You can tell you've had too much of the 90s when...
- You try to enter your password on the microwave.
- You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
- You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
- You e-mail your work colleague at the desk next to you to ask, "Wanna go for a drink?" and they reply, "Yeah, give me five minutes."
- You chat several times a day with a stranger from South America, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
- You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date.
- Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
- You consider Post (Mail) painfully slow and call it "snailmail."
- Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
- You hear all good jokes via email instead of in person.
- When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone with your company's name.
- When you make phone calls from home, you accidentally dial "9" to get an outside line.
- You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
- You really get excited about a 1.7% pay rise.
- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose all your best jokes.
- Temps in your department outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
- Board members salaries are higher than all the Third World countries annual budgets combined.
- It's dark when you drive to and from work.
- Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
- The intern gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours powers up.
- Being sick is defined as 'you can't walk' or 'you're in the hospital.'
- You're already late on the assignment you just got.
- There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department is short, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
- Your boss's favorite lines are: When you've got a few minutes...Could you fit this in? In your spare time...when you're freed up...I know you're busy but...I have an opportunity for you.
- Every week another brown collection envelope comes around because someone you didn't even know had started is leaving.
- You wonder who's going to be left to put into your 'leaving' collection.
- Your relatives and family describe your job as "works with computers."
- The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are on your desk.
- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
- You've run out of family member's birthdays to use for all of the ATM and banking PINs, email passwords, computer codes, and voicemail IDs you need to remember.
- You read this entire list, kept nodding and smiling.
- As you read this list, you thought about forwarding it to your "friends you send jokes to" e-mail group.
- It crosses your mind that your jokes group may have seen this list already, but you can't be bothered to check so you forward it anyway.