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Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thoughts. Show all posts

Friday, December 9, 2016

82 Key Points to lead a satisfactory and successful life



  1. Respect people. Not because you want something from them– because they’re people.
  2. Take care of your body. It’s a temple– but don’t make it your idol.
  3. Social media is NOT for airing out your dirty laundry.
  4. Learn to fact-check, especially what you see online.
  5. Learn to listen well, especially when you’re angry.
  6. Make friends with people who are different than you.
  7. Travel as much and as often as you can–especially internationally. Experience new cultures.travel often
  8. Never invalidate someone else’s feelings.
  9. Don’t be ashamed of your emotions.
  10. Relationships are at the core of being human. Invest in them.
  11. Read often. Read fiction and nonfiction. Read authors that you disagree with.
  12. Learn to form an argument– not for the sake of arguing, but to know why you believe what you believe.
  13. Always argue fairly.
  14. Seek to understand first. Everyone has reasons behind their beliefs.
  15. Stay away from angry arguments on social media. No one wins.
  16. You don’t necessarily have to go to college. Find a passion and decide what fits it best.
  17. Find a job that means something to you– not just a job that pays well.
  18. Be an artist in whatever profession you choose.
  19. Look ahead and set goals. Write them down.
  20. Challenge yourself. Leave your comfort zone. Do better next time.
  21. Perfection is impossible. Excellence is not.
  22. Some subjects in school won’t be relevant to your life. However, your grades and the ability to work hard at something you may not care about, will be.
  23. Family comes first.
  24. Don’t you dare objectify women.
  25. Don’t stereotype people.
  26. When you find love, say it. Show it. Hold on to it.
  27. Love for intellect, personality, and heart– not for appearance or other superficial traits.
  28. Find a life partner who compensates for your flaws and accepts you in spite of them.
  29. Don’t rush into marriage.
  30. Always tithe. God blesses those who give generously and happily.
  31. Accumulate experiences and savings, not things.
  32. Commit important things to memory. Don’t rely on Google or your phone for everything.
  33. It’s okay to be angry. Just find a healthy outlet for it.
  34. Use your voice to speak for those who don’t have one.
  35. Use your influence to help, never to control.
  36. Competition is good, but not at all costs.
  37. Whether you’re rich or poor, be classy.
  38. Learn how to talk on the phone. It’s an important skill.
  39. Learn the art of conversation. Be friendly. Ask questions.
  40. Have a good, solid handshake.
  41. Anonymous good deeds are the most rewarding.
  42. Think about how your decisions will affect others.
  43. Pray first. Pray often.
  44. Think your own thoughts. Be original. Be honest.
  45. When (not if) people hurt you, don’t let it harden your heart.
  46. Think about how younger people view you, and try to set a good example.
  47. Never settle, but don’t be so picky that you miss a great opportunity.
  48. Words are important. Actions are even more important.
  49. Pay attention to the people around you.
  50. Try new foods.
  51. Engage with art: movies, music, paintings, theatre, poetry. Think about it. Always look for the message.
  52. Make decisions with the future in mind, but don’t forget to enjoy the present too.
  53. Everything in moderation.
  54. Remember the people who help you.
  55. Give people the benefit of the doubt until they prove you wrong.
  56. Don’t hold grudges. You’re the one who suffers the most when you do.
  57. Ask for help when you need it.
  58. Find friends that you don’t have to impress.
  59. Don’t do things you’ll want to lie about later.
  60. Put your dang phone DOWN.
  61. Take pictures, but don’t live life from behind a screen.
  62. Follow the rules, but it’s okay to ask why they’re there.
  63. Be a good leader, and a good follower.
  64. Trust your gut. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
  65. Admit your mistakes.
  66. A lie of omission is still a lie.
  67. Repetition is the mother of all learning. (Brought to you by your grandfather, boys.)
  68. Maturity is the ability to do something you hate, well. (Also courtesy of your grandfather)
  69. You don’t have to agree with someone to love them.
  70. Respect your elders.
  71. Respect minorities. Listen to their stories.
  72. Spend time in nature. Let it inspire you.spend-time-in-nature-let-it-inspire-you
  73. Never stop asking questions. Never stop wondering.
  74. Go to church, even when you don’t feel like it. Especially when you don’t feel like it. No other institution can offer the hope that a good church does.
  75. Give others the spotlight.
  76. Complaining will never solve your problem.
  77. Do things you might fail at. Don’t let the fear of failure stop you.
  78. Learn from failure and try again.
  79. Learn when to keep your mouth shut, even if you’re right.
  80. Saying “I told you so” never helped anyone. Ever.
  81. Don’t sulk when you lose. Don’t gloat when you win.
  82. Have a family, however that looks to you. It’s scary and sometimes messy. But it’s also the greatest blessing anyone can have and the greatest investment anyone can make.

