Sex is like.... Some REALLY interesting quotes

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural,
wholesome things that money can buy."
--Tom Clancy

"You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."
--Steve Martin

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
--Woody Allen

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."
--Rodney Dangerfield

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal,
particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
--Lynn Lavner

"Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the taxidermist."
--Matt Barry

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
--Camille Paglia

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
--George Burns

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
--Sharon Stone

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex---no matter what she's reading."
--Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson

"A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he
never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
--Barbara Bush

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
--Robin Williams

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself."
Roseanne

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
--Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing
in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say
that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
--Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"
--Dustin Hoffman

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think,
"I knowwhat I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked".
--Jerry Seinfeld

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
--Rod Stewart

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
--Robin Williams

Lionel Messi ● ALL 500 Career Goals in ONE SINGLE video ● 2004-2016

Football super star Lionel Messi has reached an incredible milestone: 500 Career Goals! 
450 with FC Barcelona and 50 with the Argentina National Team. 
Congratulations Leo! 
Enjoy this video!

The 7 Habits of Socially Connected People

Some people may be naturally gregarious and easily find themselves socially connected. For most of us, feeling truly integrated into a social scene takes some effort. Luckily, there are predictable patterns to social success. Do certain things, and people will be drawn to you.

Below are seven skills that all socially successful people possess:

1. They focus on quality over quantity.
   People who feel socially connected may have a thousand Facebook friends and even more Twitter and Instagram followers, but they know deep down that this is not the heart of their social circle. In other words, they know that most social media friends are acquaintances at best.
   While having many acquaintances is certainly not a bad thing, those who succeed socially understand that acquaintances need to eventually turn into actual friends if they want to feel truly tied to that friend group. They don’t settle for quantity, they always go for quality.
2. They prioritize face-to-face interactions.
   Most socially connected people recognize that maintaining relationships requires a bit of effort, and one of the efforts they prioritize is seeing other people in person. While in-person interactions can feel much less efficient than online or phone interactions, there’s a value to in-person communication that socially successful people understand. It’s how you start seeing people as just that — people!
3. They share.
   To feel socially connected to others, it’s vital to feel seen by the people around you. But to feel seen, you have to let others get to know you. Socially connected people understand this and are willing to share at least bits and pieces of personal information with others. This doesn’t mean oversharing to complete strangers. It simply means making yourself a little vulnerable to those you want to feel close to.
4. They listen.
   While introverts often have a hard time feeling as socially connected as extroverts, it’s definitely not a given that the most extroverted person in the room is also the most socially connected. He may garner a lot of attention, but if an extrovert can’t learn a bit about those around him by quietly listening to them, those around him will hardly feel close to him. Listening to others makes people want to be around you, and wanting to be around each other is the essence of feeling connected.
5. They ask questions.
   Socially connected people get that, fundamentally, all social interaction is about demonstrating interest in one another. If you don’t act like you’re interested in those around you, you’ll come across as aloof, cold, possibly even rude.
   The easiest way to demonstrate interest in others is to ask them questions. The most socially successful people ask factual questions (“What do you do for work?”) but they also ask questions that are more subjective (“How do you like what you do for work?”). These two types of questions used in conjunction accelerates feelings of connectedness.
6. They see past differences.
   As you learn more about those around you through listening and asking questions, it’s inevitable that you’ll notice some differences between you and them. Be it politics, religion, or lifestyle choices, differences will arise.
   Socially connected people realize that nobody will be and act and look exactly like them, so they make an effort to not let differences stand in the way of closeness. They understand that fundamentally we’re all human, and we can all naturally relate to one another.
7. They don’t worry about rejection.
   It’s perfectly natural to fear rejection when entering a new social group or meeting a new person you really like. The leap that socially connected people make is that while they likely feel this fear, they don’t worry about it.
   In other words, they don’t dwell in the fear and allow it to turn into an unproductive rumination on everything that could go wrong. Instead, they identify the people they want to be close to and march bravely into that relationship despite any fears that may arise.

