For all the bachelors and the ones with a high libido

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Men and Love

*John was waiting for his love....

"30 minutes late!!", his brain shouted at him, "Last time you were 5
mins late and she had literally gobbled u up ... remember??"

"Yeah yeah", he said to his brain, "You know her ... all moody and
stuff .... oh there she is"

"Scold her OK?", his brain adviced.

"OK I will try"

Sweet Sally comes with the cutest smile and says "Im sorry honey ... I was
shopping for shoes ... totally forgot about you"

"What if you had said that line buddy?", shouted his brain .... "she
would have had a nervous breakdown"

John ignored his brain .. "Its OK honey .. its only half an hour .. no
problem"

She smiled once again .. held his hand and asked "Hope you remember what
occasion is today"

"OMG!!!", thought John .....

"Brain ... search database for reminders, anniversaries, silly
anniversaries, birthdays and birthdays of people I dont care about"

Brain got into action ... he started delegating work to different
parts ... parallel processing .. multiple search .......... complete
memory scan.

Sally stared at John .... "Hello!! u have been staring at me for 2
minutes now ... u OK?"

"Huh!!!", he said, "Oh ... nothing's wrong .. was lost in thought"

"No records found", said the brain ...

"Damn!!", thought John

"So what say ... how do we celebrate this day?", she asked.

John is all confused ... "Ask her ...dumbo?". said the brain

"OK OK ...stop pushing me"

"Honey .. U know my lousy memory .. I guess I cant recall what today is"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT T!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!" , she shouted ... and started
crying.

"How could you forget!! ..... its my doggy's birthday"

"!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!"

A moment of silence.

His entire brain staff was laughing at him.

John was dumbfounded.
"What the hell am I supposed to do know?", he asked his brain.

"Damage control sequence initialized ... dont worry our specialist
will comeback with the perfect line to make everything all right"

"Better do it fast ..brainy"

The brain was working at 90% capacity ..... gathering and analyzing all data
on 'How to handle women?'

Finally an answer was computed and communicated to John.

He looked up to her, and said "Of Course I remember your doggie's birthday
... how can I forget that sweet mutt's special day"

She looked up with utter surprise ...
"HUH!!!!!!! ....... Doggy is the name of my cat you jerk"

She stood up angrily and left.
John and his brain were left there clueless ....*

How to Sleep in Office

Good Night Kiss!

One night a guy took his girlfriend home.
As they were about to bid each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood.
With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"

"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way. It's just too risky!" "Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" .
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"

"Oh yes you can. Please?" .....................
"No, no. I just can't"
"I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, and the girl's older sister showed up in her pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she said, "Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours.. ..
TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE CALLING BELL !

Fresh and Unique Designs Printed on Nike Shoes 2

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From - College Humor

A letter to Ex-girl friend

Dear Monisha,

Thanks for being my love for one and half years, when you receive this letter I believe you might have selected a new boy friend and started enjoying your dating.

Every lovers needs to struggle a bit to get a boy friend or girl friend.

Monisha … In order to recover your missing, I got another girl from next street & as you know this is my fourth love.

From all my past experiences I have learned a lot. When the love blossoms everyone starts writing love letters, you know very well… I have written many love letter to you , and writing a love letter in poetic way is not so easy nowadays MONISHA , and it’s a time consuming work, In order to avoid all this I need all my lover letters back so that I can put corrector and send to my new girl friend , please send it back to me , I don’t have poetic references or any photocopy of these letters.

Another thing MONISHA, I have given you one cute photo of mine , can you send it to me please , you know better that this is the only photo I look very cute & handsome and this photo I have taken when I was in my very first love.

And also, during my 1 ½ years of love days I have spend lot of monies for impressing you , I am attaching a list of expenses which I request you to clear it at the earliest.

The expenses are as follows:

Lunch / Dinner ; 895,
Cool Drinks 2938 Rs,
Snacks 5645 Rs. , Juice 3845 Rs.
Cinema 1235Rs.
Internet Chatting 1499 Rs. ,
Mobile 2546 Rs.
Petrol 4255 Rs.
Gift Items 7850 Rs, -

Grand Total : 30,708 rs (in Words : Thrity Thousand Seven Hundred and Eight Rupees).


Please try to clear the above amount so that I can spend these monies on my new girl friend, and more over if you have any of my gift lying with you, am ready to take these packs in half prices. Please calculate the value of packs left over and deduct it from the above statement of account.

I am enclosing herewith your love letters (Weigh around 4 Kg) so that you no need to write again to your boy friend and your photo so that you can give to your new BF.

Also, please advise your expenses which incurred during our dates, I don’t think you have got any expenditure during these dates, I have seen many time that you always forget your purse when it comes to pay.

Anyway I hope you will clear the above outstanding at the earliest and wishing you a very wonderful 6th love affair with Subil.


Your Ex-lover ….

Amanush

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