Friday, December 2, 2016

What does love mean?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, "What does love mean?"
_____



"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore.
So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8 (Yes Rebecca, I agree.)
_____

"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4
_____

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5
_____

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy - age 6
_____

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4
_____

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7
_____

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.
My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8
_____

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Booby, is it something like, "It is more fun to give than to receive'?)
_____

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (Great advise!)
_____

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday."
Noelle - age 7
_____

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6
_____

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling.
He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8
_____


"My mommy loves me more than anybody.
You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6
_____

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5
_____

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7
_____

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
Mary Ann - age 4 (Isn't that called unconditional love?)
_____

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4
_____

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you."
Karen - age 7
___

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross."
Mark - age 6
_____

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8 (Great advise, Jessica!)
_____

And the final one -- 

Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a contest he was asked to judge.

The purpose of the contest was to find the most caring child.

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.

Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.

When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said,
"Nothing, I just helped him cry."
_____

Friday, August 26, 2016

Needs and Greed !


"Whether you have a Maruti or a BMW, the road remains the same. Whether you travel economy class or business, your destination doesn't change. Whether you have a Titan or a Rolex, the time is the same. There is nothing wrong in dreaming a luxurious life. What needs to be taken care of is not let need become greed. Because needs can always be met, but greed can never be fulfilled."
The question, does greed bring you success?

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

CREATIVITY and INNOVATION - Quotes



"When all think alike, then no one is thinking."
— Walter Lippman


"Capital isn't so important in business. Experience isn't so important. You can get both these things. What is important is ideas. If you have ideas, you have the main asset you need, and there isn't any limit to what you can do with your business and your life."
— Harvey Firestone


"Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
— Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE


"Doing the same thing over and over, yet expecting different results, is the definition of crazy."
— Unknown


M. A. Rosanoff: "Mr. Edison, please tell me what laboratory rules you want me to observe."
Edison: "There ain't no rules around here. We're trying to accomplish somep'n!"
— Thomas Edison


"Creativity, as has been said, consists largely of rearranging what we know in order to find out what we do not know. Hence, to think creatively, we must be able to look afresh at what we normally take for granted."
— George Kneller


"It isn't the incompetent who destroy an organization. The incompetent never get in a position to destroy it. It is those who achieved something and want to rest upon their achievements who are forever clogging things up."
— F. M. Young


"It's easy to come up with new ideas; the hard part is letting go of what worked for you two years ago, but will soon be out of date."
— Roger von Oech


"We all operate in two contrasting modes, which might be called open and closed. The open mode is more relaxed, more receptive, more exploratory, more democratic, more playful and more humorous. The closed mode is the tighter, more rigid, more hierarchical, more tunnel-visioned. Most people, unfortunately spend most of their time in the closed mode. Not that the closed mode cannot be helpful. If you are leaping a ravine, the moment of takeoff is a bad time for considering alternative strategies. When you charge the enemy machine-gun post, don't waste energy trying to see the funny side of it. Do it in the "closed" mode. But the moment the action is over, try to return to the "open" mode—to open your mind again to all the feedback from our action that enables us to tell whether the action has been successful, or whether further action is need to improve on what we have done. In other words, we must return to the open mode, because in that mode we are the most aware, most receptive, most creative, and therefore at our most intelligent."
— John Cleese


"The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas."
— Dr. Linus Pauling


"Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought."
— Albert von Szent-Gyorgy


"To raise new questions, new possibilities, to regard old problems from a new angle, requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science."
— Albert Einstein


Without the playing with fantasy no creative work has ever yet come to birth. The debt we owe to the play of imagination is incalculable."
— Carl Jung


"When Alexander the Great visited Diogenes and asked whether he could do anything for the famed teacher, Diogenes replied: “Only stand out of my light.” Perhaps some day we shall know how to heighten creativity. Until then, one of the best things we can do for creative men and women is to stand out of their light."
— John W. Gardner


"To be creative you have to contribute something different from what you've done before. Your results need not be original to the world; few results truly meet that criterion. In fact, most results are built on the work of others."
— Lynne C. Levesque
Breakthrough Creativity


"We shall not cease from exploration, and at the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."
— T. S. Eliot


"Once we rid ourselves of traditional thinking we can get on with creating the future."
— James Bertrand


"There's a way to do it better—find it."
— Thomas Edison


"The essential part of creativity is not being afraid to fail."
— Edwin H. Land


"Creative activity could be described as a type of learning process where teacher and pupil are located in the same individual."
— Arthur Koestler


"There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns."
— Edward de Bono


"Creativity is not the finding of a thing, but the making something out of it after it is found."
— James Russell Lowell (1819-1891)


"The creative person wants to be a know-it-all. He wants to know about all kinds of things: ancient history, nineteenth-century mathematics, current manufacturing techniques, flower arranging, and hog futures. Because he never knows when these ideas might come together to form a new idea. It may happen six minutes later or six months, or six years down the road. But he has faith that it will happen."
— Carl Ally


"The things we fear most in organizations—fluctuations, disturbances, imbalances—re the primary sources of creativity."
— Margaret J. Wheatley


"Too much of our work amounts to the drudgery of arranging means toward ends, mechanically placing the right foot in front of the left and the left in front of the right, moving down narrow corridors toward narrow goals. Play widens the halls. Work will always be with us, and many works are worthy. But the worthiest works of all often reflect an artful creativity that looks more like play than work."
— James Ogilvy


"The achievement of excellence can only occur if the organization promotes a culture of creative dissatisfaction."
— Lawrence Miller


"When the 'weaker' of the two brains (right and left) is stimulated and encouraged to work in cooperation with the stronger side, the end result is a great increase in overall ability and ... often five to ten times more effectiveness."
— Professor Robert Ornstein, University of California


"Innovation— any new idea—by definition will not be accepted at first. It takes repeated attempts, endless demonstrations, monotonous rehearsals before innovation can be accepted and internalized by an organization. This requires courageous patience."
— Warren Bennis


The way to get good ideas is to get lots of ideas and throw the bad ones away."
— Linus Pauling


"The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions."
— Anthony Jay


"Success is on the far side of failure."
— Thomas Watson Sr.


"You don't understand anything unless you understand there are at least 3 ways."
— M. Minsky


"To have a great idea, have a lot of them."
— Thomas Edison


"Companies have to nurture [creativity and motivation]—and have to do it by building a compassionate yet performance-driven corporate culture. In the knowledge economy the traditional soft people side of our business has become the new hard side."
— Gay Mitchell
Executive VP, HR, Royal Bank


"That so few now dare to be eccentric marks the chief danger of our time."
— John Stuart Mill


“Creative thinking is not a talent, it is a skill that can be learnt. It empowers people by adding strength to their natural abilities which improves teamwork, productivity and where appropriate profits.”
— Edward de Bono


"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
— Albert Einstein


"Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity."
— Chuck Jones
Warner Bros. animator


"An inventor is simply a person who doesn't take his education too seriously. You see, from the time a person is six years old until he graduates from college he has to take three or four examinations a year. If he flunks once, he is out. But an inventor is almost always failing. He tries and fails maybe a thousand times. It he succeeds once then he's in. These two things are diametrically opposite. We often say that the biggest job we have is to teach a newly hired employee how to fail intelligently. We have to train him to experiment over and over and to keep on trying and failing until he learns what will work."
— Charles Kettering