These seven habits of socially connected people are straightforward and easy to get started on right away. Pick the one you think would have the biggest impact on your social life and give it a try!

- Kira Asatryan

Mother of Six !!! - Joke

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud
of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and
wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the
top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?' His wife, irritated by
her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

These 13 Disturbing Images Of Our Culture Will Give You The Creep

The modern world really is strange, sometimes cruel and very disturbing sometimes. There are certain things that we don't think about in our culture because they make us feel uneasy. However, often artists turn a critical eye to these parts of society and make us face them by highlighting them in powerful and moving images. Here are some images created by artists Steve Cutts and Luis Quiles which show some of the sad truths of our society.

1. When you play video games for too long, you might find yourself getting rooted to the spot and losing all of your forward momentum.

2. Taking a very different type of selfie and looking for love and admiration online.

3. The difference between the life of a child in a first world country and one in a third world country is striking.

4. A dark and disturbing image about the powerful influences on Libya.

5. These images just get darker and darker.

6. There certainly are a lot of advantages for those who grew up with money.

7. Are we so attached to our phones that we can't put them down for long enough to enjoy a day at the beach?

8. The role of women in religion is always a very empowering or modern one.

9. Female genital mutilation is a horrifying and brutal reality for many girls around the world.

10. When we are powered by greed, we usually leave our conscience behind.

11. These images are dark and powerful and really make you think

12. When you are eating your fast food, think about the people around the world who don't have enough food to survive.

13. We are afraid of what we don't understand - and it causes us to lash out and hurt rather than try to be tolerant.

@http://www.viralands.com/

How to Boost Your ‘Happy Hormones’

After experiencing depression while training to become a physician, I developed an interest in happiness and have studied, and taught, ways to create positivity and joy.

A study published in Psychological Science in 2008 found that certain inherited genes seem to account for 50 percent of our happiness. But even if your natural tendency is to be more down than up, you can make choices that will help you experience a brighter, happier life.

Hormones and neurotransmitters moderate our feelings of well-being, and lifestyle factors affect them. Here are five of the main hormones and neurotransmitters, plus ways to boost them. However, if you feel consistently unhappy, see your doctor.

1. Dopamine

This neurotransmitter drives your brain’s reward system. If you are praised at work for doing a good job, you’ll get a delicious dopamine hit’resulting in feelings of well-being. It also drives pleasure-seeking behaviour. Boost it by setting realistic goals (e.g., tidying your desk or sticking to your workout schedule) and achieving them. And seek out pleasurable healthy activities that have a positive impact on your life.

2. Serotonin

This mood-boosting neurotransmitter was made famous by SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) antidepressants, which increase the brain’s serotonin levels. The most effective and natural way to boost serotonin is by exercising daily; that’s one reason a brisk walk does wonders for your mood.

3. Oxytocin

Both a neurotransmitter and a hormone, oxytocin is often called ‘the love hormone.’ Researchers from Claremont University in California have done extensive research on its impact on women, linking oxytocin release to life satisfaction levels. It may play a greater role in women’s physiology and happiness compared to men’s. Spending time with loved ones and being kind to others stimulates oxytocin. Don’t you feel good just reading that? Stress blocks the release of oxy­tocin, so manage your stress, too.

4. Estrogen

It helps form serotonin and protects you from irrita­bility and anxiety, keeping your mood steady. Estrogen decreases with menopause, and lifestyle factors such as smoking and extreme exercise can also lower it. The estrogen/progesterone imbalance in perimenopause can also negatively affect mood. Stress management can balance them, since stress hormones, such as cortisol, interfere with the secretion, action and function of the two hormones.

5. Progesterone

This helps you to sleep well and prevents anxiety, irritability and mood swings. Levels drop as women enter perimenopause after age 35 or 40, and this can be accelerated by excess stress and unhealthy foods. Experts such as Dr. Sara Gottfried, author of The Hormone Cure, saytaking care of yourself and eating right is your first defence for balancing hormones before trying hormone replacement therapy, including bioidentical progesterone and estrogen. Talk to your doctor to learn more.

