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Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label quotes. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

Aldous Huxley Quotes

Aldous Huxley Quotes



  • That we do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history.
    ~ in Collected Essays
  • Under favorable conditions, practically everybody can be converted to practically anything.
    ~ in Brave New World Revisited
  • Chastity–the most unnatural of the sexual perversions.
    ~ in Eyeless in Gaza
  • Death … It’s the only thing we haven’t succeeded in completely vulgarizing.
    ~ in Eyeless in Gaza
  • After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
    ~ in Music at Night
  • Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
    ~ in Proper Studies
  • Experience is not what happens to a man; it is what a man does with what happens to him.
    ~ in Texts and Pretexts
  • Happiness is not achieved by the conscious pursuit of happiness; it is generally the by-product of other activities.
    ~ in Vedanta for the Western World
  • An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
  • At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religious or political ideas.
  • Experience teaches only the teachable.
  • Maybe this world is another planet’s hell.
  • Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity for taking things for granted.
  • That all men are equal is a proposition which, at ordinary times, no sane individual has ever given his assent.
  • There’s only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.
  • A bad book is as much of a labour to write as a good one; it comes as sincerely from the author’s soul.
  • A belief in hell and the knowledge that every ambition is doomed to frustration at the hands of a skeleton have never prevented the majority of human beings from behaving as though death were no more than an unfounded rumor.
  • A child-like man is not a man whose development has been arrested; on the contrary, he is a man who has given himself a chance of continuing to develop long after most adults have muffled themselves in the cocoon of middle-aged habit and convention.
  • A democracy which makes or even effectively prepares for modern, scientific war must necessarily cease to be democratic. No country can be really well prepared for modern war unless it is governed by a tyrant, at the head of a highly trained and perfectly obedient bureaucracy.
  • A fanatic is a man who consciously over compensates a secret doubt.
  • A man may be a pessimistic determinist before lunch and an optimistic believer in the will’s freedom after it.
  • All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings, and so, give them the power to pull ours.
  • Amour is the one human activity of any importance in which laughter and pleasure preponderate, if ever so slightly, over misery and pain.
  • An unexciting truth may be eclipsed by a thrilling lie.
  • Beauty is worse than wine, it intoxicates both the holder and beholder.
  • Children are remarkable for their intelligence and ardor, for their curiosity, their intolerance of shams, the clarity and ruthlessness of their vision.
  • Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are the dead.
  • De Sade is the one completely consistent and thoroughgoing revolutionary of history.
  • Cynical realism is the intelligent man’s best excuse for doing nothing in an intolerable situation.
  • Dream in a pragmatic way.
  • Europe is so well gardened that it resembles a work of art, a scientific theory, a neat metaphysical system. Man has re-created Europe in his own image.
  • Every man who knows how to read has it in his power to magnify himself, to multiply the ways in which he exists, to make his life full, significant and interesting.
  • Every man’s memory is his private literature.
  • Everyone who wants to do good to the human race always ends in universal bullying.
  • Feasts must be solemn and rare, or else they cease to be feasts.
  • From their experience or from the recorded experience of others (history), men learn only what their passions and their metaphysical prejudices allow them to learn.
  • God isn’t compatible with machinery and scientific medicine and universal happiness. You must make your choice. Our civilization has chosen machinery and medicine and happiness.
  • Great is truth, but still greater, from a practical point of view, is silence about truth. By simply not mentioning certain subjects… totalitarian propagandists have influenced opinion much more effectively than they could have by the most eloquent denunciations.
  • Habit converts luxurious enjoyments into dull and daily necessities.
  • Happiness is a hard master, particularly other people’s happiness.
  • Hell isn’t merely paved with good intentions; it’s walled and roofed with them. Yes, and furnished too.
  • I can sympathize with people’s pains, but not with their pleasures. There is something curiously boring about somebody else’s happiness.
  • I’m afraid of losing my obscurity. Genuineness only thrives in the dark. Like celery.
  • Idealism is the noble toga that political gentlemen drape over their will to power.
  • If human beings were shown what they’re really like, they’d either kill one another as vermin, or hang themselves.
  • It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one’s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than ‘try to be a little kinder.’
  • It takes two to make a murder. There are born victims, born to have their throats cut, as the cut-throats are born to be hanged.
  • It was one of those evenings when men feel that truth, goodness and beauty are one. In the morning, when they commit their discovery to paper, when others read it written there, it looks wholly ridiculous.
  • It’s with bad sentiments that one makes good novels.
  • Like every man of sense and good feeling, I abominate work.
  • Like every other good thing in this world, leisure and culture have to be paid for. Fortunately, however, it is not the leisured and the cultured who have to pay.
  • Man approaches the unattainable truth through a succession of errors.
  • Man is an intelligence, not served by, but in servitude to his organs.
  • Most ignorance is vincible ignorance. We don’t know because we don’t want to know.
  • Most of one’s life is one prolonged effort to prevent oneself thinking.
  • My fate cannot be mastered; it can only be collaborated with and thereby, to some extent, directed. Nor am I the captain of my soul; I am only its noisiest passenger.
  • My father considered a walk among the mountains as the equivalent of churchgoing.
  • Official dignity tends to increase in inverse ratio to the importance of the country in which the office is held.
