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Showing posts with label interesting quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label interesting quotes. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? - Celebrities' replies

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?



KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side.
PLATO: For the greater good.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.
TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that’s the only trip the establishment would let it take.
SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man.  The chicken “crossed” the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road.”  And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.  How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road.  I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road.  Who cares why?  The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road?  I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?”
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?”  Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom have we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road… it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: It was an instinctive maneuver.  The chicken obviously didn’t see the road until he had already started to cross.
BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road.  Not a single time.  Never.  (It was a boulevard.)
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant market position.  The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.  Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.  Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.  Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.  The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core values.  This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.  Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.

Friday, March 31, 2017

22 of the Very best Quotes of All time


  1. “Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.” – Mark Twain
  2. “I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.” – Abraham Lincoln
  3. “There are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.” – Bill Hicks
  4. “No one is saying that you’ve broken any laws, Mr. President… We’re just saying it’s a little weird that you didn’t have to.” – John Oliver on PRISM
  5. “When Students cheat on exams it’s because our school system values grades more than students value learning.” – Neil Degrasse Tyson
  6. “We ask 18-year-olds to make huge decisions about their career and financial future, when a month ago they had to ask to go to the bathroom.” – Adam Kotsko
  7. “Human nature is like water. It takes the shape of its container.” – Wallace Stevens
  8. “How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye hard.” – Winnie the Pooh
  9. “In war, the strong make slaves of the weak, and in peace the rich makes slaves of the poor.” – Oscar Wilde
  10. “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
  11. “Danger seems terrible from a distance; it is not so bad if you have a close look at it.” – Abhishek Vicky
  12. “Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.” – Dr. Seuss
  13. “The most important things are the hardest to say because words diminish them.” – Stephen King
  14. “You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.” – Tina Fey
  15. “If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” – Dumbledore
  16. “I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates
  17. “Chop your own wood, and it will warm you twice.” – Henry Ford
  18. “You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” – Buddha
  19. “You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.” – Zen adage
  20. “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.” – Raylan Givens
  21. “Do the difficult things while they are easy and do the great things while they are small. A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step.” – Lao Tzu
  22. “Of all sad words of mouth or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been.” – John Greenleaf Whittier


Tuesday, March 14, 2017

What is Success?


What is Success?




*At the age of 4 years ...* *Success is.....*
That you do not urinate in your pants,

*At the age of 8 years ...* *Success is.....*
To know the way back home.

*At the age of 12 years,* *success is........*
To have friends.

*At the age of 18 years,* *success is.......*
To get a driver's license.

*At the age of 23 years,* *success is.......*
To graduate from a university.

*At the age of 25 years,* *success is........*
To get a job

*At the age of 30 years,* *success is........*
To be a family Man.

*At the age of 35 years,* *success is........*
To make money.

*At the age of 45 years,* *success is.......*
To maintain the appearance of a young man.

*At the age of 50 years,* *success is.......*
To provide good education for your children.

*At the age of 55 years,* *success is...*
To still be able to perform your duties well.

*At the age of 60 years,* *success......*
To still be able to keep driving license

*At the age of 65 years,* *success is.......*
To live without disease.

*At the age of 70 years,* *success is........*
To not be a burden on any one.

*At the age of 75 years,* *success is........*
To have old friends.

*At the age of 80 years,* *success is.......*
To know the way back home.

*At the age of 85 years,* *success is.......*
That not to urinate in your pants again.


Saturday, January 28, 2017

Awesome Friendship Quotes!


If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." --- Winnie the Pooh




"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." ---Charles Caleb Colton

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"Friendship is one mind in two bodies." ---Mencius

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend." ---Stone Temple Pilots

"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay." ---Dave Matthew's band

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them. I'd be at the bottom to catch them."

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere." --- Tim McGraw

"My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life." ---Lee Iacocca

"Hold a true friend with both your hands." ---Nigerian Proverb

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." ---unknown

"In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy."

"Hold a true friend with both your hands." ---Nigerian Proverb

"I get by with a little help from my friends." The Beatles ;-)

"If you walk in front of me, I may not follow.
If you walk behind me, I may not lead.
If you Walk beside me, I will be your friend." ---Albert Camus

Monday, January 2, 2017

50 Positive one liners for the New Year 2017

A great post I got...
Worthy of reading again and again...
And saving it up for reading on a daily basis...


🌞50  Positive one liners...

