A Sexy Lady in an airplane - Best Joke of 2018

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding.

He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his.

Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?” She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really?” he said.

“And what kind of myths are there?”
“Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is men of Mexican Descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck.”

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”

“Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto Gonzales, but my friends call me Bubba".

A London Lawyer and Sexy Lady - An awesome Joke

Once a Lawyer was travelling by train from Liverpool to Manchester.

When the train started, He was traveling alone in the business class.

Some time later, a Very Beautiful lady came and sat in the opposite seat!
The Lawyer was pleasantly Happy🙂

The lady kept smiling at him...
This made him even Happier ☺️☺️

Then she went and sat next to him....
he was bubbling with Joy😊😍�

She then leant towards him and whispered in his ear...

"Hand over all your cash, cards and mobile phone to me , else I will shout loudly and tell everybody that you are harassing and misbehaving with me"
The Lawyer stared blankly at her 🙄

He took out a paper and a pen from his bag and wrote " I am sorry, I can not hear or speak... Please write on this paper whatever you want to say"

The lady wrote everything that she said earlier and gave it back to him!

The Lawyer took her note, kept it nicely in his pocket...
got up and told her in clear tones...
*Now shout & scream !!*

Moral of the story :

*DOCUMENTATION IS VERY IMPORTANT*

Choosing their Dates !! - A Super Joke

A middle age Guy and his Wife, after a big fight mutually decided to make a list of 5 People whom they're allowed to Sleep with if they ever got the opportunity.

She picked
1. Brad Pitt,
2. Hrithik Roshan,
3. Chris Hemsworth,
4. George Clooney
5. Arnold schwarzenegger

He picked
1. Her Sister,
2. Her cousin
3. Wife's Best Friend,
4. their Neighbour's Wife and
5. their Son's Tuition Teacher.

Men are simple like that, they always set Achievable Goals !!!

The wait, wait, and wait.. - The Prom dance night

So there was this slightly introverted high school student who had never asked a girl to a dance. It’s his senior year and he feels that he should go to prom. So he musters up the courage and asks one of his friends. She says yes. Now he has to prepare for the dance. 

The next day, he goes to buy his tickets, and there is a huge line. So he waits, and waits, and waits, then he finally gets the tickets. The next day, he goes with his date to go get a dress. When they get to the store, there is a huge line going out the door. So the wait, they wait, and they wait. 

Finally, they get to the front and buy a dress. After this, they go to men’s warehouse to get him a suit for the dance, and there is a huge line going out the door. So they wait, wait, and wait. Finally they get in and buy a nice suit. 

The next day, he remembers that he needs to order a corsage. So he goes to the local store and there is a huge line. So he waits, waits, and waits until he gets his order in. Now it’s the day before prom and he wakes up and realizes that he forgot to order a limo, so he calls up the limo rental place. 

All the lines are busy so he decides to go into the place. When he gets there, he sees the line stretching out the door and around the corner. So he waits, and waits, and waits, until finally he was lucky enough to get the very last limo. 

So now it’s the night of the dance and when they get to the prom, the school is doing mandatory drug testing, so there is a huge line getting into the prom. So the wait, wait, and wait. Finally they get to the front and they both pass their drug tests. 

Now the dance was going pretty good for about a half an hour, until he really, really had to go to the bathroom. So he takes off to go, and he sees this huge line going out of the bathroom. He waits, waits, and waits until he finally takes care of his business. 

When he comes out of the bathroom, he notices that a crowd has formed around his date. She had just randomly passed out. Someone says to him, “hey, you’re her date, go get her some punch.” So he goes over to the punch table and thank god, there is no punch line.

Tarzan, Jane and Sex - An Awesome Joke

When Jane first met Tarzan in the jungle she was attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he had sex.

"Tarzan not know sex," he replied.

Jane explained to him what sex was.

Tarzan said, "Oh ....Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree."

Horrified, Jane said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong, but I will show you how to do it properly."

She took off her clothing and lay down on the ground. "Here," she said, pointing to her privates, "you must put it in here."

Tarzan removed his loin cloth, stepped closer to her, and kicked her in the crotch!

Jane rolled around in agony for what seemed like an eternity.

Eventually she managed to gasp for air, and screamed, "What did you do that for?!"

Tarzan replied, "Tarzan always check for squirrels first".

Attractive woman and a man at a restaurant - Joke

At a hotel restaurant, a man sees an attractive woman sitting alone at the next table.

Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he snatches it from the air and hands it back to her.

"This is so embarrassing," the woman says, and she pops her eye back in place. "I'm sorry to have disturbed you. Let me buy dinner to make it up to you. May I join you?" He nods.

The woman is a stimulating conversationalist, stunningly pretty, and the man finds they have a lot in common. He gets her phone number and asks, "You are the most charming woman I've ever encountered. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies. "You just happened to catch my eye."

Your Thai Girl Friend

Your Thai Girl Friend 

Free Sex Tonight !!!

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. 

She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" 
I said, "Wow!" 

Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."