  • One of the great attractions of patriotism – it fulfills our worst wishes. In the person of our nation we are able, vicariously, to bully and cheat. Bully and cheat, what’s more, with a feeling that we are profoundly virtuous.
  • Orthodoxy is the diehard of the world of thought. It learns not, neither can it forget.
  • People intoxicate themselves with work so they won’t see how they really are.
  • Perhaps it’s good for one to suffer. Can an artist do anything if he’s happy? Would he ever want to do anything? What is art, after all, but a protest against the horrible inclemency of life?
  • Proverbs are always platitudes until you have personally experienced the truth of them.
  • Science has explained nothing; the more we know the more fantastic the world becomes and the profounder the surrounding darkness.
  • Several excuses are always less convincing than one.
  • So long as men worship the Caesars and Napoleons, Caesars and Napoleons will duly arise and make them miserable.
  • Sons have always a rebellious wish to be disillusioned by that which charmed their fathers.
  • Specialized meaninglessness has come to be regarded, in certain circles, as a kind of hallmark of true science.
  • Speed, it seems to me, provides the one genuinely modern pleasure.
  • Technological progress has merely provided us with more efficient means for going backwards.
  • That we are not much sicker and much madder than we are is due exclusively to that most blessed and blessing of all natural graces, sleep.
  • The author of the Iliad is either Homer or, if not Homer, somebody else of the same name.
  • The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different.
  • The finest works of art are precious, among other reasons, because they make it possible for us to know, if only imperfectly and for a little while, what it actually feels like to think subtly and feel nobly.
  • The impulse to cruelty is, in many people, almost as violent as the impulse to sexual love – almost as violent and much more mischievous.
  • The more powerful and original a mind, the more it will incline towards the religion of solitude.
  • The most distressing thing that can happen to a prophet is to be proved wrong. The next most distressing thing is to be proved right.
  • The most shocking fact about war is that its victims and its instruments are individual human beings, and that these individual beings are condemned by the monstrous conventions of politics to murder or be murdered in quarrels not their own.
  • The most valuable of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it has to be done, whether you like it or not.
  • The propagandist’s purpose is to make one set of people forget that certain other sets of people are human.
  • The proper study of mankind is books.
  • The quality of moral behaviour varies in inverse ratio to the number of human beings involved.
  • The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age, which mean never losing your enthusiasm.
  • The vast majority of human beings dislike and even actually dread all notions with which they are not familiar… Hence it comes about that at their first appearance innovators have generally been persecuted, and always derided as fools and madmen.
  • The worst enemy of life, freedom and the common decencies is total anarchy; their second worst enemy is total efficiency.
  • There are things known and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.
  • There is no substitute for talent. Industry and all its virtues are of no avail.
  • There isn’t any formula or method. You learn to love by loving – by paying attention and doing what one thereby discovers has to be done.
  • There’s only one effectively redemptive sacrifice, the sacrifice of self-will to make room for the knowledge of God.
  • Those who believe that they are exclusively in the right are generally those who achieve something.
  • Thought must be divided against itself before it can come to any knowledge of itself.
  • To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
  • To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.
  • Uncontrolled, the hunger and thirst after God may become an obstacle, cutting off the soul from what it desires. If a man would travel far along the mystic road, he must learn to desire God intensely but in stillness, passively and yet with all his heart and mind and strength.
  • We are all geniuses up to the age of ten.
  • We participate in a tragedy; at a comedy we only look.
  • What is absurd and monstrous about war is that men who have no personal quarrel should be trained to murder one another in cold blood.
  • What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera.
  • What with making their way and enjoying what they have won, heroes have no time to think. But the sons of heroes – ah, they have all the necessary leisure.
  • Words, words, words! They shut one off from the universe. Three quarters of the time one’s never in contact with things, only with the beastly words that stand for them.
  • Writers write to influence their readers, their preachers, their auditors, but always, at bottom, to be more themselves.
  • Ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you mad.
  • You should hurry up and acquire the cigar habit. It’s one of the major happinesses. And so much more lasting than love, so much less costly in emotional wear and tear.
  • Abused as we abuse it at present, dramatic art is in no sense cathartic; it is merely a form of emotional masturbation. It is the rarest thing to find a player who has not had his character affected for the worse by the practice of his profession. Nobody can make a habit of self-exhibition, nobody can exploit his personality for the sake of exercising a kind of hypnotic power over others, and remain untouched by the process.
  • Beauty for some provides escape, who gain a happiness in eying the gorgeous buttocks of the ape or Autumn sunsets exquisitely dying.
  • The brotherhood of men does not imply their equality. Families have their fools and their men of genius, their black sheep and their saints, their worldly successes and their worldly failures. A man should treat his brothers lovingly and with justice, according to the deserts of each. But the deserts of every brother are not the same.
  • Ignore death up to the last moment; then, when it can’t be ignored any longer, have yourself squirted full of morphia and shuffle off in a coma. Thoroughly sensible, humane and scientific, eh?
  • Single-mindedness is all very well in cows or baboons; in an animal claiming to belong to the same species as Shakespeare it is simply disgraceful.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Oscar Wilde's Awesome 25 Quotes

