have experience that the interviewer does not know about, bring that up: Then, point out (if true) that you are a hard working quick learner.

44. What qualities do you look for in a boss?
Be generic and positive. Safe qualities are knowledgeable, a sense of humor, fair, loyal to subordinates and holder of high standards. All bosses think they have these traits.

45. Tell me about a time when you helped resolve a dispute between others.
Pick a specific incident. Concentrate on your problem solving technique and not the dispute you settled.

46. What position do you prefer on a team working on a project?
Be honest. If you are comfortable in different roles, point that out.

47. Describe your work ethic.
Emphasize benefits to the organization. Things like, determination to get the job done and work hard but enjoy your work are good.

48. What has been your biggest professional disappointment?
Be sure that you refer to something that was beyond your control. Show acceptance and no negative feelings.

49. Tell me about the most fun you have had on the job.
Talk about having fun by accomplishing something for the organization.
  
50. Do you have any questions for me?
Always have some questions prepared. Questions prepared where you will be an asset to the organization are good. How soon will I be able to be productive? and What type of projects will I be able to assist on? are examples.





Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Ohhhh Noooooo.. New Looooo




Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Obama & the Canadian PM


Obama & the Canadian PM


President Obama and the Canadian PM are shown a time machine which can see 50 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each.

President Obama goes first: "What will the USA be like in 50 years’ time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out: "The country is in good hands under the new president, José Fernandez.... crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. Vice President Jin Tao has declared Chinese language mandatory in all USA schools there are no worries."

The Canadian PM thinks, "It's not bad, this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks: "What will Canada be like in 50 years’ time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout. But he just stares at it.

"Come on, Stephen " says Obama, "Tell us what it says."

"I can't!
It's all in Tamil!"


Monday, May 23, 2011

The Country Doctor



A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a
doctor who was retiring.
The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, 'I've been a little sick to my stomach'

The older doctor says, 'Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?'

As they left, the younger man said, 'You didn't even examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?'

'I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there?
When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash.
That was what probably was making her sick.'

'Huh,' the younger doctor said. 'Pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house.'

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with
a younger woman.
She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said,
'I'm feeling terribly run down lately.'

'You've probably been doing too much work for the Church,'
the younger doctor told her.
'Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.'

As they left, the elder doctor said,
'I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?'
“I did what you did at the last house.
I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Boys n Girls While Using ATM

Difference between Boys and Girls while using ATM


Boys:

1. Drive to the bank, park and go to the Cash Dispenser.
2. Insert card
3. Dial code and desired amount
4. Take the cash, the card and the slip 



Girls:


1. Drive to the bank
2. Engine stalled
3. Check make-up in the mirror
4. Apply perfume
5. Manually check haircut
6. Park the car - failure
7. Park the car - failure
8. Park the car - Success
9. Search for the card in the handbag
10. Insert card, rejected by the machine
11. Throw phone card back in handbag,
12. Look for bank card.
13. Insert Card
14. Look for Secret Box (where secret code is written)in Handbag
15. Enter code
16. Study instructions for 2 minutes
17. #Cancel#
18. Re-enter code
19. #Cancel#
20. Call Boyfriend/husband to get correct the code


21. Enter desired amount
22. #Error#
23. Enter bigger amount
24. #Error#
25. Enter maximum amount
27. Take cash
28. Go back to the car
29. Check make up in rear mirror
30. Look for keys in handbag
31. Start car
32. Drive 50 meters
33. STOP
34. Drive back to bank machine
35. Go out of the car
36. Take card and ticket back from machine
37. Go back to the car
38. Throw card on passenger seat
39. Throw slip on the floor
40. Check make up in rear mirror
41. Manually check haircut
42. Go into roundabout - wrong way
43. BRAKE
44. Go into roundabout - right way
45. Drive 5 kilometers
46. Remove hand brake

47. Call boyfriend/husband to tell how miserable she was because of HIM.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

A TC in a train collects fine from girls...


A TC in a train collects fine from girls...




    A TC in a train collects fine from girls...

he collects Rs.300 from a girl-








she was wearing sleeveless.
  from 2nd girl he collects Rs. 200








she was wearing  sleeveless & backless.

From 3rd girl he collects Rs. 100








she was wearing a sleeveless & backless &
a skimpy mini-skirt...

 
  From 4th girl he collects Rs. 0
  why?

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  perverted dirty minds !! what r u thinking??







 
  she had a ticket !!!


WATCH OUT GUYS PROPERLY.......CONFFFUUSSSIOOONN











Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Share/Save/Bookmark