1. Have a firm handshake.
2. Look people in the eye.
3. Sing in the shower.
4. Own a great stereo system.
5. If in a fight, hit first, and hit hard.
6. Keep secrets.
7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
8. Always accept an outstretched hand.
9. Be brave. Even if you are not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.
10. Whistle.
11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.
12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.
13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.
14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.
15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.
16. When playing games with children, let them win.
17. Give people a second chance, always.
18. Be romantic.
19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.
21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.
22. Be a good loser for your
loved ones.
23. Be a good winner of
Hearts.
24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.
25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.
26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.
27. Keep it simple.
28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.
29. Don't burn bridges. You will be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.
30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read: "No Regrets!".
31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you will regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.
33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.
34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.
35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.
36. Begin each day with some of your favourite music.
37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.
38. Forgive quickly. Life is short.
39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.
40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 AM.
41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.
42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.
43. Make someone's day by encouraging them.
44. Become someone's hero.
45. Marry only for love.
46. Count your blessings.
47. Compliment the meal when you are a guest in someone's home.
48. Wave at the children on a school bus.
49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.
50. Don't expect life to be fair...

Season's greetings - wish you all a wonderful 2017 well ahead of time!💕

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Bertrand Russell’s 10 Rules for Living

Bertrand Russell, one of 20th century’s most important and enduring thinkers, previously gave us this beautiful summary on what matters most in life.


If that meditation answers the what, then these guidelines help us answer the how. Published in 1951 as part of an article on liberalism for The New York Times Magazine, the ten rules dictate Russell’s guidelines that he, as a teacher, believed he should advocate. Although the rules ostensibly relate to rules for teaching, they really can be said to be, in the broadest sense, rules for living well.
1. Do not feel absolutely certain of anything.
2. Do not think it worth while to proceed by concealing evidence, for the evidence is sure to come to light.
3. Never try to discourage thinking for you are sure to succeed.
4. When you meet with opposition, even if it should be from your husband or your children, endeavour to overcome it by argument and not by authority, for a victory dependent upon authority is unreal and illusory.
5. Have no respect for the authority of others, for there are always contrary authorities to be found.
6. Do not use power to suppress opinions you think pernicious, for if you do the opinions will suppress you.
7. Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
8. Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent that in passive agreement, for, if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter.
9. Be scrupulously truthful, even if the truth is inconvenient, for it is more inconvenient when you try to conceal it.
10. Do not feel envious of the happiness of those who live in a fool’s paradise, for only a fool will think that it is happiness.

Friday, December 2, 2016

What does love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
_____



"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8 (Yes Rebecca, I agree.)
_____

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
_____

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
_____

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
_____

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
_____

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
_____

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
_____

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Booby, is it something like, "It is more fun to give than to receive'?)
_____

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (Great advise!)
_____

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
_____

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
_____

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
_____


"My mommy loves me more than anybody.
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
_____

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
_____

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
_____

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4 (Isn't that called unconditional love?)
_____

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
_____

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
___

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
_____

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8 (Great advise, Jessica!)
_____

And the final one -- 

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry."
_____

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Cat Quotes

Man has always been intrigued and fascinated with the cat so it's not surprising that there are so many cat-related quotes throughout time. This is a selection of some of my favourite quotes that I have collected over the years that I know all feline lovers will enjoy.
This page will be updated with new quotes from time to time so please feel free to come back again soon!



"In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat."
- Warren Eckstein
"A home without a cat- and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?"
- Pudd'nhead Wilson
"If animals could speak the dog would be a a blundering outspoken fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much."
- Mark Twain
"A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime."
-Mark Twain Notebook, 1895
"I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know, outside of the girl you love, of course."
- Abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field, Fisher
"Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."
- Mark Twain Notebook, 1894
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."
- George Mikes from "How to be decadent
"Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you."
- Mary Bly
"For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat."
- Anon
"I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul."
- Jean Cocteau
"There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats."
- Albert Schweitzer
"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat."
- Tay Hohoff
" God made the cat in order that humankind might have the pleasure of caressing the tiger."
- Fernand Mery
"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat."
- Tay Hohoff
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. "
- Jeff Valdez
"Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them."
- Jim Davis
"There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person."
- Dan Greenberg
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece."
- Leonardo da Vinci
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats."
- English Proverb
"Beware of people who dislike cats."
- Irish Proverb
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats."
- Colonial American Proverb
"With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats?"
- Fernand Mery
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
- Winston Churchill
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
- Hippolyte Taine
"A meow massages the heart."
- Stuart McMillan
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens."
- Abraham Lincoln
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
- Unknown
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
- Unknown
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
- Unknown
" No heaven will not ever be Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me."
- Unknown
" How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff."
- Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."
- Anonymous
" There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."
- Anonymous
"No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch."
- Leo Dworken
"One cat just leads to another."
- Ernest Hemingway
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
- Ernest Menaul
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
- Ellen Perry Berkeley
"People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life."
- Faith Resnick
"One reason we admire cats is for their proficiency in one-upmanship. They always seem to come out on top, no matter what they are doing, or pretend they do."
- Barbara Webster
"I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted--but his or her entertainment value."
- Geoffrey Household


"As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind."
- Cleveland Amory

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