"All human development, no matter what form it takes, must be outside the rules; otherwise we would never have anything new."
— Charles Kettering


"Anyone can look for fashion in a boutique or history in a museum. The creative explorer looks for history in a hardware store and fashion in an airport."
— Robert Wieder


"He who would be a man must therefore be a non-conformist."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson


"Discoveries are often made by not following instructions, by going off the main road, by trying the untried."
— Frank Tyger
"The law of floatation was not discovered by contemplating the sinking of things, but by contemplating the floating of things which floated naturally, and then intelligently asking why they did so."
— Thomas Troward
The Dore Lectures on Mental Science 1909


"Every act of creation is first of all an act of destruction."
— Picasso


"If you do not the expect the unexpected you will not find it, for it is not to be reached by search or trail."
— Heraclitus


"The organizations of the future will increasingly depend on the creativity of their members to survive. Great Groups offer a new model in which the leader is an equal among Titans. In a truly creative collaboration, work is pleasure, and the only rules and procedures are those that advance the common cause."
— Warren Bennis


"Genius is one percent inspiration, and ninety-nine percent perspiration."
— Thomas Edison


"The business world sees a measurable and growing intelligence gap - with need for intellectual expertise constantly expanding. Available talent is decreasing even though the population is increasing. Being bombarded with information - be it in Nintendo or shogi - and being able to process it, find patterns etc., is a vital skill. One way to increase this talent potential is through games."
— Leif Edvinson
Skandia at the MindSports Olympiad 1997


"Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats."
— Howard Aiken


"Some men look at things the way they are and ask why? I dream of things that are not and ask why not?"
— Robert Kennedy


"In every work of genius, we recognize our once rejected thoughts."
— Ralph Waldo Emerson


"The human body has two ends on it: one to create with and one to sit on. Sometimes people get their ends reversed. When this happens they need a kick in the seat of the pants."
— Roger von Oech


"Creativity is thinking up new things. Innovation is doing new things."
— Theodore Levitt


"Innovation is the process of turning ideas into manufacturable and marketable form."
— Watts Humprey


"The innovation point is the pivotal moment when talented and motivated people seek the opportunity to act on their ideas and dreams."
— W. Arthur Porter


Creativity Killers:

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."
— Charles H. Duell, Director of US Patent Office 1899

"Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote."
— Grover Cleveland, 1905

"Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
— Harry M. Warner, Warner Bros Pictures, 1927

"There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom."
— Robert Miliham, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923

"Heavier than air flying machines are impossible."
— Lord Kelvin, President, Royal Society, 1895

"Ruth made a big mistake when he gave up pitching."
— Tris Speaker, 1921

"The horse is here today, but the automobile is only a novelty - a fad."
— President of Michigan Savings Bank advising against investing in the Ford Motor Company

"Video won't be able to hold on to any market it captures after the first six months. People will soon get tired of staring at a plywood box every night."
— Daryl F. Zanuck, 20th Century Fox, commenting on television in 1946

"What use could the company make of an electric toy?"
— Western Union, when it turned down rights to the telephone in 1878


"Innovation is the specific tool of entrepreneurs, the means by which they exploit change as an opportunity for a different business or a different service. It is capable of being presented as a discipline, capable of being learned, capable of being practiced. Entrepreneurs need to search purposefully for the sources of innovation, the changes and their symptoms that indicate opportunities for successful innovation. And they need to know and to apply the principles of successful innovation."
— Peter Drucker


"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions"
— Albert Einstein


"I roamed the countryside searching for the answers to things I did not understand. Why shells existed on the tops of mountains along with the imprints of coral and plant and seaweed usually found in the sea. Why the thunder lasts a longer time than that which causes it and why immediately on its creation the lightening becomes visible to the eye while thunder requires time to travel. How the various circles of water form around the spot which has been struck by a stone and why a bird sustains itself in the air. These questions and other strange phenomena engaged my thought throughout my life."
— Leonardo da Vinci


"Slaying sacred cows makes great steaks."
— Dick Nicolose


"In the modern world of business it is useless to be a creative original thinker unless you can also sell what you create. Management cannot be expected to recognize a good idea unless it is presented to them by a good salesman."
— David M. Ogilvy


