Three rats in a bar - Joke

Three rats are relaxing in a bar..

After a few jugs they start talking about how tough they are. The first rat says that when he woke up there was a matchbox of ‘Rat-O-Kill’ outside his hole and he ate the whole lot and didn’t feel a thing.

The second rat said that there was an enormous rat trap with a huge piece of prime cheese for bait. He stepped up, caught the bar on his back, ate the cheese and slipped out without even a bruise.

At this, the third rat got up and headed for the door.

¨Where are you going? ¨ asked the other two rats.

¨Aw, I’m bored here. I’m going home to shag the cat¨

A Horse in the Bar !!! - Joke

A horse walks into a bar. He walks up to the bartender and says “Give me a beer.” The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner.

“Hey boss” he says, “there’s a horse in the bar asking for a beer.”
The bar owner pauses for a second, then replies “Well then give him one, but charge him double. Horses don’t know the price of beer.” So the bartender heads back out front and hands the horse a beer.

“You know,” says the barkeep, “we don’t get many horses around here.”
To which the horse replies, “At these prices I’m not surprised.”

Ass and Media !

Ass and Media !

#Media #justforfun
A King enrolled his donkey in a race
& won.
Local paper read:
'KING's ASS WON!'
The king was so upset with this kind
of publicity that he gave the donkey
to the queen.
The local paper then read:
"QUEEN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN!"
The king fainted....
Queen sold the donkey to a farmer
for 10$.
Next day paper read: "QUEEN SELLS
HER ASS FOR $10!"
The queen fainted...
The next day king ordered the queen
to buy back the donkey and leave it
in jungle.
The Next Headlines:
"QUEEN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS NOW
FREE & WILD !"

The king died... !!

Thats Media!!! You cant control it.
🤗🤗🤗 ....

Horse and a Goat - Joke with a Corporate Lesson

There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat…..

One day, the horse became very ill and he called the veterinarian, who said: "Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I'll come back on the 3rd day and if he's not better, we're going to have to put him to sleep."

Nearby, the goat listened closely to their conversation.

The next day, the Vet gave him the medicine and left.

The goat approached the horse and said:

"Be strong, friend. Get up or else they're going to put you to sleep!"

On the second day,  the doc again gave him the medicine and left.

The goat came back and said: - "Come on buddy, get up or else you're going to die! Come on, I'll help you get up".

Let's go! One, two, three... but the poor horse wouldn't get up!

On the third day, the Vet gave one look at the horse and said:

"Unfortunately, we're going to have to put him down tomorrow. Otherwise, the virus might spread and infect the other horses."

After they left, the goat approached the horse and said: "Listen pal, it's now or never! Get up, come on! Have courage! Come on! Get up! Get up! That's it, slowly! Great! Come on, one, two, three... Good, good. Now faster, come on...... Fantastic! Run, run more!

Yes! Yay! Yes! You did it, you're a champion!!!"

All of a sudden, the owner came back to the farm, saw the horse running on the field ... he was not aware of goats role in this. He began shouting: "It's a miracle! My horse is cured. We must have a Grand celebration...

Let's cook the goat!!!!"

Corporate Lesson:

'Whatever you do, always mark a Cc to your boss'.😂😂😂

The Four Cats !!!!

The Four Cats

 

Four men were bragging about how smart

their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,

the second man was an Accountant,

the third man was a Chemist, and

the fourth man was a Government Employee.

 

To show off, the Engineer called his cat,

'T-square, do your stuff.'

 

T-square pranced over to the desk,

took out some paper and pen and promptly

drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

 

But the Accountant said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,

'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned

with a dozen cookies.

He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good!

 

But the Chemist said his cat could do better.

He called his cat and said,

'Measure, do your stuff.'

 

Measure got up, walked to the fridge,

took out a quart of milk,

got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard

and poured exactly 8 ounces

without spilling a drop into the glass.

 

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the

Government Employee and said,

'What can your cat do?'

 

The Government Employee called his cat and said,

'Coffee Break, do your stuff.'

Coffee Break jumped to his feet.......

ate the cookies..... ..
drank the milk.......

sh-t on the paper.......

screwed the other three cats.......

claimed he injured his back while doing so.......

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions.. .....

put in for Workers' Compensation. ......... .....and

went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

AND THAT, MY FRIEND, IS WHY EVERYONE WANTS TO

WORK FOR THE GOVERNMENT!!