Natural Ways to Boost Your Happy Hormones

‘ Listening to music is a fabulous way to get a hit of dopamine: In a 2011 study published inNature Neuroscience, McGill University researchers reported that listening to music you love (especially if it gives you ‘chills’) creates a boost in feel-good dopamine.

‘ Carbohydrates increase serotonin levels, which partly explains why we crave sweet, starchy foods when we are feeling down. For the best mood boost with the least negative impact, choose healthy, high-fibre sources of carbs such as dense whole-grain bread or quinoa.

‘ Get a boost of oxytocin by doing pleasurable things such as spending time cuddling with your partner, your kids or your pet.

‘ Increase estrogen with stress-relieving activities such as yoga, meditation, taking a hot bath’or whatever works for you.

‘ Keep progesterone levels at optimum levels by eating well and avoiding saturated fat and sugar, getting regular physicals and avoiding stress.

 - BY DR. SUSAN BIALI

This article was originally titled “The chemistry of happiness” in the October 2014 issue of Best Health.

Because I'm a Man..

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a
wire long  after hypothermia has set in. The AAA is not an option. I will win.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop
the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man
shows up, one  of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things,
but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't, know where to start."
We will then drink beer and break wind as a form of holy communion.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me
soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get
as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at
the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like
"cumin" or "tofu." For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any
circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is
a euphemism. (For your information guys, cumin is a spice and not a bodily function.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will
insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much,
once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
__________________________________________ ______
Because I'm a man, I must hold the television ion remote control in my
hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show
looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator).....applies to engineers mainly.
_________________________________________________
Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about.
The answer is always either sex, trucks, or football. I have to make up something
else when you ask, so don't ask.
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, 
or have your mother come visit us,
or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to.
Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it.
And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
_________________________________________ ______
Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie.
Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.... 
and if you are feeling amorous afterwards,
then I will certainly remember the name and recommend it to others.
______________ _________________________________
Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what
you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine.
With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. 
Can we just go now?
_______________________________________________
Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2004, I will share
equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the
vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.....like wandering around in the
garden with a beer wondering what to do.
____________________________________________
This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the Male

;)

The Painter and the Blond

A blond, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out
as a 'handy woman' and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he
had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch," he said. "How much will you charge me?"
The blond, after looking about, responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials she might need
were in the garage. His wife overheard the conversation and asked,
"Does she realize that porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should; she was standing on it.Do you think she's dumb?"

"No. I guess I'm guilty of being influenced by all the dumb blond
email jokes we've been receiving." A short time later, the blond came to
the door to collect her money."You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blond replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it
two coats."Impressed, the man handed her the $50.00."And by the way," the
blond added, "it's not a Porch, it's a Lexus."

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he
would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business
flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he
wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he
knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover
it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."

The Blue Suit - Funniest Joke

An old lady is very upset as her husband Albert had just passed away.
She went to the undertakers to have one last look at her dearly
departed husband. The instant she saw him she starts crying.
One of the undertakers strides up to provide comfort in this somber
moment. Through her tears she explains that she is upset because
her dearest Albert was wearing a black suit, and it was his dying wish
to be buried in a blue suit.

The undertaker apologises and explains that traditionally, they always
put the bodies in a black, but he'd see what he could arrange.
The next day she returned to the undertakers to have one last
moment with Albert before his funeral the following day.
When the undertaker pulls back the curtain, she manages to smile
through her tears as Albert is resplendent in a smart blue suit.
She says to the undertaker "Wonderful, wonderful, but where did you
get that beautiful blue suit?" "Well, yesterday afternoon after you left,
a man about your husband's size was brought in & he was wearing
a blue suit. His wife explained that she was very upset as he had
always wanted to be buried in a black suit," the undertaker replied.
The wife smiled at the man.