"Innovation is fostered by information gathered from new connections; from insights gained by journeys into other disciplines or places; from active, collegial networks and fluid, open boundaries. Innovation arises from ongoing circles of exchange, where information is not just accumulated or stored, but created. Knowledge is generated anew from connections that weren't there before."
— Margaret J. Wheatley
Leadership and the New Science


"When you are completely absorbed or caught up in something, you become oblivious to things around you, or to the passage of time. It is this absorption in what you are doing that frees your unconscious and releases your creative imagination."
— Dr. Rollo May


"A person might be able to play without being creative, but he sure can't be creative without playing."
— Kurt Hanks and Jay Parry


"The achievement of excellence can occur only if the organization promotes a culture of creative dissatisfaction."
— Lawrence Miller


"Replace either/or thinking with plus thinking."
— Craig Hickman


"[I]in 1913, the first assembly line was implemented at Ford Motor Company. The process grew like a vine and eventually spread to all phases of the manufacture of Ford cars, and then through the entire world of heavy industry. There can be no doubt that a powerful revolution occurred at Highland Park—but it was not the assembly line itself that provided the power. Rather, it was the creation of an atmosphere in which improvement was the real product: a better, cheaper, Model T followed naturally. Every man on the payroll was invited to contribute ideas, and the good ones were implemented without delay."
— Douglas Brinkley
Wheels for the World: Henry Ford, His Company, and A Century of Progress


"Observe what is with undivided awareness."
— Bruce Lee


"History can’t give attention to what’s been lost, hidden, or deliberately buried; it is mostly a telling of success, not the partial failures that enabled success."
— Scott Berkun


"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
— Albert Einstein
On Science


"Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties."
— Erich Fromm


"It's the same each time with progress. First they ignore you, then they say you're mad, then dangerous, then there's a pause and then you can't find anyone who disagrees with you."
— Tony Benn
British politician, in the Observer


"The world is but a canvas to our imaginations."
— Henry David Thoreau


"Creativity can solve almost any problem. The creative act, the defeat of habit by originality, overcomes everything."
— George Lois


"If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with anything original."
— Sir Ken Robinson


"The joy is in creating, not maintaining."
— Vince Lombardi


"Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said could not be done."
— Sam Ewing

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Steve Jobs and the Seven Rules of Success


Steve Jobs and the Seven Rules of Success


Steve Jobs and the Seven Rules of SuccessSteve Jobs' impact on your life cannot be overestimated. His innovations have likely touched nearly every aspect -- computers, movies, music and mobile. As a communications coach, I learned from Jobs that a presentation can, indeed, inspire. For entrepreneurs, Jobs' greatest legacy is the set of principles that drove his success.

"Over the years, I've become a student of sorts of Jobs' career and life. Here's my take on the rules and values underpinning his success. Any of us can adopt them to unleash our "inner Steve Jobs." - Josh.

1. Do what you love. Jobs once said, "People with passion can change the world for the better." Asked about the advice he would offer would-be entrepreneurs, he said, "I'd get a job as a busboy or something until I figured out what I was really passionate about." That's how much it meant to him. Passion is everything.
2. Put a dent in the universe. Jobs believed in the power of vision. He once asked then-Pepsi President, John Sculley, "Do you want to spend your life selling sugar water or do you want to change the world?" Don't lose sight of the big vision.
3. Make connections. Jobs once said creativity is connecting things. He meant that people with a broad set of life experiences can often see things that others miss. He took calligraphy classes that didn't have any practical use in his life -- until he built the Macintosh. Jobs traveled to India and Asia. He studied design and hospitality. Don't live in a bubble. Connect ideas from different fields.
4. Say no to 1,000 things. Jobs was as proud of what Apple chose not to do as he was of what Apple did. When he returned in Apple in 1997, he took a company with 350 products and reduced them to 10 products in a two-year period. Why? So he could put the "A-Team" on each product. What are you saying "no" to?
5. Create insanely different experiences. Jobs also sought innovation in the customer-service experience. When he first came up with the concept for the Apple Stores, he said they would be different because instead of just moving boxes, the stores would enrich lives. Everything about the experience you have when you walk into an Apple store is intended to enrich your life and to create an emotional connection between you and the Apple brand. What are you doing to enrich the lives of your customers?
6. Master the message. You can have the greatest idea in the world, but if you can't communicate your ideas, it doesn't matter. Jobs was the world's greatest corporate storyteller. Instead of simply delivering a presentation like most people do, he informed, he educated, he inspired and he entertained, all in one presentation.
7. Sell dreams, not products. Jobs captured our imagination because he really understood his customer. He knew that tablets would not capture our imaginations if they were too complicated. The result? One button on the front of an iPad. It's so simple, a 2-year-old can use it. Your customers don't care about your product. They care about themselves, their hopes, their ambitions. Jobs taught us that if you help your customers reach their dreams, you'll win them over.

