Free Sex Tonight !!!

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. 

She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" 
I said, "Wow!" 

Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Blonde's Flask - Funniest Blonde Joke

A blonde notices that her coworker has a thermos

So she asks him what it's for.

He responds, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

The blonde immediately buys one for herself.

The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it.

Her coworker asks, "What do you have in it?"

She replies, "Soup and ice cream."

Heard of Pending #coffee ?

Heard of Pending #coffee ?