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Wednesday, January 31, 2018

Beer Party ! - Joke



The CEO of Budweiser orders a Bud light. The CEO of Miller orders a Miller Lite. The CEO of Coors orders a Coors Light. The CEO of Guinness orders a Coke.
The three CEOS then ask him, why aren't you ordering a Guinness?
He replies: "If you guys aren't drinking beer then neither will I."

Sunday, January 28, 2018

Your Thai Girl Friend

Your Thai Girl Friend 


Saturday, January 27, 2018

Dad, I want to marry..

Dad, I want to marry..


Thursday, January 25, 2018

A touching Taxi note

A note hanging from this taxi driver's steering wheel



Monday, January 22, 2018

Killed a Pig !! - Trump Joke


President Donald Trump and his motorcade are cruising along a country road to Florida after the government shutdown. Suddenly they hit a pig, killing it instantly.

Trump tells his chief of staff to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees him staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.

"What happened to you?" asked Trump

"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 21-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me."

"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Trump.

"I said I'm Donald Trump's Chief of staff, and I just killed the pig."

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Kim Jong Un is an Idiot - Donald Trump find out !! - Awesome Joke


Kim Jong Un is sitting in his office. He proudly tells his advisors:
“North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!”

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

“How are you going to send people to the sun? It’s too hot!”

Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:

“What an idiot! We can send them at night!”

His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:

“What an idiot!…

There is no sun at night!”

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Free Sex Tonight !!!


I asked a Chinese girl for her number. 



She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" 
I said, "Wow!" 

Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Blonde's Flask - Funniest Blonde Joke


A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos

So she asks him what it's for.

He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The blonde immediately buys one for herself.

The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.

Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"

She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Heard of Pending #coffee ?

Heard of Pending #coffee ?


Monday, January 15, 2018

15 Awesome Pics - you will be cheated by your own eyes

15 Awesome Pics - you will be cheated by your own eyes

















Monday, January 8, 2018

A Butcher and his last Chicken - Joke

A Butcher and his last Chicken - Joke



A butcher is selling meat at his shop and is down to his last chicken.
A woman comes into the store and approaches the butcher. She asks the butcher for a chicken.
The butcher goes into the freezer and pulls out his only remaining chicken. He returns and puts it on the counter.
The woman takes a look at the chicken and asks the butcher if he has any larger chicken.
The butcher takes the chicken and puts it back in the freezer. He waits a minute, pulls the same chicken back out of the freezer, and returns. He puts it in front of the woman and says this is a bigger chicken.
“Great!” Says the woman, “I’ll take them both!”

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Freedom ! - A 1980s American & Russian Joke

Freedom ! - A 1980s American & Russian Joke



An American and a Russian were discussing their respective freedoms in the 1980's...


American: We have more freedom. I can go over to the president and say "Mr. Reagan, I don't like the way you are running this country".

Russian: What's the big deal in that? I too can go to my president and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Reagan is running his country".

Relationships !!

Relationships !!


Blonde got a Job - Hilarious Joke

Blonde got a Job - Hilarious Joke 



A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.

The captain says they can't just turn her away, and orders to desk officer to ask her a few questions as if doing an interview. Not having any idea what to ask her to disqualify her application, the officer asks, "What's 2+2?"

"Ummm... 4!" the blonde says.

Dang, the officer thinks, so tries a harder one: "What's the square root of 100?"

"Ummm... 10!" says the blonde.

"Good!" the officer says, deciding to switch from math to history.

"OK, who killed Abraham Lincoln?"

"Ummm... I don't know," the blonde admits.

"Well, you can go home and think about it," he says, "and come back later and tell me what you've figured out." He figures that's the last he'll see of her.

So the blonde goes home and calls up one of her friends, who asks her if she got the job. "Not only did I get the job," she says, "but I've already been assigned to a murder case!"

Friday, January 5, 2018

Kim Jong Un - Donald Trump - Buttons !

Kim Jong Un - Donald Trump - Buttons  !


Wednesday, January 3, 2018

Boss.. Boss...


A guy's boss who is traveling calls him and asks, "Is everything okay at the office?"

"Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"Hurry up and take your shot, I'm behind you on the 7th hole."

