HELL AND A SENATOR

While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter.


'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.
'No problem, just let me in,' says the man. 'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up.
What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven.
Then you can choose where to spend eternity. 'Really, I've made up my mind.
I want to be in heaven,' says the senator.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules. 'And with that, St.Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.


The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course.


In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.


They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.


They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.


Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.


They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. 


Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator raises...


The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.


'Now it's time to visit heaven. 'So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing.


They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. 'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven.
Now choose your eternity. 'The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers:
'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.


'So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.


Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.


'I don't understand,' stammers the senator. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time.
Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?


'The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning....Today you voted.'

Extremely Disturbing Photo Manipulations

Warning - Don't scroll down if you have a weak heart  

Tongue TWISTERs...

1. If you understand, say "understand" . If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

                             

2. I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish, but if you wish the wish the witch wishes, I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.

 

3. Sounding by sound is a sound method of sounding sounds.
 


4. A sailor went to sea to see, what he could see. And all he   could  see was sea, sea, sea.


5. Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People, Purple Paper People

 

6. If two witches were watching two watches, which witch would watch which watch?



7. I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought   I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been  the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.

 

8. Once a fellow met a fellow In a field of beans. Said a fellow to a fellow, "If a fellow asks a fellow, Can a fellow tell a fellow What a fellow means?"

 

9. Mr Inside went over to see Mr Outside. Mr Inside stood outside and called to MrOutside inside. Mr Outside answered Mr Inside from inside and Told Mr Inside to come inside. Mr Inside said "NO", and told Mr Outside to come outside. MrOutside and Mr Inside argued from inside and outside about going outside or coming inside. Finally, Mr Outside coaxed Mr Inside to come inside, then both Mr Outside and Mr Inside went outside to the riverside.


10. SHE SELLS SEA SHELLS ON THE SEA SHORE , BUT THE SEA SHELLS THAT SHE SELLS, ON THE SEA SHORE ARE NOT THE REAL ONES



11. The owner of the inside inn was inside his inside inn with his inside outside his inside inn.


12. If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors doctors?  


"When a doctor falls ill another doctor doctor's the doctor. Does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctor the doctor in his own way or does the doctor doctoring the doctor doctors the doctor in the doctor's way"

 

13. We surely shall see the sun shine shortly. Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not. watch? Whether the weather is hot. Whether the weather is cold. Whether the weather is either or not. It is  whether we like it or not.

 

14. Nine nice night nurses nursing nicely. 



15. A flea and a fly in a flue Said the fly "Oh what should we do" Said the flea" Let us fly Said the fly"Let us flee" So they flew through a flaw in the flue

 

16. If you tell Tom to tell a tongue-twister his tongue will be twisted as tongue-twister twists tongues.


 

17. Mr. See owned a saw.And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw. Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw Before Soar saw See,  Which made Soar sore.Had Soar seen See's saw Before See sawed Soar's seesaw, See's saw would not have sawed Soar's seesaw. So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.But it was sad to see Soar so sore Just because See's saw sawed  Soar's seesaw.