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Showing posts with label Letter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Letter. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

A letter to Sun

😩 42°+ temperature in many places.... 
Some one wrote to Sun...

Dear Sun,
Please go to settings, display and brightness and please lower your brightness! 
Please, its too hot to handle!

🌞 Sun's reply...

I have not changed any settings. Please go to your settings and...
1. Increase number of trees...
2. Reduce carbon emissions levels...
3. Reduce concrete jungles...
4. Increase number of lakes...
Basically, switch to
"Human Mode"
from auto mode...!!!

Monday, February 20, 2017

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

The Ultimate Rejection Letter

Herbert A. Millington
Chair - Search Committee
412A Clarkson Hall, Whitson University
College Hill, MA  34109

Dear Professor Millington,

Thank you for your letter of March 16.  After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me
an assistant professor position in your department.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters.  With such a varied and promising field
of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite Whitson's outstanding qualifications and previous experience in
rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at
this time.  Therefore, I will assume the position of assistant professor
in your department this August.  I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Chris L. Jensen

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Funny Leave Applications

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places........

A student's leave letter:
"As I am suffering from my uncle's marriage I cannot attend the class...."

A candidate's application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a 'typist And an accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both for the past Several years and I can handle both; I am applying for the post."

I.T.I., Lahore: An employee applied for leave as follows:
"Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife. Please sanction me one-week leave.

 Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
 "Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clocks and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.

 A covering note:
 "I am enclosed herewith..."

From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am responsible for it, Please grant me 10 days leave.

Actual letter written for application of leave:
 "My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband At home I may be granted leave".

Letter writing:
 "I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

Another gem from I.T.I. Leave-letter from an employee who was Performing his daughter's wedding:
 "As I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave..."

Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Dear God...


Dear GOD,
Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it
an accident?

Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones,
why don't You just keep the ones You have now?

Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries?

Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church.
Is that okay?

Dear GOD,
What does it mean You are a Jealous God?
I thought You had everything.

Dear God,
Did you really mean "do unto others as they do unto
you"? Because if you did, then I'm going to fix my

Dear GOD,
Thank you for the baby brother, but what I prayed for
was a puppy.

Dear GOD,
It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad!
He said some things about You that people are not
supposed to say, but I hope You will not hurt him
anyway. Your friend.

(But I am not going to tell you who I am)

Dear GOD,
Why is Sunday school on Sunday?
I thought it was supposed to be our day of rest.
-Tom L.

Monday, May 24, 2010

A letter to Ex-girl friend

Dear Monisha,

Thanks for being my love for one and half years, when you receive this letter I believe you might have selected a new boy friend and started enjoying your dating.

Every lovers needs to struggle a bit to get a boy friend or girl friend.

Monisha … In order to recover your missing, I got another girl from next street & as you know this is my fourth love.

From all my past experiences I have learned a lot. When the love blossoms everyone starts writing love letters, you know very well… I have written many love letter to you , and writing a love letter in poetic way is not so easy nowadays MONISHA , and it’s a time consuming work, In order to avoid all this I need all my lover letters back so that I can put corrector and send to my new girl friend , please send it back to me , I don’t have poetic references or any photocopy of these letters.

Another thing MONISHA, I have given you one cute photo of mine , can you send it to me please , you know better that this is the only photo I look very cute & handsome and this photo I have taken when I was in my very first love.

And also, during my 1 ½ years of love days I have spend lot of monies for impressing you , I am attaching a list of expenses which I request you to clear it at the earliest.

The expenses are as follows:

Lunch / Dinner ; 895,
Cool Drinks 2938 Rs,
Snacks 5645 Rs. , Juice 3845 Rs.
Cinema 1235Rs.
Internet Chatting 1499 Rs. ,
Mobile 2546 Rs.
Petrol 4255 Rs.
Gift Items 7850 Rs, -

Grand Total : 30,708 rs (in Words : Thrity Thousand Seven Hundred and Eight Rupees).

Please try to clear the above amount so that I can spend these monies on my new girl friend, and more over if you have any of my gift lying with you, am ready to take these packs in half prices. Please calculate the value of packs left over and deduct it from the above statement of account.

I am enclosing herewith your love letters (Weigh around 4 Kg) so that you no need to write again to your boy friend and your photo so that you can give to your new BF.

Also, please advise your expenses which incurred during our dates, I don’t think you have got any expenditure during these dates, I have seen many time that you always forget your purse when it comes to pay.

Anyway I hope you will clear the above outstanding at the earliest and wishing you a very wonderful 6th love affair with Subil.

Your Ex-lover ….

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