45 Quick And Dirty Riddles That Will Stump Even Your Smartest Friends

45 Quick And Dirty Riddles That Will Stump Even Your Smartest Friends



1. You play with me at night before going to sleep. You can't get caught fiddling with me at work. You only let a select few people touch me. What am I?

Your phone.

2. What's a four-letter word that ends in "k" and means the same as intercourse?

Talk.

3. I start with a "v" and every woman has one. She can even use me to get what she wants. What am I?

Her voice.

4. I come in a lot of different sizes. Sometimes, I drip a little. If you blow me, it feels really good. What am I?

Your nose.

5. What's in a man's pants that you won't find in a girl's dress?

Pockets.

6. You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. What am I?

A tent.

7. What's long and hard and has cum in it?

A cucumber.

8. If I miss, I might hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?

The paperboy.

9. What four-letter word begins with "f" and ends with "k," and if you can't get it you can always just use your hands?

A fork.

10. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

An elevator.

11. I'm spread out before being eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes lick my nuts. What am I?

Peanut butter.

12. Arnold Schwarzenegger's is really long. Michael J. Fox's is short. Daffy Duck's isn't human. Madonna doesn't have one. What am I?

A last name.

13. What is hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet on the inside? The word begins with "c," ends in "t," and there's a "u" and an "n" between them.

A coconut.

14. I start with a "p" and ends with "o-r-n," and I'm a major player in the film industry. What am I?

Popcorn.

15. My business is briefs. I'm a cunning linguist. I plead and plead for it regularly. What am I?

A lawyer.

16. You get a lot of it if you're powerful and successful, but significantly less when you're just starting out. You sometimes do it with yourself, but it's a lot better when you do it with another person. What am I talking about?

Email.

17. Name a word that starts with "f" and ends with "u-c-k"?

Firetruck!

18. I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. What am I?

An arrow.

19. I go in hard but come out soft, and I never mind if you want to blow me. What am I?

Bubblegum.

20. What does a dog do that a man steps into?

Pants.

21. I'm great for protection. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?

Gloves.

22. What gets longer if pulled, fits snugly between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, chokes people when used incorrectly, and works well when jerked?

A seatbelt.

23. What's beautiful and natural, but gets prickly if it isn't trimmed regularly?

The lawn.

24. All men have one, but it's longer on some than others. The Pope never uses his, and a man gives it to his wife once they're married.

His last name.

25. I assist with erections. Sometimes, giant balls hang from me. I'm known as a big swinger. What am I?

A crane.

26. You find me in a guy's pants. I'm about six inches long, I have a head, and some women love to blow me. What am I?

A twenty dollar bill.

27. When I go in, I can cause some pain. I'll fill your holes when you ask me to. I also ask that you spit, and not swallow. What am I?

Your dentist.

28. Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

29. I grow in a bed, first white then red, and the plumper I get, the better women like me. What am I?

A strawberry.

30. I'm the highlight of many dates. I'm especially responsive when you put your fingers deep inside me. What am I?

A bowling ball.

31. What's made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?

Erasers.

32. I'm at least six inches long. I love it wet and foamy when I get to do my job. What am I?

A toothbrush.

33. What's messy and can be really annoying and/or tricky to clean up after sex?

Feelings.

34. Over 1,000 people went down on me. I wasn't a maiden for long. Something really big and hard ripped me open. What am I?

The Titanic.

35. It's a fun thing to do and you devote a significant amount of energy to thinking about it, but you hate knowing that your parents are doing it. What is it?

Facebook.

36. What's most useful when it's long and hard?

An education.

37. What's white, sticky, and better to spit than to swallow?

Toothpaste.

38. A lot of people like these to be as long as possible, but short ones can be effective, and it's definitely possible for them to be too long. What are they?

Tweets.

39. Name a word that's four letters long, ends in "u-n-t" and is used to refer to some women?

Aunt.

40. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

It's not hard.

41. Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony?

The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand, plus a dozen donuts.

42. Who's the most popular girl at the nudist colony?

The one who can eat the last donut!

43. How do you make five pounds of fat look good?

Put a nipple on it.

44. What does a woman have two of the a cow has four of?

Legs.

45. Sometimes a finger goes inside me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

Your wedding band.






A.R.V.லோஷன்
A.R.V.Loshan

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