There's one story that I think sums up Jobs' career at Apple. An executive who had the job of reinventing the Disney Store once called up Jobs and asked for advice. His counsel? Dream bigger. I think that's the best advice he could leave us with. See genius in your craziness, believe in yourself, believe in your vision, and be constantly prepared to defend those ideas.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Great Quotes From Great Persons





Dr Abdul Kalaam........
***********************
"It Is Very Easy To Defeat Someone,
But It Is Very Hard To Win Some


Shakespeare.....
****************
"Never Play With The Feelings Of Others
Because You May Win The Game
But The Risk Is That You Will Surely Lose
The Person For A Life Time".


Napoleon........
***************
"The world suffers a lot.
Not because of the violence of bad people,
But because of the silence of good people!"


Einstein.........
**************
"I am thankful to all those who said NO to me
Its because of them I did it myself.."


Abraham Lincoln.........
***********************
"If friendship is your weakest point then
you are the strongest person
in the world"


Shakespeare..........
*******************
"Laughing Faces Do Not Mean That There Is
Absence Of Sorrow!
But It Means That They Have The Ability To
Deal With It".


William Arthur.........
*********************
"Opportunities Are Like Sunrises, If You
Wait Too Long You Can Miss Them".


Hitler.....
**********
"When You Are In The Light, Everything
Follows You,
But When You Enter Into The Dark, Even
Your Own Shadow Doesn't Follow You."


Shakespeare.............
*********************
"Coin Always Makes Sound
But The Currency Notes Are Always Silent.
So When Your Value Increases
Keep Yourself Calm and Silent"

Monday, October 10, 2011

7 Simple Tips To Deal With Negative People

“The people who are the hardest to love are the ones who need it the most.” ~Peaceful Warrior



Tip #1: Don’t Engage in the Negativity

One thing I found is negative people tend to harp on the bad things and ignore the positive stuff. They also have a tendency to exaggerate issues they are facing, making their predicament seem a lot worse than it actually is.
The first time you converse with a negative individual, provide a listening ear and offer help if needed. Provide support – let him/her know he/she is not alone. However, be sure to draw a line somewhere. If the person keeps harping on the same problems even after the first few conversations, then it’s a sign to disengage.
For starters, try to switch topics. If he/she goes into a negative swirl, let him/her continue, but don’t engage in the negativity. Give a simple reply, such as “I see” or “Okay”. Whereas if he/she is being positive, reply in affirmation and enthusiasm. When you do it often enough, he/she will soon realize what’s going on, and will start to be more positive in his/her communication.

Tip #2: Hang Out In Groups

Speaking to a negative person can be extremely draining. When I spoke to my negative co-worker, I would be mentally drained for several hours, even though we talked for only 20-30 minutes. That was because I was on the receiving end of all her negativity.
To address this, have someone else around when conversing with the negative individual. In fact, the more people, the better. This way, the negative energy is divided between you and the other members, and you don’t have to bear the full brunt of the negative energy.
The plus point of having someone else around is that people bring out a different side to an individual. By having another party around, it may bring out a more positive side in the negative person. I experienced this before and it helped me to see the “negative” individual in a different, more positive light.

