Kiss me baby..... The Top 10 Kissing Pickup Lines!

Your lips look lonely. Would they like to meet mine?

You're so hot, I could fry an egg on your head.

You're like a great song -- I just can't get you out of my head.

You must be a broom, 'cause you swept me off my feet.

You know, my lips aren't going to kiss themselves.

Your feet must hurt, because you've been running through my mind all day.

Finally! Someone good enough for me!

I lost my dreidel -- can I take you for a spin?

You know those long walks on the beach everyone's always talking about? We should take one sometime.

So, where do you hide your wings, angel?

Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to lie to my diary again?

If I were a frog, you'd be the first lilypad I'd jump on.

I can tie a cherry stem in a knot using only my tongue -- wanna see?

My friends call me Sugar Lips -- wanna find out why?

When God made you, he was totally showing off.

The Rabbit Joke .. :)

A  little rabbit happily running through the forest stumbles upon a
giraffe rolling a marijuana cigarette. The rabbit looks at her and says,

"Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come

with me running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much

better!" The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it and

goes off running with the rabbit. 

Then they come across an elephant doing opium, so the rabbit again says,

"Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about your health. Come

running with us through the pretty forest, you'll see, you'll feel so

good!" The elephant looks at them, looks at his razor, mirror and all,

and then tosses them and starts running with the rabbit and giraffe.

The three animals then come across a lion about to take a heroin shot...

The rabbit says "Lion my friend, why do you do this? Think about your

health! Come running with us through the sunny forest, you will feel so

good!" The lion looks at him, puts down his needle, and starts to beat

the hell out of the little rabbit.

As the giraffe and elephant watch in horror, they look at him and ask,

"Lion, why did you do this? He was merely trying to help us all!"

The lion answers..... .....

.

.

"That little devil makes me run around the forest like an idiot for

Hours every time he's high on cocaine!   "

Rock on  guys!

Negative People

 

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.    

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.  She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome?  Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. you're crazy to go to Rome.  So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"  

"Continental?"  exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late.  So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."  

"Don't go any further. I know that place.   Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him.   He'll look the size of an ant."

"Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.    

"It was wonderful,"  explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.    

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really!  What'd he say ?"    




He said: "Who f*****d up your hair?"