Custom Search
Showing posts with label America. Show all posts
Showing posts with label America. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Donald Trump as Titanic Ship's Captain

Donald Trump as Titanic Ship's Captain


Saturday, December 15, 2018

Sundar Pichai vs US Congress - Google's congressional hearing highlights in 11 minutes

Google's congressional hearing highlights 

in 11 minutes


Lawmakers questioned Google's CEO Sundar Pichai for over three hours, looking for answers on alleged anti-conservative bias, plans for a censored search engine for China, and data collection.


Saturday, May 12, 2018

US HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029 !!!

HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR: 2029



Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California 


White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language. 


Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock. 



Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped. 


Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage. 


Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels. 

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica 
. No other country comes forward to help the beleaguered nation! 


Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking. 


George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036. 



Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only. 



85-year $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise is the key to weight loss. 


Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs. 



Global cooling blamed for citrus crop failure for third consecutive year in Mexifornia and Floruba. 


Abortion clinics now available in every
High School in United States.


Senate still blocking drilling in ANWR even though gas is selling for 4532 Pesos per liter and gas stations are only open on Tuesdays and Fridays. 



Massachusetts
executes last remaining conservative. 


Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights. 



Average height of NBA players is now nine feet, seven inches. 



New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2030


IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent. 


Floruba voters still having trouble with voting machines. 


Now, share this with whomever you want and as many as you want, then, guess what....NOTHING will happen. No miracles, no money, absolutely nothing, except you might make someone smile or very, very scared.


I Love This Country! 


It's The Government That Scares Me!
 


Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Three Bills at a bar - Joke


Three men, one from America, one from Australia and one from Russia were sitting at a bar. To show off, the American picks up his revolver, shoots the cap off his bottle of beer, and proudly exlaims:

"My name is Bill. Buffalo Bill."

The Australian, not wanting to be any less of a man, picks up his boomerang and gives it a swing across the bar. It does a big circle, and on its way back it knocks the cap off his beer as well. He then says:

"My name is Bill. Crocodile Bill."

The Russian looks around nervously, then pulls his pants down, and proudly shows his two penises. He then saiys:

"My name is Bill. Cherno Bill."

Monday, January 22, 2018

Killed a Pig !! - Trump Joke


President Donald Trump and his motorcade are cruising along a country road to Florida after the government shutdown. Suddenly they hit a pig, killing it instantly.

Trump tells his chief of staff to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Trump sees him staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.

"What happened to you?" asked Trump

"Well, the Farmer gave me the wine, his wife gave me the cigar and his 21-year-old daughter made mad passionate love to me."

"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Trump.

"I said I'm Donald Trump's Chief of staff, and I just killed the pig."

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Kim Jong Un is an Idiot - Donald Trump find out !! - Awesome Joke


Kim Jong Un is sitting in his office. He proudly tells his advisors:
“North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!”

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

“How are you going to send people to the sun? It’s too hot!”

Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:

“What an idiot! We can send them at night!”

His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:

“What an idiot!…

There is no sun at night!”

Sunday, January 7, 2018

Freedom ! - A 1980s American & Russian Joke

Freedom ! - A 1980s American & Russian Joke



An American and a Russian were discussing their respective freedoms in the 1980's...


American: We have more freedom. I can go over to the president and say "Mr. Reagan, I don't like the way you are running this country".

Russian: What's the big deal in that? I too can go to my president and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Reagan is running his country".

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Fidel Castro !!! A colossus Comrade ! - Collection of rare photos

Fidel Castro !!! A colossus Comrade !

A leader with a vision, a supremo with a superior approach..

The world proudly look up to him.

Fidel Castro shown in 1959. (AP Photo)

Cuban leaders walk arm-in-arm at the head of the March 5, 1960 funeral procession for the victims of the La Coubre explosion, blamed by the Cuban government on a U.S. bomb attack on the Cuban ship La Coubre in the harbor of Havana. From left to right are Fidel Castro; the first president of post-Batista Cuba, Osvaldo Dortico; Ernesto “Che” Guevara; Defense Minister Augusto Martinez-Sanchez; Ecology Minister Antonio Nunez-Jimenez; American William Morgan from Toledo, Ohio; and Spaniard Eloy Gutierrez Menoyo. Morgan became a Cuban sympathizer after a friend was reportedly killed by President Batista’s police. He was later executed in 1961, accused of being anti-Communist. Menoyo later founded the anti-Castro Alfa 66 organization. (AP Photo)


