17 Of The Greatest One-Line Jokes
- A man walked into his house and was delighted when he discovered that someone had stolen all of his lamps.
- A plateau is the highest form of flattery.
- I removed the shell from my racing snail to make him go faster, but if anything it made him more sluggish.
- Alcoholics don’t run in my family — they mostly stumble around and bump into things.
- A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket and thinks, “some asshole has my pen.”
- “I have an L-shaped couch… Lower case.”
- Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
- I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure.
- What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?
- My doctor just told me I was suffering from paranoia, well he didn’t actually say that, but I could tell it was what the snide bastard was thinking.
- Saw this somewhere: If your parachute doesn’t open, don’t panic; you have the rest of your life to fix it!
- Saw a sign outside of an office building which said:”Today’s workshop ‘How To Cope With Disappointment’ has been cancelled.”
- What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?
- I stayed up all night wondering where the sun was, and then it dawned on me.
- Saying ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I apologize’ mean the same thing, except when at a funeral.
- My ex-wife still misses me, but her aim is getting better!
- “Yes, I have reservations… but I’ll eat here anyway”