Oscar Wilde's Awesome 25 Quotes





1. I think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
2. The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.
3. Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
4. It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.
5. The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.
6. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
7. What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
8. A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
9. When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is.
10. There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
11. Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
12. Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.
13. True friends stab you in the front.
14. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does. That's his.
15. Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.
16. There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.
17. Genius is born—not paid.
18. Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
19. How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?
20. A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.
21. My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people’s.
22. The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything.
23. I like men who have a future and women who have a past.
24. There are two ways of disliking poetry; one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.
25. Quotation is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Seven Superb Sentences.....

Seven Superb Sentences.....



         *Shakespeare*
Never  play  with the feelings   of  others, because  you may win the game,.. but the risk is that you will surely  lose the person for a  life time.

           *Napoleon*
The world suffers a lot, not because of the violence of bad people, but because  of the silence of good people!

            *Einstein*
I am thankful to all those who said NO to me, as it's because of them I did it myself.

      *Abraham Lincoln*
If friendship is your weakest point, then, you are the strongest person in the world.

       *Shakespeare*
Laughing faces do not mean that  there is absence of sorrow!,... but it means that they  have the ability to deal with it.

      *William  Arthur*
Opportunities are like Sunrises, if you wait far too long you can miss them.

            *Hitler*
When you are in the light, everything follows you,...but when you enter into the dark,...even your own shadow leaves you.

                       ❤☮🎶

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Awesome Friendship Quotes!


If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you." --- Winnie the Pooh




"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." ---Charles Caleb Colton

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"Friendship is one mind in two bodies." ---Mencius

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."

"If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend." ---Stone Temple Pilots

"I'll lean on you and you lean on me and we'll be okay." ---Dave Matthew's band

"If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn't jump with them. I'd be at the bottom to catch them."

"Everyone hears what you say. Friends listen to what you say. Best friends listen to what you don't say."

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere." --- Tim McGraw

"My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life." ---Lee Iacocca

"Hold a true friend with both your hands." ---Nigerian Proverb

"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." ---unknown

"In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy."

"Hold a true friend with both your hands." ---Nigerian Proverb

"I get by with a little help from my friends." The Beatles ;-)

"If you walk in front of me, I may not follow.
If you walk behind me, I may not lead.
If you Walk beside me, I will be your friend." ---Albert Camus

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Bertrand Russell’s 10 Rules for Living

Bertrand Russell, one of 20th century’s most important and enduring thinkers, previously gave us this beautiful summary on what matters most in life.


