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Showing posts with label sex life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex life. Show all posts

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Free Sex Tonight !!!


I asked a Chinese girl for her number. 



She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" 
I said, "Wow!" 

Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Thursday, February 23, 2017

"Sex breaks" for Office staff proposed by Swedish politician


Workers in a small town in northern Sweden could get more productive after a councillor's proposal for staff 'sex breaks'.
The idea of one-hour paid breaks for workers to go home and get intimate is aimed at improving Swedish couples' relationships, local politician Per-Erik Muskos says.
"There are studies that show sex is healthy," he told AFP news agency.
Couples aren't spending enough time with each other in today's busy world, he says.
He did point out there was no way to prove workers would take the opportunity to jump in the sack, but says they should be trusted with the break.
"You can't guarantee that a worker doesn't go out for a walk instead," he told AFP.
Swedish employees have an envied work-life balance. After Finland and France, they work the fewest hours, compared with the rest of Europe. In 2015, they worked an average of 1685 hours per year.
Newshub.

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

12 Yoga Poses That Double As Sex Positions

10 Yoga Poses That Double As Sex Positions


Ancient Yogic masters surely knew how sex treats the body and the soul. Here are 10 Yoga poses that can also be used as sex positions!
Source: http://9gag.com/gag/aeYQpEm















Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Rules of Sex ! - One Good Joke


Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules: 
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."

Friday, September 23, 2016

Perfect Kissing Guide, Even For Experienced Kissers

Perfect Kissing Guide, Even For Experienced Kissers


1. Kissing It Softly

Start kissing slowly, gently and passionately. After that, keep it up.


2. The Strawberry Kiss

Recent studies indicate that eating a strawberry before kissing will make your kissing experience into a real magic, as the strawberry have a huge impact on your lips sweet sensor.

3. Love Is Hurt

Use your other body parts while you kiss. Touch her/his hair, hold him/her back, touch his muscles and more. This action releases tons of endorphins, which makes you feel so good...


4. Nibble It a Little Bit

Nibble each other lips (gently of course) will boost your kissing experience and even the after kissing celebrations...

5. Moisturize Your Kiss

It's well known that dry lips will destroy every kiss, avoid it by using some lip moisture once in awhile.

6. Hip, Lip - Hop!

Get your hips closer, it will ignite some fire between you... Smoking!

7. Same Same But Different

Mimic each other "moves", whether s/he bite your lips, puting the tongue inside and more.


8. Tongue It Up

Take your tongue for a ride over your partner's front teeth. It might sound disgusting, but you should expect for an overwhelming response.

9. Lips Is The Obvious

Kiss on other body parts as well - neck, shoulders, ears.... it's up to you.

10. Keep It Fresh

No matter which tactic you are using, nothing will work if your teeth will be smelly and dirty. Brush your teeth twice a day! (At least...)


http://www.viralands.com/

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

You are Special if you have those Two Special Holes

Believe it or not, you can spot a healthy body by only looking at one point. But of course, rarely anyone knows that, so people, despite their size, have no idea how to find out how healthy they are.
Well, there is one certain way to find out whether a body is truly healthy or not, and you would have never guessed what it is.

We have all noticed the two parallel holes on the bottom of our back. Has anyone wondered what they mean? First, not many people know, but they have a name, they are called Venus holes (or Venus dimples)
Of course, this is when you’re found in women. When they’re found in men, they are called Apollo holes. Their exact location is where the pelvis is being connected by the two bones.
And only people with predispositions of ligaments with an appropriate size can brag with the fact that they have them. This is all a matter of genetics, so one cannot simply decide to have them or not to have them.
And do you have any idea what they stand for? They are a sign of a healthy body. They are also a sign of proper circulation and a maintained health.
Furthermore, they are also a sign that a person can easily achieve an orgasm. One thing you have to know is that the Venus or Apollo holes are created in a place where there are no muscles, so it is basically impossible to create them if they are not there.
There are no exercises powerfull enough to create these holes. The only way these holes may become visible is if you exercise plenty, and exercise every single part of the body.
When the body loses the fat, these two holes may appear. Thus the previous fact that the holes are a sign of a good, healthy and a properly functioning

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Sex is like.... Some REALLY interesting quotes


I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he
never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing
in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say
that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think,
"I knowwhat I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked".
--Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

65 Rules For Being A Man !!

65 Rules For Being A Man According To Elevator Gossip At The Goldman Sachs. Wall Street Building



Saturday, July 26, 2014

Some Naughty Jokes ;)


The sex life of my belt's buckle is as frustrating as mine. It also sees many holes everyday but goes in the same again and again!

----------------------
Women are a lot like alcohol. They may give you a great night but they're a fucking headache in the morning!
-------------------------
Female tears and male sperms are so similar. They're always eager to come out and only one in a million is for the right cause!
-------------------------
Dear Periods,
The only reason we tolerate you is because you're a sign that we're not pregnant.
Sincerely,
Girls
Dear Periods,
We only tolerate you because we get blow jobs that week.
Sincerely,
Boys
-------------------------
Men like sex, just like their belts...
If it's not tight enough, they'll move it to another hole!
-------------------------
Responses during Sex:
Mistress: Wow! Darling this is great!
Whore: Come on finish it now!
Girlfriend: Ah! Please slowly!
Wife: Ceiling needs painting!
-------------------------
A good date ends with dinner,
But An awesome date ends with breakfast!
-------------------------
Cleavage is like the Sun. You can look at it but you cannot stare - unless you are wearing sunglasses!
-------------------------
Internal Note from Department Head to all employees:
Dear Employees, We do get to know when you're texting during the meeting. Because seriously, no one looks at their private parts and smiles!
-------------------------
If you don't get a good appraisal inspite of giving your best, don't be disheartened. Even condoms are thrown away after 100% result oriented😛😂😱😃
If u laughed ... Pls dont laugh alone...
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