He continued,
"After that, it was simply a matter of swapping the heads"

Cool Definitions + Maths and Equations in our Life and Romance :)

ROMANCE MATHEMATICSSmart man + smart woman = romance

Smart man + dumb woman = affair

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETICSmart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATHA man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS 

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY 

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE 

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE 

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the
same thing to them at funerals.

The Monkey at the bar - Joke

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey.
He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey
jumps all around the place.

The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and
eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,
then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of
the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth,
and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see
what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?"
"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy,
"he eats everything in sight, the little devil. Sorry.
I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for
the stuff the monkey ate,then leaves.


Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has
his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts
running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his
drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.

He grabs it, sticks it up his butt,
pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut,
and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, 
pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight,
but ever since he had to shit out
that cue ball, he measures everything FIRST!"

You won't believe these... Amazing Trivia

The longest word in the English language, with all of the letters in alphabetical order is "Almost".

Mel Blanc, voice artist speaking Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.

DMT (Dimethyltryptamine) is the strongest psychedelic on the planet, this chemical naturally occurs in the human brain and spine.

If you dig a hole straight through the earth and fell through it, the time it would take for you to reach the other side is 42 minutes.

The highest mountain in Denmark is only 568 ft (173 m).

After the Revolutionary War it became illegal to speak English in Virginia. You could only speak American.

In England, in the 1880's, "Pants" was considered a dirty word!

Chicago has the largest cookie factory, where Nabisco made over 4.6 billion "Oreo" cookies in 1997.

The flea can jump 350 times its body length.

In China, September 20 is "Love Your Teeth Day."

It is believed that Shakespeare was 46 around the time that the King James Version of the Bible was written. In Psalms 46, the 46th word from the first word is shake and the 46th word from the last word is spear.

March 25, The day Imran Khan's cornered Tigers conquered the Cricket World !!

24 years ago, on this day Pakistan beat England in MCG to life their First (the only so far) Cricket World Cup.
Captain Imran Khan gave a pep talk to inspire his fighting team to beat the more fancied English team.

Pakistan were facing elimination after winning just one of their first five matches. Luck also smiled on them when they shared points with England in a rain-ruined match they were poised to lose. Imran's instructions to his team to fight like "cornered tigers" produced the desired results as his side won their last five matches, including the final against Graham Gooch's Englishmen. 

World TB Day 2016: Unite to End TB

The World Tuberculosis Day takes place on March 24, 2016. It is a day to build public awareness about the global epidemic of tuberculosis and efforts to eliminate the disease. The day is observed annually and commemorates the day in 1882 when Dr. Robert Koch astounded the scientific community by announcing that he had discovered the cause of tuberculosis, the TB bacillus.

At the time of Koch's announcement in Berlin, tuberculosis was raging through Europe and the Americas, causing the death of one out of every seven people. Koch's discovery opened the way toward diagnosing and curing tuberculosis. Today tuberculosis causes the deaths of about 1.7 million people each year, mostly in the Third World.

In 1982, on the one-hundredth anniversary of Robert Koch's presentation, the International Union Against Tuberculosis and Lung Disease proposed that March 24 be proclaimed an official World Tuberculosis Day. In 1996, the World Health Organization joined with the IUATLD and a wide range of other concerned organizations to increase the impact of World Tuberculosis Day. 

Tuberculosis is a common, and in many cases lethal, infectious disease caused by various strains of mycobacteria, usually Mycobacterium tuberculosis. It typically attacks the lungs but can also affect other parts of the body. It is spread through the air when people who have an active TB infection cough, sneeze, or otherwise transmit their saliva through the air. If left untreated, kills more than 50% of those so infected. (With material from: Wikipedia). 

The text "World Tuberculosis Day" has been taken from www.cute-calendar.com

Apple - 40 Years in 40 Seconds

Apple - 40 Years in 40 Seconds
an amazing Video compilation by Apple