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Showing posts with label holiday jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holiday jokes. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

Always let your boss have the first say.


A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, “I’ll give each of you just one wish”


“Me first! Me first!” says the administration clerk.

“I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.” Poof! She’s gone.

“Me next! Me next!” says the sales rep.

“I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.” Poof! He’s gone.

“OK, you’re up,” the Genie says to the manager.

The manager says, “I want those two back in the office after lunch.”

Moral: Always let your boss have the first say.

Monday, December 26, 2016

Fishing and wife - Joke


Steve and his buddies were hanging out and planning an upcoming fishing trip. Unfortunately, he had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Steve headed home frustrated. The following week when Steve's buddies arrived at the lake to set up camp, they were shocked to see Steve. He was already sitting at the campground with a cold beer, swag rolled out, fishing rod in hand, and a camp fire glowing. "How did you talk your missus into letting you go Steve?" "I didn't have to," Steve replied. "Yesterday, when I left work, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer to drown my sorrows because I couldn't go fishing. Then the ol' lady Snuck up behind me and covered my eyes and said, 'Surprise'. When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful see through negligee and she said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do whatever you want,' So, Here I am!"

Monday, August 15, 2016

Duck Hunting - Joke


A general practitioner, an internist, and a surgeon go duck hunting. A bird flies over, the GP jumps up and says “Well, it looks like a duck and flies like a duck. Must be a duck.” He blasts away 3 times with his shotgun, missing each time, and the bird flies on.

Another bird flies over. The internist looks up and says, “Well it looks like a duck and flies like a duck. But we can’t rule out an Aleutian Canada goose, which can appear similar. And since this is a federally endangered species, shooting it would be contra-indicated. Another consideration would be…” By the time he’s finished talking, the bird is out of range.

The third bird flies over. The surgeon takes one shot and the bird falls dead at his feet. He picks it up and says “What do you know. A duck.”
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