If that meditation answers the what, then these guidelines help us answer the how. Published in 1951 as part of an article on liberalism for The New York Times Magazine, the ten rules dictate Russell’s guidelines that he, as a teacher, believed he should advocate. Although the rules ostensibly relate to rules for teaching, they really can be said to be, in the broadest sense, rules for living well.
1. Do not feel absolutely certain of anything.
2. Do not think it worth while to proceed by concealing evidence, for the evidence is sure to come to light.
3. Never try to discourage thinking for you are sure to succeed.
4. When you meet with opposition, even if it should be from your husband or your children, endeavour to overcome it by argument and not by authority, for a victory dependent upon authority is unreal and illusory.
5. Have no respect for the authority of others, for there are always contrary authorities to be found.
6. Do not use power to suppress opinions you think pernicious, for if you do the opinions will suppress you.
7. Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.
8. Find more pleasure in intelligent dissent that in passive agreement, for, if you value intelligence as you should, the former implies a deeper agreement than the latter.
9. Be scrupulously truthful, even if the truth is inconvenient, for it is more inconvenient when you try to conceal it.
10. Do not feel envious of the happiness of those who live in a fool’s paradise, for only a fool will think that it is happiness.

Friday, October 28, 2016

TEN (10) GOLDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE

*TEN (10) GOLDEN SECRETS OF MARRIAGE:*





*TO THOSE WHO ARE MARRIED AND/OR ARE PREPARING TO GET MARRIED SOON*
1. *EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A WEAKNESS*
Only God has no weakness. Every rose flower has its own thorn. If you focus too much on your spouse's weakness, you can't get the best out of his/her strength.
2. *EVERYONE YOU MARRY HAS A DARK HISTORY*
No one is an Angel, therefore, avoid digging one's past. What matters is the present life of your partner. Old things are passed away. try to forgive and forget. The past can't be changed. So Focus on the present and the future!
3. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS IT'S OWN CHALLENGES*
Marriage is not a bed of roses. Every shinning marriage has gone through its own test of hot and excruciating fire. True love is proven in time of challenge. Fight for your marriage! Make up your mind to stay with your spouse in time of needs. Remember this is the vow you made on your wedding day!
4. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS DIFFERENT LEVELS OF SUCCESS*
Don't compare your marriage with anyone! We can never be equal, some will be far in front and others far behind. To avoid marriage stresses, be patient, work hard and with time, your marriage dreams shall come true.
5. *TO MARRY IS TO DECLARE A WAR*
When you marry, you must declare a war against enemies of marriage. Some of the enemies of marriage are: Ignorance, Prayerlessness, Unforgiveness, Adultery, Third Party Influence, Stinginess, Stubbornness, Lack Of Love, Rudeness, Wife battery, Laziness, Divorce etc. Be ready to fight to maintain your marriage zone.
6. *THERE IS NO PERFECT MARRIAGE*
There is no ready made marriage anywhere. Marriage is hard work, volunteer yourself and perfect it daily. Marriage is like a CAR with Gear oil, gear box, back hassles and If this parts are not properly maintained, the car will break down somewhere along the road and exposing the occupant to unhealthy circumstances. - Many of us are careless about our marriage... Are you? If you are, pls pay attention to your marriage.
7. *GOD CANNOT GIVE YOU THE COMPLETE PERSON YOU DESIRE*
He (God) gives you, him or her in the form of raw materials in order for you to mould what you desire. You may desire a woman who can pray for 1 hour but your wife can only pray for 30 minutes. With your love, prayer and encouragement, she can improve and vice versa.
8. *TO MARRY IS TO TAKE A RISK*
You cannot predict what will happen after marriage, as situation may change, so, leave a room for adjustment. Pregnancy may not come in the next 4 years. You may get marry to her because she's slim but she becomes 100% fatter after a child. He may lose his beautiful job for years that you have to take the financial responsibility of the family until he gets a new job. But with God by your side, you will smile at last.
9. *MARRIAGE IS NOT A CONTRACT, IT IS A COVENANT*
Marriage needs total commitment, love is the glue that makes a couple stick together. Divorce starts in the mind. Never think of divorce! Never threaten your spouse with divorce. Choose to remain married! God hates divorce
10. *EVERY MARRIAGE HAS A PRICE TO PAY*
Marriage is like a bank account. It is the money you deposit into your bank account that you can withdraw. If you don't deposit love, peace and care into your marriage, you are not a candidate of a blissful home. There is no free love in marriage, You cannot love without giving and sacrificing.
May the Lord Give us the Grace And Wisdom To Build A Heaven on Earth Marriage Amen.