Cuban guerrilla leader Fidel Castro does some reading while at his rebel base in Cuba’s Sierra Maestra mountains in this 1957 photo. (AP Photo/Andrew St. George)



Fidel Castro, left, and Che Guevara. (Photo: DeAgostini/Getty Images)


Fidel Castro with Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev during a four-week official visit to Moscow, 1963



Fidel Castro, right, and P.L.O leader Yasser Arafat join hands following the P.L.O. closing speech at the final session of the 7th Non-Aligned Summit conference, March 13, 1983 in New Delhi. (AP Photo/Indian TV)

Fidel Castro talks with President Idi Amin of Uganda during a break in the closing session of the fourth summit meeting of the Non-Aligned countries at the Palais des Nationes conference hall in Algiers, Sept. 9, 1977. (AP Photo)

Cuban Premier Fidel Castro gestures during his marathon speech to the United Nations General Assembly, Oct. 12, 1979 in New York. (AP Photo)







Cuban leader Fidel Castro and Pope John Paul II pose during their historical meeting at the Vatican Tuesday, November 19 1996. (AP Photo/Arturo Mari)

Cuban President Fidel Castro, left, and Venezuelan President Fidel Castro are seen Tuesday, Dec.14, 2004 during a welcoming ceremony at the Revolution Palace in Havana, Cuba. (AP Photo/Jose Goitia)

Fidel Castro, pictured with Russian President, Vladimir Putin, at the “Palace of the Revolution,”. Putin it is the first president of Russia ex-comunist that Cuba view, after the fall of the “Wall of Berlin”. December 14, 2000. (Jorge Rey/MediaPunch/IPX/AP)

Argentina’s President Cristina Fernandez, right, and Cuba’s former President Fidel Castro pose for a photo during a meeting in Havana, Wednesday, Jan. 21, 2009. (AP Photo/Argentinean Presidential Press Office)

Fidel Castro attends the last day of the 7th Cuban Communist Party Congress in Havana, Cuba. Fidel Castro formally stepped down in 2008 after suffering gastrointestinal ailments and public appearances have been increasingly unusual in recent years, April 19, 2016. (Ismael Francisco/Cubadebate via AP)

Monday, November 21, 2016

Trump, Modi and Women !!!

Trump, Modi and Women !!!



Thursday, July 28, 2016

Free Food and wine !!! - Joke


An American man walked into a restaurant in London. As soon as he entered, he noticed an African man sitting in the corner.
So he walked over to the counter, removed his wallet and shouted, "Waiter! I am buying food for everyone in this restaurant, except that black African guy over there!"
So the waiter collected the money from the man and began serving free food to everyone in the restaurant, except the African.
However, instead of becoming upset, the African simply looked up at the American and shouted, "Thank you!" That infuriated the man. So once again, the American took out his wallet and shouted, "Waiter! This time I am buying bottles of wine and additional food for everyone in this bar, except for that African sitting in the corner over there!" So the waiter collected the money from the man and began serving free food and wine to everyone in the bar except the African. When the waiter finished serving the food and drinks, once again, instead of becoming angry, the African simply smiled at the American man and shouted, "Thank you!"
That made the American man furious. So he leaned over on the counter and said to the waiter, "What is wrong with that African man? I have bought food and drinks for everyone in this bar except him, but instead of becoming angry, he just sits there and smiles at me and shouts 'Thank you.' Is he mad?"
The waiter smiled at the American and said, "No, he is not mad. He is the owner of this restaurant.

Friday, January 25, 2013

Americans are honest - Joke



An American, a Mexican and an Italian robbed a bank. 

As it turned out, they got a lot of cash in Dollars, Pesos and Liras. 

When they returned back to their hide-out, American distributed the money in three even shares. 

He counted each portion aloud: 1000 Dollars for me, 1000 Pesos for you, 1000 liras for you... 
1000 Dollars for me, 1000 Pesos for you, 1000 liras for you... 
1000 Dollars for me, 1000 Pesos for you, 1000 liras for you... 

The Mexican said to the Italian 'well I can't stand these Yankees, but I have to admit they are honest. 

