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Showing posts with label laugh quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label laugh quotes. Show all posts

Monday, November 7, 2016

Donald Trump - Craziest and Weirdest Quotes

pic courtesy : Huffington Post

"You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful – I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the p**sy. You can do anything." – Donald Trump in a 2005 interview with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush

Donald Trump at the third presidential debate: "Nobody respects women more than me."
Three minutes later: "Such a nasty woman." (Oct. 19, 2016)

"Why can’t we use nuclear weapons?" –Donald Trump, reportedly asking a foreign policy adviser three times during a meeting why the U.S. couldn’t use its nuclear weapons stockpile, according to MSNBC's Joe Scarborough

"If she gets to pick her judges – nothing you can do, folks. Although, the Second Amendment people. Maybe there is. I don’t know." –Donald Trump, in what many interpreted to be a suggestion that someone might shoot Hillary Clinton, her Supreme Court picks, or both, Wilmington, North Carolina campaign rally, Aug. 9, 2016

"His wife, she was standing there, she had nothing to say. She probably — maybe she wasn’t allowed to have anything to say." —Donald Trump, smearing Ghazala Khan, the mother of a fallen American soldier, by implying that she was not allowed to speak, despite the fact that she has spoken publicly about her son's death (ABC News interview, July 30, 2016)

"'You do know you just attacked a Gold Star family?' one adviser warned Trump
Trump didn’t know what a Gold Star family was: 'What’s that?' he asked." –as reported by New York Magazine

“When Iran, when they circle our beautiful destroyers with their little boats, and they make gestures at our people that they shouldn’t be allowed to make, they will be shot out of the water." –Donald Trump, threatening to go to war with Iran over rude hand gestures, Pensacola, Florida, (Sept. 9, 2016)

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Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Sex is like.... Some REALLY interesting quotes


I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he
never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing
in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say
that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think,
"I knowwhat I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked".
--Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

Saturday, January 18, 2014

LIFE is to enjoy - Live life with laugh

An Old man has 8 hair on his head.

He went to Barber shop.

Barber in anger asked: shall i cut or count ?

Old man smiled and said: "Colour it!"

LIFE is to enjoy with whatever you have with you, keep smiling.
------------------



If you feel STRESSED,

Give yourself a Break,

Enjoy Some..

Ice cream

Chocolates

Cake

Why?

B'Coz

STRESSED in reverse Spelling - DESSERTS !!!

Alphabetic advice for you:

A B C - Avoid Boring Company..

D E F - Don't Entertain Fools..

G H I - Go for High Ideas .

J K L M - Just Keep a friend like ME..

N O P - Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..

Q R S - Quit Reacting to Silly tales..

T U V - Tune Urself for ur Victory..

W X Y Z - We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

If you see the moon ..... You see the beauty of God .....
If you see the Sun ..... You see the power of God ..... And ....
If you see the Mirror..... You see the best Creation of GOD .

So Believe in YOURSELF.

Our aim in life should be
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0

9 - glass drinking water.
8 - hrs sound sleep.
7 - wonders tour with family.
6 - six digit income.
5 - days work a week
4 - wheeler.
3 - bedroom flat
2 - cute children.
1 - sweetheart.
0 - tension !


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