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Cat Quotes

Man has always been intrigued and fascinated with the cat so it's not surprising that there are so many cat-related quotes throughout time. This is a selection of some of my favourite quotes that I have collected over the years that I know all feline lovers will enjoy.
This page will be updated with new quotes from time to time so please feel free to come back again soon!



"In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat."
- Warren Eckstein
"A home without a cat- and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat- may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?"
- Pudd'nhead Wilson
"If animals could speak the dog would be a a blundering outspoken fellow, but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much."
- Mark Twain
"A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime."
-Mark Twain Notebook, 1895
"I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know, outside of the girl you love, of course."
- Abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field, Fisher
"Of all God's creatures there is only one that cannot be made the slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but it would deteriorate the cat."
- Mark Twain Notebook, 1894
"You can keep a dog; but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals."
- George Mikes from "How to be decadent
"Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you."
- Mary Bly
"For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat."
- Anon
"I love cats because I love my home and after a while they become its visible soul."
- Jean Cocteau
"There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats."
- Albert Schweitzer
"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat."
- Tay Hohoff
" God made the cat in order that humankind might have the pleasure of caressing the tiger."
- Fernand Mery
"There are few things in life more heartwarming than to be welcomed by a cat."
- Tay Hohoff
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. "
- Jeff Valdez
"Way down deep, we're all motivated by the same urges. Cats have the courage to live by them."
- Jim Davis
"There is, incidentally, no way of talking about cats that enables one to come off as a sane person."
- Dan Greenberg
"The smallest feline is a masterpiece."
- Leonardo da Vinci
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats."
- English Proverb
"Beware of people who dislike cats."
- Irish Proverb
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats."
- Colonial American Proverb
"With the qualities of cleanliness, affection, patience, dignity, and courage that cats have, how many of us, I ask you, would be capable of becoming cats?"
- Fernand Mery
"I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals."
- Winston Churchill
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior."
- Hippolyte Taine
"A meow massages the heart."
- Stuart McMillan
"No matter how much cats fight, there always seems to be plenty of kittens."
- Abraham Lincoln
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
- Unknown
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
- Unknown
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
- Unknown
" No heaven will not ever be Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me."
- Unknown
" How we behave toward cats here below determines our status in heaven."
- Robert A. Heinlein
"Dogs have owners, cats have staff."
- Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."
- Anonymous
" There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."
- Anonymous
"No amount of time can erase the memory of a good cat, and no amount of masking tape can ever totally remove his fur from your couch."
- Leo Dworken
"One cat just leads to another."
- Ernest Hemingway
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
- Ernest Menaul
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
- Ellen Perry Berkeley
"People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life."
- Faith Resnick
"One reason we admire cats is for their proficiency in one-upmanship. They always seem to come out on top, no matter what they are doing, or pretend they do."
- Barbara Webster
"I have noticed that what cats most appreciate in a human being is not the ability to produce food which they take for granted--but his or her entertainment value."
- Geoffrey Household


"As anyone who has ever been around a cat for any length of time well knows cats have enormous patience with the limitations of the human kind."
- Cleveland Amory

Friday, August 26, 2016

Needs and Greed !


"Whether you have a Maruti or a BMW, the road remains the same. Whether you travel economy class or business, your destination doesn't change. Whether you have a Titan or a Rolex, the time is the same. There is nothing wrong in dreaming a luxurious life. What needs to be taken care of is not let need become greed. Because needs can always be met, but greed can never be fulfilled."
The question, does greed bring you success?

Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Sex is like.... Some REALLY interesting quotes


I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he
never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing
in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say
that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think,
"I knowwhat I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked".
--Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams
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