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Showing posts with label Dog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dog. Show all posts

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Poor Dog ! - Joke


One fine morning, a billionaire was taking a walk with his dog.
Suddenly a man ran out from the bushes in front of him and shot the poor dog three times. The dog was dead.
The billionaire screamed at the killer, "Why did you do that?".
The killer answered, "Your wife gave me $50,000 and said, "Go, kill that son-of-a-bitch"".
The billionaire hugged the killer & with tears in his eyes said...
"I don't know who your English teacher was, but I am forever grateful to her".

Thursday, January 28, 2016

Does your dog bite? - Joke


A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog.

He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?"

The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite."

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him.

"Ouch," he says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"

The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog."

Monday, March 23, 2015

A Dog named 'Sex' !!! - Funniest Joke Ever

Dog named 'Sex'

Folks generally aren't very creative in choosing names for their dogs.
That's why there are so many named Rover and Spot.
But, have you heard the plight of the fellow who thought he'd be cute and named his dog Sex?

  It goes like this:
"One day Sex and I took a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A policeman came by and asked what I was doing in this alley at midnight? I told him I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up next Tuesday."
"But, that ain't the worst part. One day, I went to the town hall to get a dog license for Sex.
The clerk asked me what I wanted. I told him I wanted a license for Sex.
He said,   'I'd like to have one, too.'
Then, I said, 'You don't understand. She's a dog.'
He said he didn't care how she looked.
When I told him I'd had Sex since I was 5, he said, "You must have been an early bloomer."
"When I decided to get married, I told the minister I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me I'd have to wait until after the wedding.  When I protested that Sex had played a big part in my life and that my whole life revolved around Sex, he said he didn't want to hear about my personal life."
"After my wife and I were married, I took the dog with us on the honeymoon. When I checked into the hotel, I told the clerk I wanted a room for my wife and wanted one for Sex. 
She said. 'Every room in the hotel was for sex.'
I said, 'You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night.'
The clerk said, 'Me, too.' "
"When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. When I told the Judge I had Sex before I was married, he grinned and said, " Me. too."
"Now that I've been thrown in jail, married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever imagined, I'm in counseling. My psychiatrist asked me what my problem was.  I said 'Sex has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and I'm so lonely,' I told him.
He said, "Look, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend. Get yourself a dog."





Monday, December 3, 2012

Americans vs Russians - Dog fight

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight.
They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.




The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. "When the day came for th e fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog. "When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund leaned up and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.


The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. 'We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. " "That's nothing ", an American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years trying to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.'"




Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Cute Puppies
















Monday, July 25, 2011

Animals Personalities










Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Cute Baby with Cute Baby sitters
































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