Gay Family - Joke

A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman, "Give me six double vodkas."

The barman says, "Wow! You must have had one hell of a day."

"Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today, the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas.

The bartender says, "Geez! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?".
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"YEAH, MY WIFE!" 

The Nursing Home - Joke

One evening a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for.

The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden.

She seems OK, but after a while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seems OK, but after a while she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back upright. This goes on all morning.

Later the family arrives to see how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask.

"It's pretty nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."

The Barber and the Politician

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. 

After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' 

The florist was pleased and left the shop. 

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. 

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. 

The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. 

Then a Labor Minister came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' 

The Politician was very happy that their system was working and left the shop. 

The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Politicians lined up waiting for a free haircut. 

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it. 

BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON!