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Thursday, December 28, 2017

Sri Lankans are the Best in the World !!



Mathematician: How do you write 4 in between 5?
China: Is this a Joke?
Japan: Impossible!
America: The question's wrong.
UK: Not found on the Internet.
 
Lankan:  F(IV)E

This is the reason you find srilankans everywhere in the world...
in finance, business, medicine, engineering....
anything to do with using your brain.

British: Can u Swim?
Lankan: No
British:  Then a Dog is Better than you because It Swims.
Lankan: Can you Swim?
British: Yes!
Lankan: Then What's the Difference between you and the Dog…
British Shocked, srilanakan Rocks! ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ˜œ ๐Ÿ˜‚ . . .
Britisher : WHY are you srilankans differ in colors, look we are all white..?
Lankans: Horses are in different colors but donkeys r all the same..!

Friday, December 22, 2017

Sex with the priest's wife

Sex with the priest's wife.



Jack goes to his buddy Bob and says ... "I'm sleeping with the priest's wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after mass for me?" The friend doesn't like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After mass, 

Bob starts talking to the priest, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the priest gets annoyed and asks him what he's really up to. 

Bob feeling guilty, finally confesses to the priest... "My friend is sleeping with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied."

The priest smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Bob's shoulder and says... "You better hurry home now. My wife died a year ago".


Monday, December 18, 2017

*BITCOIN* - A Monkey story



A lot of monkeys lived near a village.๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’

One day a merchant came to the village to buy these monkeys!๐Ÿต๐Ÿต๐Ÿต๐Ÿต๐Ÿต๐Ÿต

He announced that he will buy the monkeys @ $100 each. ๐Ÿต๐Ÿ’ต

The villagers thought that this man is mad.๐Ÿ˜‡

They thought how can somebody buy stray monkeys at $100 each?๐Ÿค”

Still, some people caught some monkeys and gave it to this merchant and he gave $100 for each monkey. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

This news spread like wildfire and people caught monkeys and sold it to the merchant.๐Ÿ˜ฌ

After a few days, the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys @ 200 each. ๐Ÿต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต

The lazy villagers also ran around to catch the remaining monkeys!๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’

They sold the remaining monkeys @ 200 each.๐Ÿ˜‹

Then the merchant announced that he will buy monkeys @ 500 each!
๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต

The villagers start to lose sleep! ... They caught six or seven monkeys, which was all that was left and got 500 each.๐Ÿ™Š๐Ÿต๐Ÿต๐Ÿต๐Ÿต๐Ÿต๐Ÿ’

The villagers were waiting anxiously for the next announcement.๐Ÿ™„

Then the merchant announced that he is going home for a week.  And when he returns, he will buy monkeys @ 1000 each!๐Ÿต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต

He asked his employee to take care of the monkeys he bought.  He was alone taking care of all the monkeys in a cage.๐Ÿค ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’

The merchant went home.๐Ÿ˜Ž

The villagers were very sad as there were no more monkeys left for them to sell it at $1000 each.☹️๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜“

Then the employee told them that he will sell some monkeys @ 700 each secretly. ๐Ÿ˜ถ

This news spread like fire.  Since the merchant buys monkey @ 1000 each, there is a 300 profit for each monkey.๐Ÿ˜ฌ

The next day, villagers made a queue near the monkey cage.๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿต๐Ÿ’๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘๐Ÿค‘

The employee sold all the monkeys at 700 each.  The rich bought monkeys in big lots.  The poor borrowed money from money lenders and also bought monkeys!
๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต๐Ÿ’ต

The villagers took care of their monkeys & waited for the merchant to return. ๐Ÿ˜•

But nobody came! ...๐Ÿ˜ค Then they ran to the employee...๐Ÿค 

But he has already left too !๐Ÿ˜‰

The villagers then realised that they have bought the useless stray monkeys @ 700 each and unable to sell them! ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜จ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
The Bitcoin will be the next monkey business
๐Ÿ˜œ

It will make a lot of people bankrupt and a few people filthy rich in this monkey business. ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜…

That' how it will work๐Ÿคฃ


Thursday, December 14, 2017

WHY MEN ARE SO HONEST - New Version Story

*WHY MEN ARE SO HONEST*

New Version Story 




If you are female and reading this article then just realize the value of a man; and if male, then feel proud after reading it!

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, *"Why are you crying?"*
The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water and he needed it to make a living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a *Golden Axe*. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied: *"No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a Silver Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. Again, the woodcutter replied: "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an Iron Axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked. The woodcutter replied: *"Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all 3 Axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him: "Why are you crying?"
*"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Deepika Padukone.
"Is this your wife?" the Lord asked. 
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!" 
The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said 'NO' to  Deepika padukone , you would have come up with KATRINA. Then if I said 'NO' to her, you would have come up with *MY WIFE*. Had I then said 'YES,' you would have given me all 3.*
Lord, I'm a poor man, & not able to take care of 3 wives, so THAT'S why I said YES to Deepika."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a *good and honorable reason and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it

*MEN ARE TRULY HONORABLE!*
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜ƒ
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