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Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Too Late..


As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden’s funeral, a voice from inside screams: “I’m not dead, I’m not dead. Let me out!”
The Vicar smiles, leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters: “Too late pal, I’ve already done the paperwork.”

Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Best and Funniest One liners



  1. What is Bruce Lee’s favorite drink? Wataaaaah!
  2. How does NASA organize their company parties? They planet.
  3. What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers.
  4. I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
  5. PMS should just be called ovary-acting.
  6. Basic research is what I’m doing, when I don’t know what I’m doing.
  7. Alcoholic? No, I prefer the term Drinking Enthusiast.
  8. This place is so weird that the cockroaches have moved next door.
  9. Why can’t a bike stand on its own? It’s two tired.
  10. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut.
  11. What do you call a big pile of kittens? A meowntain.
  12. Learn sign language, it’s very handy.
  13. At least men and women agree on one thing, they both don’t trust women!
  14. A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

Wednesday, February 20, 2019

A strange sound and Monks - One of the Best stories


A man who was driving down the road and his car breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?"The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. 

A sound unlike anything he's ever heard before. The Sirens that nearly seduced Odysseus into crashing his ship comes to his mind. He doesn't sleep that night. He tosses and turns trying to figure out what could possibly be making such a seductive sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." 

Distraught, the man is forced to leave.

Years later, after never being able to forget that sound, the man goes back to the monastery and pleads for the answer again.
The monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."
The man sa,ys, "If the only way I can find out what is making that beautiful sound is to become a monk, then please, make me a monk."
The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of grains of sand. When you find these answers, you will have become a monk."

The man sets about his task. After years of searching he returns as a gray-haired old man and knocks on the door of the monastery. 
A monk answers. He is taken before a gathering of all the monks."In my quest to find what makes that beautiful sound, I traveled the earth and have found what you asked for: By design, the world is in a state of perpetual change. Only God knows what you ask. All a man can know is himself, and only then if he is honest and reflective and willing to strip away self deception."

The monks reply, "Congratulations. You have become a monk. We shall now show you the way to the mystery of the sacred sound."

The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is beyond that door."The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man is given the key to the stone door and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. And so it went that he needed keys to doors of emerald, pearl and diamond.

Finally, they come to a door made of solid gold. The sound has become very clear and definite. 
The monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."
The man is apprehensive to no end. His life's wish is behind that door! With trembling hands, he unlocks the door, turns the knob, and slowly pushes the door open. Falling to his knees, he is utterly amazed to discover the source of that haunting and seductive sound......

But, of course, I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

Saturday, February 16, 2019

It could have been worse


Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, “It could have been worse.” To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.

On the golf course one day, one of them said, “Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!”
“That`s awful,” said Frank, “But it could have been worse.”
“How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “Could it have been worse?”
“Well,” replied Frank, “If it happened the night before, I`d be dead now!”

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

10 Rules of Success from Top 10 Personalities !!

10 Rules of Success from Top 10 Personalities !!












Friday, February 1, 2019

February - Month of Love

February - Month of Love 










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