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Obama & the Canadian PM

Obama & the Canadian PM

President Obama and the Canadian PM are shown a time machine which can see 50 years into the future. They both decide to test it by asking a question each.

President Obama goes first: "What will the USA be like in 50 years’ time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action and gives him a printout, he reads it out: "The country is in good hands under the new president, José Fernandez.... crime is non-existent, there is no conflict, the economy is healthy. Vice President Jin Tao has declared Chinese language mandatory in all USA schools there are no worries."

The Canadian PM thinks, "It's not bad, this time machine, I'll have a bit of that" so he asks: "What will Canada be like in 50 years’ time?"

The machine whirls and beeps and goes into action, and he gets a printout. But he just stares at it.

"Come on, Stephen " says Obama, "Tell us what it says."

"I can't!

It's all in Tamil!"

The Country Doctor

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a

doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, 'I've been a little sick to my stomach'

The older doctor says, 'Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?'

As they left, the younger man said, 'You didn't even examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?'

'I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there?

When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the trash.

That was what probably was making her sick.'

'Huh,' the younger doctor said. 'Pretty clever. I think I'll try that at the next house.'

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with

a younger woman.

She complained that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said,

'I'm feeling terribly run down lately.'

'You've probably been doing too much work for the Church,'

the younger doctor told her.

'Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.'

As they left, the elder doctor said,

'I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, but how did you arrive at it?'

“I did what you did at the last house.

I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the preacher under the bed.