It could have been worse

Frank always looked on the bright side. He would constantly irritate his friends with his eternal optimism. No matter how horrible the circumstance, he would always reply, “It could have been worse.” To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a situation so completely bad, so terrible, that even Frank could find no hope in it.

On the golf course one day, one of them said, “Frank, did you hear about Tom? He came home last night, found his wife in bed with another man, shot them both and then turned the gun on himself!”
“That`s awful,” said Frank, “But it could have been worse.”
“How in the hell,” asked his bewildered friend, “Could it have been worse?”
“Well,” replied Frank, “If it happened the night before, I`d be dead now!”

This is Japanese Golf - Hilarious Joke

They are going to play golf at the business meeting. 

The guy flies out there a day early. He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha. 

He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for. He takes her in back and starts doing his thing. 

The girl starts going crazy. She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" 

He thinks, "This girl is loving this." 

Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one. He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!" 

The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"

A golfer and his wife - Hilarious #joke

A golfer and his wife - Hilarious #joke

Champions Trophy 2017 - Truly a SEXY tournament

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This Champions Trophy has truly been unique. 

Australia has a guy named Cumming!

Bangladesh has a guy named Mossdicka!

England has a guy named Balls!

India has a guy named Hardick!

New Zealand has a guy named Raunchy!

Pakistan has a guy named Fakkar!

South Africa has a guy named Kock!

Sri Lanka has a guy named Dickwala!

No wonder its been a sexy tournament so far and rightly so on Sunday we get to witness an epic climax of Hardick-Fakkar!

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WTF !!! - An athletic scholarship - Joke

There was an athlete who wanted to accept a scholarship to a well-known college. To be awarded it, however, he had to pass a physical, since it was an athletic scholarship. 

When Tim found out about the scholarship, he called his friends all to come over to his house to help him celebrate. They got plastered, and several of the friends had "donated" marjuana. 

The next morning, realizing that he would be asked to provide a urine sample, he knew the marijuana would show up in it. He had a brainstorm!! 

Calling his girlfriend on the phone, he said, "Hey, Patti I need a favour. Can you give me a small jar of urine? I'll need it for the physical tomorrow, and we kinda let things go here." 

Patti agreed, and within an hour, she came over, carrying a small mayo jar of yellow liquid. 

Tim thanked her, and he proceeded to take the "sample" to the college physical with him the next day. When the doctor asked him for a sample, he went into the restroom, and poured the urine Patti had given him into the vial. 

All was fine -- he thought!! 

Two days later, the athletic director at the college called Tim, and said, "I'm afraid we have to withdraw the scholarship offer." 

"WHY?" asked Tim. 

"We just cannot," said the A.D., "have a pregnant man on our football team!"

Exercise While Pregnant - Joke

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan. 

The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!" 

The room really got quiet. 

Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. 

"Yes?" replied the teacher. 

"Is it alright if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

How to expertise Long Jump - GIF

How to expertise Long Jump - GIF

It's time for Pom Bashing - Best of England Cricket Jokes

Foxsports.com.au's best England jokes

Q. What would Glenn McGrath be if he was English?
A. An all-rounder.

Q. What's the English version of a hat-trick?
A. Three runs in three balls.

Q. What advantage do Eoin Morgan and Jonathan Trott have over the rest of their teammates?
A. At least they can say they're not really English.

Q. Why don't English fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What do you call a Englishman with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What do Matt Prior and Michael Jackson have in common?
A. They both wear gloves for no apparent reason.

Q. What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by English batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. What is the definition of optimism?
A. An England batsman putting on sunscreen before going out to bat.

Q. What is the difference between an England batsman and a Formula 1 car?
A. Nothing! If you blink you'll miss both.