Monday, December 3, 2012

Americans vs Russians - Dog fight

The Americans and Russians at the height of the arms race realized that if they continued in the usual manner they were going to blow up the whole world.

One day they sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight.
They'd have five years to breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be entitled to dominate the world.




The losing side would have to lay down its arms. The Russians found the biggest meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and bred them with the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and strongest puppy from each litter, killed his siblings, and gave him all the milk. The used steroids and trainers and after five years came up with the biggest meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were five inches thick and nobody could get near it. "When the day came for th e fight, the Americans showed up with a strange animal. It was a nine foot long Dachshund. Everyone felt sorry for the Americans because they knew there was no way that this dog could possibly last ten seconds with the Russian dog. "When the cages were opened up, the Dachshund came out and wrapped itself around the outside of the ring. It had the Russian dog almost completely surrounded. When the Russian dog leaned over to bite the Dachshund's neck, the Dachshund leaned up and consumed the Russian dog in one bite. There was nothing left at all of the Russian dog.


The Russians came up to the Americans shaking their heads in disbelief. 'We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working for five years with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler dogs in the world and the biggest meanest Siberian wolves. " "That's nothing ", an American replied. "We had our best plastic surgeons working for five years trying to make an alligator look like a Dachshund.'"




Thursday, July 26, 2012

The language translator... - Joke



A New York judge is ready to go through the day's business and he is very rushed.

The first case up involves an elderly Jewish gentleman with a long beard, payos, the works.

The judge, without asking a question, says to the clerk:
"Quick...get me a translator."

Translator shows up and the judge says: "Ask him what his name is, how old is he and where does he come from?"

The translator says: "Die judge vilt vissen, vos is dein namen, vie alt bist du, and fun vie kumst du?"

The old man smiles, looks at the judge and says in perfect English with a British accent: "Your Honour. My name is Sir Chaim Ginsbug. I shall be 82 next Thursday and I've come from England where I hold the chair of Hebrew Philosophy at Oxford University."

The translator turns to the judge and says: "Ehr zukt, ehr is Sir Chaim Ginsburg, ehr is tzwei und achtzig yur alt, und ehr is, mit sach Yiddish philisoph, areingekummen fun Oxford."

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Amazing Creatures from American Dollars











Thursday, June 7, 2012

HELL AND A SENATOR



While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.


'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.
'No problem, just let me in,' says the man. 'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up.
What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven.
Then you can choose where to spend eternity. 'Really, I've made up my mind.
I want to be in heaven,' says the senator.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules. 'And with that, St.Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.


The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.


In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.


They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.


They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.


Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.


They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. 


Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator raises...


The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.


'Now it's time to visit heaven. 'So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.


They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. 'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven.
Now choose your eternity. 'The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:
'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.


'So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.


Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.


'I don't understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time.
Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?


'The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning....Today you voted.'








Thursday, July 14, 2011

Americans spend most time on the internet


Figures for March show the US leading the way for time spent online, with the average user spending almost an hour a day surfing.



Americans spend more time surfing the internet than anyone else in the world, with users clocking up an average of nearly 28 hours a month.

This obsession with the net sees Americans spending almost double the amount of time online than users in Australia.
The data, from Nielsen Online, shows the rest of the world has yet to become quite so fixated with the world wide web.
Europe lags behind, with the French spending just under 20 hours connected to the net.
Spain comes in third with the average Spaniard spending just under 18 hours online.

Users in the UK spend 17 and a half hours online, just above Germany and Italy on 16 hours.
But the US may soon see another nation vying for the top spot however.
China has overtaken the West in its love of the internet and is now home to more internet users than the US.
The comparatively unfettered internet, while still subject to certain amounts of censorship, is proving more attractive to Chinese than ever, with 61 per cent more people going online in the past year.
There were more than 221 million Chinese online at the end of February, compared to the 137 million surfing at the start of 2007.
Video-sharing websites are the most popular.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Buddy, This is America



A man walks up to a cashier in a grocery store. He says,
"Hey, how much for these jalapeño peppers?"
He pronounces it "jo-la-pen-o", not "ho-lo-peen-yo".

The cashier says, "Sir, that's not what those peppers are called."

The man replies, "Listen, buddy, this is America, and I can pronounce any word the way I please."
The cashier responds, "That is as may be, sir, but those are green peppers."


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Hit Leap

Traffic Exchange
Share/Save/Bookmark