Custom Search
Showing posts with label usa. Show all posts
Showing posts with label usa. Show all posts

Saturday, May 12, 2018

US HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029 !!!

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029



Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California 


White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. 


Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 



Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. 


Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. 


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. 

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica 
. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! 


Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. 


George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 



Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 



85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. 


Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. 



Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. 


Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States.


Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays. 



Massachusetts
executes last remaining conservative. 


Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. 



Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. 



New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030


IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. 


Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines. 


Now, share this with whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or very, very scared.


I Love This Country! 


It's The Government That Scares Me!
 


Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Melania Trump swatting Donald's hand away

Melania Trump swatting Donald's hand away

First Lady Melania Trump swatting away president Donald Trump's hand on the tarmac in Israel


Sunday, November 27, 2016

Fidel Castro !!! A colossus Comrade ! - Collection of rare photos

Fidel Castro !!! A colossus Comrade !

A leader with a vision, a supremo with a superior approach..

The world proudly look up to him.

Fidel Castro shown in 1959. (AP Photo)

Cuban leaders walk arm-in-arm at the head of the March 5, 1960 funeral procession for the victims of the La Coubre explosion, blamed by the Cuban government on a U.S. bomb attack on the Cuban ship La Coubre in the harbor of Havana. From left to right are Fidel Castro; the first president of post-Batista Cuba, Osvaldo Dortico; Ernesto “Che” Guevara; Defense Minister Augusto Martinez-Sanchez; Ecology Minister Antonio Nunez-Jimenez; American William Morgan from Toledo, Ohio; and Spaniard Eloy Gutierrez Menoyo. Morgan became a Cuban sympathizer after a friend was reportedly killed by President Batista’s police. He was later executed in 1961, accused of being anti-Communist. Menoyo later founded the anti-Castro Alfa 66 organization. (AP Photo)


Cuban guerrilla leader Fidel Castro does some reading while at his rebel base in Cuba’s Sierra Maestra mountains in this 1957 photo. (AP Photo/Andrew St. George)



Fidel Castro, left, and Che Guevara. (Photo: DeAgostini/Getty Images)


Fidel Castro with Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev during a four-week official visit to Moscow, 1963



Fidel Castro, right, and P.L.O leader Yasser Arafat join hands following the P.L.O. closing speech at the final session of the 7th Non-Aligned Summit conference, March 13, 1983 in New Delhi. (AP Photo/Indian TV)

Fidel Castro talks with President Idi Amin of Uganda during a break in the closing session of the fourth summit meeting of the Non-Aligned countries at the Palais des Nationes conference hall in Algiers, Sept. 9, 1977. (AP Photo)

Cuban Premier Fidel Castro gestures during his marathon speech to the United Nations General Assembly, Oct. 12, 1979 in New York. (AP Photo)







Cuban leader Fidel Castro and Pope John Paul II pose during their historical meeting at the Vatican Tuesday, November 19 1996. (AP Photo/Arturo Mari)

Cuban President Fidel Castro, left, and Venezuelan President Fidel Castro are seen Tuesday, Dec.14, 2004 during a welcoming ceremony at the Revolution Palace in Havana, Cuba. (AP Photo/Jose Goitia)

Fidel Castro, pictured with Russian President, Vladimir Putin, at the “Palace of the Revolution,”. Putin it is the first president of Russia ex-comunist that Cuba view, after the fall of the “Wall of Berlin”. December 14, 2000. (Jorge Rey/MediaPunch/IPX/AP)

Argentina’s President Cristina Fernandez, right, and Cuba’s former President Fidel Castro pose for a photo during a meeting in Havana, Wednesday, Jan. 21, 2009. (AP Photo/Argentinean Presidential Press Office)

Fidel Castro attends the last day of the 7th Cuban Communist Party Congress in Havana, Cuba. Fidel Castro formally stepped down in 2008 after suffering gastrointestinal ailments and public appearances have been increasingly unusual in recent years, April 19, 2016. (Ismael Francisco/Cubadebate via AP)

Monday, November 21, 2016

Trump, Modi and Women !!!

Trump, Modi and Women !!!



Friday, March 4, 2016

An Attorney Story !!! - TRUE news story?? I have my doubts, but you decide....


 A lawyer in Charlotte, NC purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim with the insurance company.
        In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued....and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
        But... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Americans are honest - Joke



An American, a Mexican and an Italian robbed a bank. 

As it turned out, they got a lot of cash in Dollars, Pesos and Liras. 

When they returned back to their hide-out, American distributed the money in three even shares. 

He counted each portion aloud: 1000 Dollars for me, 1000 Pesos for you, 1000 liras for you... 
1000 Dollars for me, 1000 Pesos for you, 1000 liras for you... 
1000 Dollars for me, 1000 Pesos for you, 1000 liras for you... 

The Mexican said to the Italian 'well I can't stand these Yankees, but I have to admit they are honest. 

Monday, January 21, 2013

Journalism is a serious profession ... LOL

Journalism is a serious profession ... LOL

Some serious News FAIL pics












Monday, December 3, 2012

Americans vs Russians - Dog fight

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight.
They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.




The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. "When the day came for th e fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog. "When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund leaned up and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.


The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. 'We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. " "That's nothing ", an American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years trying to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.'"




Thursday, July 5, 2012

Amazing Creatures from American Dollars











Thursday, June 7, 2012

HELL AND A SENATOR



While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.


'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.
'No problem, just let me in,' says the man. 'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up.
What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven.
Then you can choose where to spend eternity. 'Really, I've made up my mind.
I want to be in heaven,' says the senator.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules. 'And with that, St.Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.


The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.


In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.


They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.


They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.


Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.


They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. 


Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator raises...


The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.


'Now it's time to visit heaven. 'So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.


They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. 'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven.
Now choose your eternity. 'The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:
'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.


'So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.


Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.


'I don't understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time.
Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?


'The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning....Today you voted.'








Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Family Problem......


Family Problem
 
 Two men, one American and an Indian were sitting in a bar drinking shot after shot.
  
 The Indian man said to the
 American, 'You know my parents are forcing me to get married to this so called homely girl from a village whom I haven't even met once.' We call this arranged
 marriage. I don't want to marry a woman whom I don't
 love..... I told them that openly and now have a hell lot of family problems.'
 
 The American said, talking
 about love marriages... I'll tell you my story.
 I married a widow whom I
 deeply loved and dated for 3 years. 'After a couple of
 years, my father fell in love with my step-daughter and
 married her, so my father became my son-in-law and I became
 my father's father-in-law.
 
 Legally now my daughter is my mother and my wife my grandmother.
More problems occurred when I had a son. My son is my father's brother and so he is my uncle.
 
 Situations turned worse when my father had a son. Now my father's son, my brother is my grandson. Ultimately, I have become my own grandfather and I am my own grandson..
 
 And you say you have family
 problems...
 
 The Indian fainted…


Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Obama & the Canadian PM


Obama & the Canadian PM


President Obama and the Canadian PM are shown a time machine which can see 50 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each.

President Obama goes first: "What will the USA be like in 50 years’ time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out: "The country is in good hands under the new president, José Fernandez.... crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. Vice President Jin Tao has declared Chinese language mandatory in all USA schools there are no worries."

The Canadian PM thinks, "It's not bad, this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks: "What will Canada be like in 50 years’ time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout. But he just stares at it.

"Come on, Stephen " says Obama, "Tell us what it says."

"I can't!
It's all in Tamil!"


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Hit Leap

Traffic Exchange
Share/Save/Bookmark