Tip #3: Objectify the Comments Made

Negative people can be quite critical at times. They tend to drop insensitive comments that are hurtful, especially if they are directed at you.
For example, I once had a friend who was quite tactless. She would drop jarring comments which were dismissive and critical. Initially I was bothered by her words, wondering why she had to be so critical every time she spoke. I also wondered if there was something wrong with me – that perhaps I wasn’t good enough. However, when I observed her interactions with our common friends, I realized she did this to them too. Her comments were not personal attacks – it was just her being the way she was.
Recognize that the negative person usually means no harm – he/she is just caught up in his/her negativity. Start by learning how to deal with critical comments. Objectify the comments made – Rather than take his/her words personally, recognize that he/she is just offering a point of view. Sieve out the underlying message and see if there is anything you can learn from what he/she said.

Tip #4: Go with Lighter Topics

Some negative people are triggered by certain topics. For example, one of my friends turns into a self-victimizer whenever we talk about work. No matter what what I say, he’ll keep complaining about everything in his job, which becomes quite a conversation dampener.
If the person is deeply entrenched in his/her negativity, the unhappiness may be too deeply rooted to address in a one-off conversation. Bring in a new topic to lighten the mood. Simple things like new movies, daily occurrences, common friends, hobbies, happy news, make for light conversation. Keep it to areas the person feels positive towards.

Tip #5: Be Mindful of the Time You Spend With Them

As Jim Rohn puts it – “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. What this quote means is that who you spend your time with has an impact on the person you eventually become.
I find it to be very true. Think about the times you hang out with negative people – Do you feel more positive or negative after that? Same for positive people – How do you feel after spending some time with them?
Whenever I’ve an encounter with negative people, I’d often feel negative after that, like a bad aftertaste. Whereas with positive people, I’d feel extremely upbeat and exuberant. Clearly, there is a spill over effect that takes place even after the interaction! By spending more time with negative people, your thoughts and emotions will slowly become negative too. At first it might be temporary, but over time it’ll slowly become ingrained in you.
If you feel certain people in your life are negative, then be conscious of how much time you’re spending with them. I recommend to limit the duration where you can help it. For example, if they want to hang out with you but you don’t enjoy their company, learn to say no. If it’s a meeting or phone call, set a limit to how long you want it to be. Keep to the objective of the discussion, and don’t let it extend beyond that time.

Tip #6: Identify Areas You Can Make a Positive Change

Negative people are negative because they lack love, positivity and warmth. A lot of times, their negative behavior is a barrier they erect to protect themselves from the world.
One of the best ways you can help a negative individual is to usher positivity into his/her life. Think about what’s bothering the person at the moment, and think about how you can help him/her in your own way. It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate, and you definitely don’t have to go out of the way to help if you don’t want to. The key here is to be sincere in your desire to help, and to show him/her the upsides in life.
A while back, I had a friend who was unhappy with her job, due to the stagnating environment and culture mismatch. There was a job opportunity that arose in my (now former) workplace, so I introduced that opportunity to my friend. She eventually got the job, and she has been working there for over 3 years now, and doing very well.
Today, she’s a lot happier, forward-looking and proactive in life. She’s definitely a lot more positive than she was a few years ago. While I do not take any credit for what she has carved for herself in her career, I feel very happy knowing that I helped in a small way at the right time. Likewise, there’s always something you can do for others too – keep a look out and help where you can. Just a small act on your part may well make a huge difference in their lives.

Tip #7: Drop Them From Your Life

If all else fails, reduce contact with them or drop them from your life.
Rather than spend your time with negative people, focus on the positive people instead. In the past, I spent a lot of time with negative people, trying to help them with their issues. It drained up a lot of my energy and was often futile, which led me to rethink my methods. Ever since then, I worked on cultivating positivity by hanging out with positive friends and business partners. This has turned out to be a lot more rewarding and fruitful.
Remember that your life is yours to lead, and it’s up to you on how you want it to be. If there are negative people who make you feel bad about yourself, work on those issues with the 7 steps above. With the right actions, you can create a dramatic difference in what you get out of your relationships.
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