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Showing posts with label college jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 29, 2018

The wait, wait, and wait.. - The Prom dance night


So there was this slightly introverted high school student who had never asked a girl to a dance. It’s his senior year and he feels that he should go to prom. So he musters up the courage and asks one of his friends. She says yes. Now he has to prepare for the dance. 

The next day, he goes to buy his tickets, and there is a huge line. So he waits, and waits, and waits, then he finally gets the tickets. The next day, he goes with his date to go get a dress. When they get to the store, there is a huge line going out the door. So the wait, they wait, and they wait. 

Finally, they get to the front and buy a dress. After this, they go to men’s warehouse to get him a suit for the dance, and there is a huge line going out the door. So they wait, wait, and wait. Finally they get in and buy a nice suit. 

The next day, he remembers that he needs to order a corsage. So he goes to the local store and there is a huge line. So he waits, waits, and waits until he gets his order in. Now it’s the day before prom and he wakes up and realizes that he forgot to order a limo, so he calls up the limo rental place. 

All the lines are busy so he decides to go into the place. When he gets there, he sees the line stretching out the door and around the corner. So he waits, and waits, and waits, until finally he was lucky enough to get the very last limo. 

So now it’s the night of the dance and when they get to the prom, the school is doing mandatory drug testing, so there is a huge line getting into the prom. So the wait, wait, and wait. Finally they get to the front and they both pass their drug tests. 

Now the dance was going pretty good for about a half an hour, until he really, really had to go to the bathroom. So he takes off to go, and he sees this huge line going out of the bathroom. He waits, waits, and waits until he finally takes care of his business. 

When he comes out of the bathroom, he notices that a crowd has formed around his date. She had just randomly passed out. Someone says to him, “hey, you’re her date, go get her some punch.” So he goes over to the punch table and thank god, there is no punch line.

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Four kids and Fishing - School Joke


Four high school kids who carpooled together decided to skip school and spend the day fishing.

The next day they told the teacher that they had had a flat tire, and couldn't make it to class.

Much to their relief, she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a pop quiz yesterday, so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper." Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.

Once they were seated and ready, she said: "First Question: Which tire was flat?" 

Monday, February 20, 2017

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

The Ultimate Rejection Letter



Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA  34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,
Chris L. Jensen

Thursday, October 6, 2016

That Legal - Logical question - Joke


A student failed in law & decided to make a deal with professor.
Sir, do you know everything about law?
Prof: Yes.
Student: If you can answer this question, i will accept my final marks, if you cant, you have to give me "A" Grade.
Professor agreed.
Boy asked: "What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal & neither legal nor logical?"
Prof thought about it for hours & pondered no answer.
He had to finally give up as he really did not know.
He gave the boy his "A" Grade.
The following day, professor asked same question to his students.
He was shocked when all of them raised their hands.
He asked one student.
He answered: Sir, you are 65, married to 28 yrs old woman, this is legal but not logical.
Your wife, is having an affair with a 23 year old boy, this is logical but not legal.
Your wife's boyfriend has failed in his exam & yet you have given him an "A" Grade, This is neither logical nor legal.
The professor collapsed...

Friday, September 30, 2016

This is our Brain

This is our Brain 


Friday, August 26, 2016

WTF !!! - An athletic scholarship - Joke


There was an athlete who wanted to accept a scholarship to a well-known college. To be awarded it, however, he had to pass a physical, since it was an athletic scholarship. 

When Tim found out about the scholarship, he called his friends all to come over to his house to help him celebrate. They got plastered, and several of the friends had "donated" marjuana. 

The next morning, realizing that he would be asked to provide a urine sample, he knew the marijuana would show up in it. He had a brainstorm!! 

Calling his girlfriend on the phone, he said, "Hey, Patti I need a favour. Can you give me a small jar of urine? I'll need it for the physical tomorrow, and we kinda let things go here." 

Patti agreed, and within an hour, she came over, carrying a small mayo jar of yellow liquid. 

Tim thanked her, and he proceeded to take the "sample" to the college physical with him the next day. When the doctor asked him for a sample, he went into the restroom, and poured the urine Patti had given him into the vial. 

All was fine -- he thought!! 

Two days later, the athletic director at the college called Tim, and said, "I'm afraid we have to withdraw the scholarship offer." 

"WHY?" asked Tim. 

"We just cannot," said the A.D., "have a pregnant man on our football team!"
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