Blonde's Car Keys

A blonde is driving down the road. She notices that she is low on gas, so she stops at the gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she had locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, the blonde asks the attendant for a coat hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself. 

She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blonde is faring. The blonde outside of the car is moving the hanger around and around. 

Meanwhile, the blonde inside of the car is saying, "A little more to the left. A little more to the right ... "

Lincoln with a stick shift? - Car Joke

I was on vacation in Florida on Christmas vacation. I was walking down the beach and I see one of my colleagues approaching me. He is a psychologist. "You had breakfast yet," I ask?

"No."

"Let's find a place."

"Good," he says. "My car is right over there."

I get in his car, a brand-new Lincoln, and right away I notice that it's a stick-shift.

I say, "You bought a new Lincoln with a stick shift? I didn't know that they made a Lincoln like that."

"They don't," he says. "I ordered it special."

"I'll bet that cost a fortune," I reply.

"Oh, ya. You got that right."

"Why would you buy a new Lincoln with a stick shift," I ask?

He says, "My wife can't drive a stick."

5 Things You Should Never Do In A 4X4 Vehicle

5 Things You Should Never Do In A 4X4 Vehicle

Five ways that you could damage your 4x4 while off road.

Car Jokes !!!

A teenage boy tells his father, "Dad, there's trouble with the car, it has water in the carburetor." The father looks confused and says, "Water in the carburetor, that's ridiculous!" But the son insists. "I tell you, the car has water in the carburetor."

His father, starting to get a little nervous, says "You don't even know what a carburetor is.... but I will check it out. Where is the car?"

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Anne meets up with Dana while she is picking up her car from the mechanic.

Anne asks, "Everything ok with your car now?"

Dana replies, "Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was $12 worth of blinker fluid."

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An elderly man was driving his Buick down the freeway when his cell phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman. "It's hundreds of them!"

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 Did you hear about the guy who went into an auto parts store and said to the clerk, "Can I get a new gas cap for a Yugo?"

The clerk thought for a second and said, "That seems like a fair trade."

An Attorney Story !!! - TRUE news story?? I have my doubts, but you decide....

 A lawyer in Charlotte, NC purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim with the insurance company.
        In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued....and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be "unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."
        But... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine.

Blond sells her car - Joke

A blonde was trying to sell her old car but was having a lot of problems because the car had 250,000 miles on it. One day she told her problem to a brunette that she worked with. The brunette told her: "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."

"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde: "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."